My Freak Show Knee

 I woke up yesterday morning very early to a shock.

My knee would not work.   It wouldn't support weight and I could not straighten it nor bend it from its position.   It was freakish!

It would support my weight if I maintained the near 90 degree angle and used my toe.  But not otherwise.  If I tried to straighten or bend it beyond the angle it was in,  I would get pain so severe I'd scream.  But if I kept it at its desired angle, all was good.

To begin with, when I woke up that way, I had a terrible time of it, unable to get from my bed to anywhere.  I considered rolling on the floor, but wondered if I could get up again, once on the floor.  I was finally able to move to my computer desk, using back and forth movements with the foot on my good leg.   I sat in my rolling computer desk chair then, pulled myself on it to the garage door, hung on to various things there, including handrails by the door, and got my crutches.  After that I was fine to get around at least.

I had not injured my knee and my knee had been working fine the day and night before.  I just woke up that way.   Man, I must have had some kind of dreams!   I remember only one slight tinge from my knee, when I exited my car the night before.  But after that, it was fine.  I went over and chatted with one neighbor, then took care of the cat of another before I went to bed.

My knee now did not hurt if I maintained it at the angle it wanted to remain in.  I could even put weight on it if I maintained that angle, but that was an awkward proposition, using it at 90 degrees.  Nonetheless I did, during the morning, to try to clean the litter boxes.   I knew I couldn't drive my clutch car now.

A friend came over and dropped me off at Urgent Care, where I remained for many hours.  I finally got in to see someone but there was more waiting around then and then it was rather brutal.  The woman asked me what I wanted them to do for me.  Like what?  You are the doctor.  Fix this!   My knee was a freak show.  I felt it had something in the joint locking it up, like my middle finger locks down sometimes and won't stretch out unless I pull it right.  I thought they could probably just manipulate it free of itself.  Or withdraw fluid.  Or put a cortisone shot into it.  

But no.  Now you have to get referrals to get any of that kind of thing done.  Those referrals with insurance approval can take a long time.  

She wanted to know how I injured it clear back a year ago.  I have no idea why this would make any difference.  Was it curiosity?  My knee hasn't hurt since November or December of last year.  Why interogate me about that injury.  I dutifully told her but figured they must be thinking I was there for drugs.  

I once again wished I hadn't bothered to seek medical help.   I told her I live alone, take care of a lot of rescued cats and that my car is a clutch and I need my leg to work at least partly so I can drive, to get groceries and things I need, that I live in the burbs, miles from any grocery store.  It was my attempt to show why I was worthy to get aid for this bizarre knee issue.  To this she retorted she wasn't social services.

Oh boy, I thought.  I'll need to figure it out on my own, I thought.  

It's like taking a beating to go to the doctor.  

Anyhow, since I didn't have an injury, something just happened in the night, and I bet something moved into my joint and is locking it.  I can just guess at what's wrong.  I really thought that doctor would just say, oh, I know about locked knee joints and how to unlock them and do it.   That was naive of me.

   If my knee can suddenly mysteriously lock, I would think it could also unlock, like my middle finger does.  I joke about that finger, that it locks up like it does from a lifetime of over use.  Haha.  So far my knee hasn't unlocked, but today I can get it a little bit straighter.   The odd angle it demands-- omg now I've begun making jokes about my freak knee with its mind of its own. 

The depression overcame me after I got home to think I had another lengthy painful debilitating issue, that makes it harder to survive that I would not be able to go to the lake again with my kayak.  Takes hours to just clean the litter boxes from crutches.  How I'll get food, I don't know that either yet.   Just hoping for the best and that my joint unlocks soon.