So Long Sam

 I woke up yesterday morning late, in a brain muddle.

I made coffee and started doing chores before I realized my shadow was missing---Sam.

Lately he's beside me day and night--a whisper of his former self, in weight and energy.

I can barely feel him when he sleeps atop me now.  

He's been failing for a year or more.  Old age, plus his kidney function went way down.   I've kept him alive artificially you might say with sub cu fluids the frequency of which went way up in the last few weeks as his failure grew more pronounced.

He never reached the wobbling stage however, so I thought he had more time. 

When I found him yesterday morning, he was in a coma like state in a carrier and passed very peacefully before noon.

I went to the lake to try to get perspective which can be hard to do here, surrounded by cats with all their own needs.  Such is life in a kitty nursing home.   

When I came home I buried him neath the Butterfly Bush that all things living seem to love.

The Butterfly Bush is the Tree of Life here, the center of all activity and desire for bees, birds, butterflies and neighborhood cats who lounge summers in its shade.

So long my dear head bumping Sam.  He had to head bump me even the night before he died as was his way.  

I never knew Sam's real age, since he came here as an adult, one of a couple dozen abandoned when people suddenly left their trailer in Millersburg, kicking out the cats and leaving their dogs locked inside.  Someone broke in to help the dogs, but as often is the case, the cats suffer silently and mostly unseen.   I ended up with Sam and Oci here their entire lives.  Sam had the bad habit of peemarking, which created an obvious adoption barrier.   Peeman Sam, I called him.    My brother wanted to adopt him for a long time but never did.

Oci died awhile back of a heart attack.   

Sam had many many friends here.  Buffy and Mops, the brother sister, both now deceased, adored him. Mums and Juno were maybe his closest still living cuddle buddies.  They too are now elderly.

Sam could be a holy terror, a first class asshole, and also sweet as pie.  Like all of us can be, I suppose.  He was athletic and forgiving and easy going.  Or am I only remembering now his good traits?  Slinko, his arch nemisis, who was insanely jealous of Sam's easy going manner, confidence and number of friends, seems most affected by his passing, as if he feels responsible.   

So Long Sam!