It's sad, but it has to be, not only because there is no group to pay all those spay neuter bills, but because I can't go into debt anymore helping out everybody and their mother.
I'm up shit creek with my car and having so many cats here to care for now. I'm down to two bags of dry cat food and one bag of wood pellet fuel I use for litter.
But worse yet, I've got three cats to return to Independence and my car may have decided this is the end too.
I get in it to return the KATA cats to Lebanon and it makes a thumping and growling sound at the rear end. I think I'm dragging something maybe, maybe a litter box I forgot was out there, that I was cleaning. But there's nothing under the car.
I try to pretend its ok, and drive off, to return the KATA cats to Lebanon, but the car is vibrating and making strange noises and feels like something is impeding its motion. I have no idea what is going on. It starts and runs but its not running normal. I can't see anything under there, and can't figure out what could have suddenly happened like that. Is it because I've been running the air conditioner I think. Or the the fact its been low on transmission fluid, although I added some.
Or is the leaking rear main seal suddenly leaking lots instead of just some?
I'm concerned about driving to Independence. Those people don't have a car to come get their own cats. But what if I get stranded, with cats, in this heat? I'm going to empty my car of everything before I go, in case I have to leave it out there somewhere. It's 36 miles one way. I better wear shoes I can walk in.
I'm also concerned about my ability to survive. I can't get what I need to live and support these cats without a car here. I can't believe it would do this today.
The End has come, for me and my self appointed job. Forced retirement. No fanfare, nothing at all, just suddenly its all gone.
But my car, what are the chances it would die the same day? Call it quits. Give it up. Say "enough". The same day?
What? That's too Twilight Zone.
UPDATE: I took the car to a repair shop today, a shop recommended by that reporter who did a story on me awhile back. She did a story on this man also. He got out of prison, was homeless, started that shop with the help of the homeless shelter. He quickly diagnosed the problems the car experienced yesterday that caused me concern--a shot right rear wheel bearing. That accounts for all the symptoms of yesterday. Next Tuesday, that will be replaced and the rear main seal repaired. It's leaking too much oil now. It will be spendy, because of the labor (10 hours) on the rear main, but he's giving me a good break and I'm throwing in a cat neuter. (his cat needs fixed)
I did make it to Independence, with the three freshly fixed girls, and asked to see Da Vinci, formerly Mikey, again. I was astounded. After all, he'd only been there 24 hours. She gives him kisses and he gives her kisses. She lets him roam out of the cage and he lays with her on the bed, kneads and demands petted. He still will get feisty and go at her but she is firm with him, tells him no and he has to go back in the cage when he does that. He ran over and rubbed against my legs. I was flabbergasted. And it made me cry like a baby. A cage like the one I gave her, works so well, even to introduce successfully completely tame cats to a household. It gives a cat a security zone. Heartland gave me that cage. It was in pieces but I rigged it together and modified it over the last year that I've had it. I've used it over and over and now it moves on with a cat who really never had a chance. So I thought. Until today.
You should have seen him. You should have seen him!
I don't know what I expected today, the last day of my ability to round up cats. I hoped someone would acknowledge me I think, or something. Guess I hoped for some love thrown my way, maybe a call from family, I don't know. I got one call, from a Corvallis woman, offering help with transport, if I couldn't get the cats back, and then she told me thanks for what I've done for cats. I have only met her twice and e-mailed with her for a few months. That was nice.
And then I felt ridiculous for thinking that way. And I cried when I finally was able to get to Independence to return the three girls and saw Da Vinci already happy and loved.
The problem of feline overpopulation continues. When I returned the KATA cats, that over worked volunteer, with a garage full of kittens, asked me to take one boy back to his foster home, with the woman who initially called me about Blueberry and her siblings in the junk pile. I'd gotten a ton of cats fixed in the neighborhood then, all of the unfixed cats fixed. But now, new people moved into the junker house by the street, same house that was full of coccidia kittens with the old tenant and dogs thrown out back and never noticed. New tenants breed cats and pitbulls. Two unfixed females there and two litters. She said one kitten crawled into a tail pipe and rode all the way to Walmart before they found it. Now they call it "Miracle".
The real miracle would be if they stopped breeding and a little kitten didn't have to ride to walmart in the tail pipe of a car. They've already handed over three of the kittens to be fostered by KATA's Lebanon volunteer, although they are with the neighbor now.
I saw two unfixed cats at least on the Lebanon volunteer's short street. Probably three. A little tabby, likely a female. A tame Lynx Point, probably owned by new people on the block. And then a feral Siamese mix boy, creeping around, spray marking and lonely.
Craigslist is popping out with free kitten ads. Those kittens will likely be adopted by like minded people who will let them breed or dump them when they're not kittens anymore.
I can't let myself look because I'm out of the game. There's not a damn thing I can do about it anymore.
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