Saturday, August 29, 2009

The Bengal Colony

The Bengal colony is pretty much another collector. There are probably 30 cats there, hard to tell. Six have now been fixed, and last night I grabbed two of three kittens with huge worm bellies. Their ears were also impacted in earmite debris.

By this morning, the two Bengal mix kittens were pooping out massive amounts of dead roundworms, after I wormed them last night. But wormer costs money and so does flea treatment, which I am almost out of again and these costs should be on that latest collector. They're up being fixed today.

Some other people KATA referred to me, trapping cats their elderly parents feed, took up the Bengal mix kittens with three adults they'd caught, in traps I loaned them, to be fixed in Wilsonville. I also provided them flea treatment for those three adults, since they are going to a clinic that requires it prior.

They had also caught two little kittens and thought they were at least two pounds. They weren't, just a little over a pound. They want me to take them or find someone who will. I told them "no". There's usually something of a threat about what will happen to them if I don't involved. This time it was just, "Well, we'll just turn them loose again." Fine, they can do that.

I am so lonely I can barely face a new day. I do not have anyone around here who values me beyond being a slave at their bidding.

I intend to move out of this area, to have a chance at finding friends and to get away from the people here, who hand out my number like I'm a whore. I don't think my brother is going to ever sell this house. I just don't think he'll ever get around to it or have time or sees it as important. So I have to make a move. He can rent this house out.

The money used to buy it was supposed to be my share of the estate, although I was written out of my parents will and rent this house from my brother. I have no control over the sale of the house, however, since I do not own it and my brother lives quite a distance away. So it's an awkward situation that probably holds no remedy except for me to just move on.

It won't be easy to move without any money and I never have any money. My clothes are currently in ruin too. But you get one life and I may as well take a chance at a new area, rather than live here in something of a hell, that hell being composed of lonliness combined with the only alternative to lonliness I have come up with(other than the ways others deal with it here--drugs and alcohol) and that is doing the cat thing. But that means being used like slave labor here in Linn County, to fix everybody's cats for free, pushing me deeper every day into financial and emotional ruin. What a dilemma.

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