Sunday, January 10, 2010

Wasted Time

I wasted too much time today, in debating uselessly, making comments, under an inflammatory right wing youtube video. I decided to stop my political silence and make those comments. I'm tired of the hate is why, the ridiculous hate of each party towards the other.

Such hatred was part of my family growing up. My father ranted and raged then, like a Rush to be, and his hatred also fell on women, who he believed were made only for men to do with as they like, even though he was born of a woman and hated his own father for being the same way. His hatreds ruined my chance at a life. He spouted the values of Republicans compared to Democrats and yet he fondled his own daughter and made his own wife cry every single night.

I have two brothers. One is a liberal and one is a radical raging right winger. I love them both. I see the party hatreds of each other as something that split and destroyed a family--mine and destroyed most of my life. They cause judgemental and detrimental behaviors that need not be.

I just want to live my life now. I don't want to hate anybody. I am trying to reduce my judgemental behavior too. Why? Because I know now, we really aren't very important in this vastness of space and time. Because I want to cherish every day I can still breath. I wasted some of that time today on that inflammatory video, beneath which, the beast was unleashed in countless legions of people who hate Democrats and Obama. It was a forum friendly to such.

Some of the radical right seem bent on an American revolution and killing liberals. Yes, killing them, in the name of democracy. This makes no sense. Taking over a government by force removes all democracy from the picture.

I know most of these are angry radicals. They lost an election and they're mad. But I sense a much more dangerous element amongst these.

I hate this partisanship ripping our country apart and preventing any solutions to actual problems. I equate this ranting and raging behavior from both sides, the taunting when one side wins an election or passes a bill the other opposes, to school yard bully gang behavior, from both sides. Nothing ever gets accomplished. It's become just about winning, not about solving any problems of our country.

I think I'm going to say bye bye to voting. Like that tax measure. Will it hurt business? I don't know. I know we're not using money very efficiently in Oregon government.

I know that because I have been an example of this waste, bamboozled then forced into the mental health system when young, run by the county funded by the state and feds. Forced to take handfuls of powerful expensive drugs daily, which caused me so many problems, physically and mentally, that more expenses occurred to taxpayers and more problems to me personally, compounded when more drugs and labels were added.

Profits were to be had from me. They went to drug companies, state workers who kept their jobs because myself and thousands upon thousands of others like me, were in the system, shrinks made out like thieves.

Many people benefited, except for the person supposed to have been helped---me! I wound up further damaged, abused on psyche wards, spinal cord injury from being beaten by staff on a psyche ward, most of my life thrown out, sacrificed.

What idiocrisy! My life is testament to systematic government idiocrisy and waste, big time!!!!!

I can't make sense out of politics or much of anything else these days. The tax hikes, who would they help or hurt? I don't know. I'm not voting. I'm too confused by the hype on both ends of it. I can't find the truth inside all the hype so I'm not going to vote either way. I'm not interested anymore in being part of the useless side taking cold war between the extremists of the two party system.


  1. it's such a mess..i just try to keep myself and household going along happily. i know we don't really make a difference in the gov't end. i've been reading a lot more about the middle east and other religions including their conflicts and it does make me appreciate when i live- luckily. that keeps me in better balance, reading cnn and bbc about world events. so many die so much violence out there. we are truely lucky (at least i've come to think that) could always change at any time though so i'm always waiting for the shoe to drop.

    i stopped believing after the gore election. i still have a re-eclect gore sticker on my car. truely a giant shame of the government.

    that's alot for the monrning :)

  2. Your household seems extremely happy, and laid back, Kate. I admire your ability to keep it that way, and not be distracted by unimportant things. We are lucky to live where things aren't as bad as other places. The middle east, how terrible to be born a woman there! I feel lucky all the time.