Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The Long Gray and Analog Pain

No kidding.  Here it comes.  Here it is--the never ending gray drear.

Got your anti depressants filled for the Oregon winter?

Why shouldn't we just hibernate through it?

Save a lot of everything.

Today, rain poured down in sheets.  More rain than we need.  We're already over our normal quota for October.  Enough already.  Once the quota is hit, for inches of rain, I expect the rain to stop and the sun to pop out!

Sometimes I wish I could like sports, get into the fall football thing, but I don't like football or follow any sport.  Maybe I would if I were playing it or playing some sport or if I knew players, but otherwise, it's just another reality show you watch from your planted butt end.

Those of us unable to genetically (perhaps) enjoin  with the fan or groupie mentality miss out on all sorts of bonding experiences.   I am unable to scream for a team.  Why do people call a team of players unconnected to them theirs anyhow?  Do they live through them? I don't understand.  I wish I could.

Fall is here.  My Roku has died twice in the last three days.  I spent a lot of hours trying to make it good again.  I spent time with Roku chat people and it was wasted.   Finally, I spit three times on the ground, turned clockwise full circle twice with my arms in the air and my eyes closed, chanting four words backwards, after, AFTER I'd already prayed to ten gods, from four directions, and promised to name every cat in three litters of completely female kittens all "Roku" and adopt them out only to male cat lovers over 40 who speak Mayan.  Also, I reset all devices, including the Roku and the router and the PC and even my microwave for good measure, to factory settings.  Then I knelt, kissed the ground, and changed all the batteries in every remote, then burned incense with the discarded batteries and chanted "Ohmmm" for twenty seven seconds.  After that, I turned off my computer for exactly two minutes.  Then I unscrewed the cable for 32 seconds and kissed and blessed its end before screwing it back in.

I then cowered under the eye of Comcast and pleaded my case again and cried and offered up sacrifices and Comcast smiled upon me and the Roku connected to the internet and I bowed to the Comcast Eye and I am evil by comparison.

I watched three episodes of Twisted then.  But during the 4th, Comcast frowned upon me.  Spooling circles appeared as I leapt to my feet crying "NOooooooo!"  But yes, I had been once again inflicted upon by the Eye.  No more would the Roku connect to the router which is connected to the....modem which is connected to the....ham bone.. no wait, I'm sorry, I got that mixed up with some old thing in my head.

After spending two days with Roku and routers, and nameless product chat pimpers, I "liked" Roku on facebook even though its a lie and I don't like Roku anymore, but I wished to vent and vent I did and quickly most of my comments vanished into cyber discard.  I'm not sure who to blame for the failings of the Roku---Roku itself, or the router, or the Eye of Comcast, the maker of all knowledge and all that is good (Listen, my devices are not working, I have to suck up).

I'd like to kill them all.  I have a fantasy about hooking them up to a chain and swinging that chain with the Roku and the Linksys and the modem around my head, whooping wildly, maybe riding atop a van at the same time.  Or riding them down, atop a nuke from a bomber bay like Slim Pickins. Or putting them atop a car and putting that car into the car crusher and moving the lever that starts the car to crushing with the Linksys and the Roku and the modem atop it, while I sing.

I have had lots of thoughts like that the last hours.  Dark thoughts.

I lamented my lack of analog friends to my virtual friends on facebook, most of whom I've never met in my life and never will.   My virtual friends all say I'm a fine person and even though I have no real life friends, virtual friends are probably good enough.  I thought about that for awhile.

I thought "there's a lot wrong with this world".

I thought, "my analog friends I've had never were as nice as my virtual friends."

I'm going back into the matrix.   I need the perks offered there.  I'm not so sure I need the analogs anymore.

Well, for you interested, here are some magic mushrooms.  Just kidding there.  These are growing helter skelter like crazy in my dead neighbors yard. They are not edibles. They won't kill you to eat them, just give you a stomach ache.

This post is dedicated to all of you out there who have experienced the hair pulling "joy" of non functional electronic components and the tangled web of unhelpful customer service people.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Some How

Some how I have to keep on.

These days it is hard.  I am too alone.  I look ahead and see nothing but the same--struggles to make it caring for these cats, to feed and clothe and house myself, keep the car running so I can get what I need and possibly escape this freeway sprawled suburb town now and then.

I have the phone now, at least its there, ready, and it was fun at first, but its in the drawer with the others, because I still don't get any calls.  The little plastic phone I couldn't even see, it was so tiny, would have been just fine for this person, me, whom no one calls.  Ah well....

I still try to find Slinko a home.  He would benefit from getting into a good home.  No luck there either.   Sometimes I wonder if I just think I'm alive, because I travel my world like a ghost unseen.

The experience with the neighbor knocked the wind from my sails.  Any thought I had of being liked or respected on this block vanished after that.  I knew she thought I was an idiot and sometimes tried to take advantage of me for sport, but the magnitude of the last episode, well I haven't recovered.  I avoid her like the plague now.

As for the cats, I need to figure out a product to make and somehow sell, to support them.  I don't get donations anymore, except from a handful of people who, it seems, will never stop helping me care for the cats here, if they are able.  I have an obligation to them, also, to try to find a way to keep going, something I can make to sell.  I don't like to beg.  I don't expect anyone to help.  I need to find a way to support them on my own, through selling something, either that I make or a service.

But what?  What would people buy from me?  I'm not crafty.  This website is not popular, in fact, it's barely rarely read and so would be unsuitable as a means to market a product should I come up with one.  I'll keep trying to come up with an idea for something, then a way  to sell it.  I have to.

I lay awake at night trying to think of something I could sell, make or a business to start that would support the cats.  Or how I would begin without money to begin with.

I walked three miles two days ago and found just one can.  Canning will not be my answer.   Or much help.  Everyone is poor around here and so many people search for cans.

However, an Albany business did donate their cans two weeks ago, which I returned and the total came to just under $23, with which I bought a 25 pound bag of dry cat food.  That's amazing that their cans will feed five cats here for a month.  I was very pleased and happy.

I have two Reel Mowers I am trying to sell.  They don't go for much new, but I hope to sell them.  Wrong time of year maybe, have not had one response.  But it costs nothing to keep the ad going.

Today, Heartland takes Viktor.  He will be devastated. He's weary of being just in my bathroom and now he will be locked in a small cage.  I feel very guilty and conflicted over this.    But maybe he will get a good home soon.  There are so few good homes out there, makes me hang my head to think I will need to delude myself to hope the best for him.

When I took in Viktor, and the other two cats, from the rabbit hoarders, the officer who asked me to take them in, told me there were rabbits again in the rabbit hoarders garage.  She was aghast and told me they were told they all had to be gone by that Wednesday, including the cats and the dogs.  They'd already removed 200 rabbits and Guinea Pigs.

But when I picked up the cats, I asked how things were going for them, and one of them at the house said lots of her friends had gone to adopt their rabbits, after Safehaven took in the 200 and immediately adopted them out, super cheap and unfixed.

Although the woman said nothing else, given there were rabbits back in the garage, I wondered immediately if those were not some of the same rabbits, previously removed, adopted out fast and furious and almost free and unfixed, and maybe adopted to the rabbit hoarders friends who just handed them right back over to the rabbit hoarder.  I wondered that first thing and I still do wonder that.

I still have anger that the cats were left there to suffer.  Poor Missy, with mouth and throat cancer, unable to eat without pain, and poor Bootsy, with that horrific awful staff infection all over him.  Only Vicktor seemed somewhat healthy of all things alive there.  Allegedly there were three dogs there too, ordered to be gone also by last Wednesday.  I never saw even one dog.

Viktor plays!




Well, today is the last day with any sun forecast for at least a week so I'm going to take a walk again.  Will take my can bag just in case.  Wish me luck.  Thank you.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Cat Fishing with Viktor

I have no defense of this video except I am bored and I think its darn cute. Viktor surprised me. Man alive, can he ever jump!

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Tremendous Kitty Viktor

Viktor is awesome and soon will be at Heartland Humane in Corvallis and up for adoption!

Monday, October 13, 2014

R.I.P Missy

Missy, the skinny little gray torti I worried so over for months, watching her deteriorate and wobble when she walked, by the rabbit hoarders house, has died.  She was euthanized at Heartland after they found mouth and throat tumors consistent with cancer, large and painful, I was told, when I gave the permission.

She was not underfed.  She had cancer so painful she couldn't eat.

Rest in Peace, little gray girl.

I wanted to save her, to help her into a wonderful loved life.

Some things you can't fix.  I'd never seen anything like that drool discoloration around her mouth and on her nose, however.  She drooled constantly, from the tumors.

Sorry little girl.

Victor and Bootsy, now Mr. Marvelous, are now Heartland cats officially although I brought Victor back with me to foster here til they have the room for him, which won't be long.

Bootsy went home with a Heartland volunteer.  He has a staff infection in his skin, from scratching at himself with dirty claws, due to fleas and severe ear mites.  He would not have lived much longer, but now he has a chance to be remade.  He's a wonderful sweet boy and I hope, once he heals, which might take a couple months, that he gets the best home ever and lives a joyful life.

And that is that.

Heartland did not charge me a dime, which caused me to walk out of there crying.  Thank you, Heartland.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

The Rabbit Hoarders Cats

How beautiful was Boots, just a teen, in December of 2012, when I took him to be fixed, along with his two siblings.  Now he is weak from parasites and his ears and face are crusted and his body erupted in rashes.

Do you recall, back in late July, the Albany police raided a home down on Marian and removed 200 rabbits and Guinea Pigs?  They all went to Safehaven and I was horrified to see the people's cats were left behind, to remain at that house.  Only a couple weeks or so prior to that I swung by with a friend and we asked those people why their cats looked in such bad shape.  News reports showed the cats and the horrible state they were in.  Reporters commented and asked why they'd been left while the rabbits were taken.  In the weeks which have followed I've called the police twice about those cats.  One time I was asking why they were not removed and the second was to ask for a welfare check on the cats since the muted torti girl looked about to collapse.

Today the police knocked on my door.  The rabbit hoarders had not been supposed to keep any animals, I was told, not the rabbits, not the dogs and not the cats.  They have until this coming Wednesday to find a safe place for the cats to go.  Safehaven took the rabbits but apparently couldn't or wouldn't take the cats.  I don't know if this is true, just was told that.  This is the dilemma of all cats in this county who find themselves in trouble.  There's nowhere they can go.

The police came here, hoping I would help the cats, fearful with the deadline looming, that the cats would end up dumped somewhere.

I could not refuse them.  But I also know I can't keep more here and would not be able to undertake this alone.  I immediately called Heartland to ask if they might help.  That was before I even went over there.  They said they would if they could, but I wasn't talking to a person with enough clout to know for sure.

I met Boots, the soft orange kitty in the above photo two years ago when he was a teen, and I took three teens, him being one of them, from that house to be fixed, back in December of 2012.   His siblings now live in Corvallis somewhere, with the rabbit hoarders daughter.

The other two cats at the rabbit house, the gray muted torti and the big black tux, with the right ear hematoma, I don't know or don't remember because I got told this evening I took one of them, the male, to be fixed years ago.   I got cats fixed for these folks before I took the three teen boys to be neutered, indirectly.

I was helping a woman with cats she fed around her place.  That woman had a backyard shed full of Guinea Pigs she was breeding.  The rabbit hoarders then bred Guinea Pigs too, and they knew one another, as fellow GP breeders I guess.  So the first woman brought me the second woman's three cats to take to be fixed too. One of those cats was Victor, the black tux they still have.  They told me that today.  That first woman moved to Coos Bay and started S/nipped, a spay neuter clinic, and I assume no longer breeds Guinea Pigs.  People change.  And some people really really change.

In the meantime, I went and picked up two of the cats, including Boots, whose crusty ears and face might or might not be ringworm.  Probably is, with my luck, which means he'll be here awhile since nobody wants to touch that.   I no longer have a black light to check for sure.  Mine broke.  I'm hoping Heartland can at least do the Woods Lamp scan, outside if need be, to keep the shelter free of the spores, if that's what it is.  Wouldn't surprise me any.  But it could also be severe flea dermatitis going on, or bacterial skin infection, FIV, or any one of a number of things.

Missy, the muted torti, drools and likely has tooth resorption going on.   She's supposedly spayed, and the people think that because she showed up five years ago and there have not been any kittens.

Later I went back and picked up the third cat, Victor, whom, I am told, is one of the cats I took to be fixed through the other woman, before she moved to Coos Bay.  That would have been close to seven years ago then and it was probably done at Countryside.  I'll have records.  Maybe even his photo from seven years ago.  Victor looks healthier than the other two, that's for sure, outside of a severely deformed, via hematoma, right ear, which only gives him character.  He looks somewhat like Funny Face too, which makes me smile.

Boots no longer looks gorgeous and innocent like he does in the photo above, when he was so young and at that point, cared for.

He's two years old now, and looks 8 and tired too.

Missy, the muted torti.  You can see she has ear mite issues.  Look at the darker hair atop her nose and below it down to her chin.  I am not sure if that is natural or not.  Thinking the latter, thinking ringworm with hair regrowth, maybe, or drool and nasal drainage stains. But, she is also dark eye lined and if you look, she has a dark line running along her gums on her lower jaw.  She just may be uniquely colored.

Missy can be seen at 1:38 in the yard, in this KGW news report when the rabbits were removed.

The reporter was quite concerned about her health then.  After looking up this report online, to compare her to now, I don't think she had the dark staining above her nose and below it and on her chin. That's happened since then?  If any of you click that link and see the video story at KGW on the rabbits, and see Missy, the cat, see what you think, if she had the dark stains around her mouth, and under her nose then.  Say what you think in the comments.  Thanks!

The above two photos are of Victor, the third cat, and looks like he came from a different planet than the other two.  He's fat and appears healthy, by comparison.  He is allegedly about 8 or 9.  Guess I got him fixed about seven years ago, maybe seven and a half years ago. I know he visits my yard, because I still confuse him and Funny Face.   He didn't hang out much with the other two.  His brother whom I took to be fixed also years ago was fairly recently hit and killed on Marian street, they told me.   Victor is a handsome sweet cat and that curled crunched hematoma ear only makes him more adorable.  He is outgoing, but not aggressive.  He's fantastic!

Heartland will check all three over tomorrow.  I think that might cost $120.  Two are already long fixed thanks to Poppa Inc. and me.  How will I pay?  I don't know.  I'm not thinking, am I?  Just with my heart.  Hoping it works out in the end.

I'm not sure who will take the lead with these three, am hoping Heartland, but probably that won't happen if they've got ringworm.  I hope its not me, because nobody is going to donate to help I doubt, not to me.  They would if it was a big group.  Safehaven got lots of community support with those rabbits.  Those rabbits were put up for adoption the very next day.  These cats, at least two of them, have health issues that might take a few months to resolve.  That's not so glamorous, is it?

So Long Summer

I said goodbye to summer a month ago.  Then it came roaring back, with some fall issues attached.

Now the news said enjoy your last day of niceties, because the rain will be here to stay tomorrow.  Ok.  If you say so.

Foggy this morning.  Fog means sun once it burns through.  Unless you live on the coast.  The fog can last all winter, when its not raining or windy.

I used to live on the coast.  I grew up on the coast of Oregon.  I thought 72 degrees was a heat wave back then.  Now 72 degrees doesn't cut the mustard.  72 degrees feels like winter coming now that I live in the valley.

We did all the wrong things as kids, I can see now, according to the news and the safety police.  We dared the waves to knock us off the end of the jetty in a big storm.  It was Oregon sport to clamor out to the jetty ends and lean forward in the wind with our arms straight out and let the waves slam us.

We made rafts out of driftwood.  I remember when the tidal current took us once.  Towards the open sea.  The raft we'd built was sound, but our parents screamed from the beach to jump and swim.  My older brother was the last to do so.  They yelled at him to take off his jacket.  I still remember he didn't do that and his awkward leap into the estuary current and my heart pounding for him.  I remember that gold jacket.  He was a good swimmer and made it easily to shore.

We dammed up creeks running through the sand to the sea.  We dug deep holes and buried each other.  We put messages in bottles and threw them as far out as we could trying to get them beyond the waves to give them a better chance to head off to countries and peoples unknown to us, in the days before computers and google maps.

We beach combed for agates and petrified wood and entire, not broken, sand dollars and Japanese glass fishing floats.

We made whips of washed up kelp and drug them behind us, leaving snake like trails in the sand on the beaches we walked barefoot.

I haven't been to the coast in a long long time.  Unless you count the two trips to Astoria, to the affordable clinic, with cats needing dental work.  I was too tired on both trips to be anything more than barely functional.  Too tired to enjoy anything more than a good nap in the sand.

When I used to take cats clear down to the Coos Bay clinic, sometimes I'd spend the day at Sunset Bay beach.  But mostly there too I simply slept on the sand, exhausted from the roundup and the drive and the drive to come back home the same day.

I'd like to go again, to the beach.  I remember going years back, and cresting the Coast Range, headed down, car windows open and feeling a surge of excitement the moment the air smell turned to salt and sea.

It doesn't seem right if its sunny on the beach in Oregon.   It's windy, that's how it is.  My skin grew up scrubbed red by blowing sand.  Or its fog so thick we called it pea soup.  You extend your arm and your hand vanishes.  Like that. Or it's storming and we liked that best.  Lots of Oregonians head for the beach when the big storms come through, to be part of it.  That's how we are. It's in us to do that.  Denying it is no good.

So today they say is the end of all things summer.  Tomorrow begins the long gray.   Shall I take off for the beach?

There it likely is sopped in and foggy for the day.  The distant fog horns will moan and mingle with cries from circling gulls in air dense with water and salt and history.

The Maple is turning.

Funny Face showed up this morning, begged wet food, which I gave him, and hissed at me, which is normal.  He must be ok.

Shady is doing well after dental surgery but still a little tired.