My First Imaginery Friend--Osama Bin Laden

Well, I decided to befriend Osama Bin Laden. Osama is going to be my very first imaginery friend. I need somebody I can lecture. He certainly needs some lecturing. Match made in, well, the depths of my twisted mind.

Here's how it went today:

Phone rings. "Ahhh, damn it..can't I ever get any peace?" I mumble and grumble as I search for the offending gadget. "Hello."

"Hello. God willing, I'd like to adopt a kitten."

"Who is this? You sound like you're talking down in a hollow cave or something."

"This is Osama Bin Laden. I contacted you earlier about adopting a kitten. I called myself Osama Ben Stiller, so you may not have recognized me for who I am."

"You're kidding me, right? Osama Bin Laden?" I turn to the six or seven cats sleeping on my bed, laughing uproariously, and say "This dude says he's Osama Bin Laden, the scarey terrorist guy, and he wants to adopt a kitten." I can't contain my giggles.

"OK, Osama. What are you looking for in a kitten? A calico? Maybe an orange tabby? Do you rent or own your own cave?" I crack myself up sometimes.

I turn to my cats again and comment, "Boy, I'd never adopt an unfixed kitten to this guy!"

"Well, I'd like to come over and see what you have."

"You're here? In America? No Way! What the.......bleeping f**k?"

"You should not swear. It is unbecoming and an offense worthy of death."

"Well bring your beheading knife then, when you come looking to adopt a little kitten and let me tell you, Osami, you are a man who could use some kitten love. And by the way, I have pepper spray and I am not afraid to use it!" My cats seem to nod in agreement on that one.

"I will be there in one minute."

I turn to my cats, with eyes wide, "Man, I should clean up or something." I hate it when kitten adoptors come over and I've not even had time to clean the litterboxes.

I think to myself, 'Jiggles, the tabbical with ringworm all over her would be perfect for him.'

To be continued.....