Saturday, May 10, 2014

Hard to Quit

It's hard for me to stay out of trying to help people and cats, since my job doing this very thing, ended almost a year ago now.   I've been lost since then, trying to find a way to spend my time and feel useful.

I got involved trying to place those two Siamese over in Lebanon, whom a friend is fostering.   No rescue I know is open to take them.  Last night, however, after drinking one beer, but feeling it, because I rarely ever drink, I get a call from a cat woman I know.  She's going on about someone who can take them tomorrow (meaning today), transport them up to WA state, but she doesn't know this woman.

I couldn't comprehend why she would send cats to another state with someone she doesn't know or expect me, at such late notice, to get it all together for the next morning, when I did not even have the cats.

 I tried to explain I don't have the cats and I don't send cats to people I don't know and that would be my friends decision, to check her out and decide.  But the woman hung up on me twice to take other calls and I gave up.  Too much pressure to turn over those cats now or she'd just send off three of hers.  So send off three of yours, I said, because I know she is anxious to place many of her own cats.

When someone is looking for other cats to send with an unknown person rather than send one's own, that often means they are uneasy with it.

She has not called again, after hanging up on me, when receiving yet another call.  That's ok.  I'm out of the loop now with those Siamese.  I will not get involved.  It was none of my business to get involved in the first place. I was being a busy body, because I'm so bored not working anymore.   I just couldn't keep out of it, wanting to help my friend find somewhere for them, wanting also to help those cats.

A friend wanted me to help one of the ferals she feeds too whom she felt was losing weight and looked bad.  So I did go up there and trap the cat for her, but I wasn't sure what she wanted to do about it after she had her.  I believe she expected me to take care of it, as usual.  In the end, I left the cat there, in her trap, and suggested she set up a cage for her, if that's what she wanted to do, but I had no idea what she wanted.  People want a cat helped but want me to do the work and take on the cost.  It's always been that way, why would things change.

So dutifully, I suggested she bring the cat here the next day, and she could spend the weekend on a vacation of sorts, here, fattening up, inside and warm.  The woman didn't come til late in the afternoon, however, and had a dinner date only an hour beyond.   In the end, I gave the cat wormer, eye meds, a vaccine, some other things, and sent her home.

  I had first told the woman she could pick her up then on Sunday, at which point the woman got angry, saying she had things to do on Sunday and she would have to cancel all those things, to pick up the cat, which was nonsense, since it wouldn't take much time at all, to come get her.

I've got to say "no" more, stand up for myself more, and probably cut some more ties.  People see me as someone to help them with what they need, but not as a human being.  I think that's what is going on, anyway, can't read minds.   I've got to get out of this mindset, for me, and so others don't see me that way either, until the automatic reactions in me to do these things stop. 

I'll get some more photos soon.  I know, bummer of a blog post and I'll probably remove it soon.

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