Bed Frame in Use

The bed frame, I must say, is completely splendid. I did a magnificent job. The color is frighteningly gorgeous and happy. I sleep like the rock of ages upon my creation. Except last night, when I fell asleep on the CC (craigslist couch). I fell asleep on the CC at 6:30 p.m. I woke up vibrating in cold, with Miss Daisy on my face, at 2:30 a.m. and could not get back to sleep.

Sam widely sprawled, atop the mattresses atop the bed frame.

The Veterans Center's Coveted Jobs

In other news, Lebanon got the hotly sought after veterans center for Oregon. I figured they would get it, being centrally located, almost exact middle of the state, not far off I5.

I was sad for my brother because Lebanon got it. Because if the southern Oregon location had got it, it might have been some work for his company. I talked to him about it a few weeks ago and he said they had no chance, partly because the area where he lives is so poor that they could not come up with funds the community must contribute and that considered city is not centrally located at all. Here, it will mean higher property taxes to pay for it.

The veterans need these hospitals. The jobs that it will create will be government jobs. Federal jobs I guess. Either way, any government job these days pays more in benefits, like health care, vacation time, and retirement than most private sector jobs. I bet lots of people will be trying to get them, and even trying to switch, say from being an aid at a private nursing home or hospital, to there, because the pay and benefits should be far better for the same work.

I worked as a nurse's aid when I was younger, when I was in college. It is very very hard work, hard on the back especially, since often you are lifting dead weight--human bodies, without any mechanical aids to do it. It's really hard to lift limp human bodies. You might not think that until you try doing it.

Nurses' aid work is also very very stinky and sad. Mainly, on the night shifts I worked, you were cleaning up human poop and urine, often diarrhea, and often there were not enough aides on and not even enough supplies. Nursing homes then, maybe still, were terrible that way, for low staff levels and no supplies. You didn't even get to wear gloves for cleaning up human waste all night. I bet that has changed by now.

It was sad work because of the old people, many just stared at the walls or jabbered quietly in deep dementia. Most got no visitors, and laid in bed all day, and were turned, from one side to the other, every few hours. Often they would moan all day.

Many of the aides were devious and would steal from anyone they could, mostly from patients, but also from visitors or they would try to steal drugs meant for patients. This still goes on.

An acquaintance with a relative in a nursing home, bought a tv for another patient there, who did not have one. That patient died and my acquaintance went to retrieve the TV and the family, who had never visited their relative, had taken the tv. She was told if a patient has no relatives or friends watching out for them, they get stolen from.

One thing I decided after working in those places is that I never ever want to end up in a nursing home. I would sure hope someone would just lay me out in the mountain snow before putting me in a nursing home, or shove me off a cliff, if I couldn't jump, or put a bullet to my brain. These are all far better more dignified ends. I do not want to waste away, my last days, in one of those places. Hunter Thompson had the right idea.

I haven't heard from my brother since that conversation I had with my younger one about the VA center. I try not to worry about his company. He's had to lay off most of his employees. He remains hopeful. I worry, because if he goes bankrupt or something, I could lose this house to live in, that I rent from him, and be living in my car somewhere, if my car keeps running that is. It's got a lot of miles on it, so I think about that, too, and want to keep it running in case I have to live in it at some point.

I wish the economy would pick up so my brother could find jobs to bid on. Then I wouldn't think about having to live in my car one day again. It stays on my mind, as it is, now. I could live in that rest area where I sleep, when I take cats in, up at the Portland clinic. It's not too bad there and there are restrooms to use. Lots of people live there off and on.

I just keep an eye out, on places I might be able to camp out, if that bad thing happens. And I keep searching for things that are going to be built in the future, so I can let my brother know, if he doesn't already, which he usually does, in case its something he can bid to build. He's a good builder. I worry most about my cats if something like that should happen.

My older brother told me last time he e-mailed, and the e-mails are always just brief infrequent responses, so it's hard to really tell anything, that his boss might be trying to sell his company to save it, then he doesn't know what would happen with his job. Lots of angst out there.

Both my brothers have kids who will graduate from school this year. My older brothers' daughter will graduate from high school and my younger brothers' son will graduate from college in Eugene. Unfortunately, I never really got to know my two nieces and one nephew, being in the mental health system while they were growing up. I only got to meet them a handful of times.

I love my brothers and I don't want them to lose their jobs. I don't hear from them routinely, so my worries may be nothing. I don't see them often either. I try to conjure up what they look like in my mind, but if it has been a year or more, I can't.