Thursday, August 06, 2009

Car Dead

I don't know what happened with my car. While driving to pick up the cats, there was a horrible clunk. I thought I must have a flat tire. I got out at the vet clinic and looked and looked. Then, it wouldn't start at first, when it did, it vibrated horribly and much worse in reverse.

I did try to come home, but suddenly several warning lights came on and it quit along with violent pitching and vibrations. Hmmmm. I looked for any leaks and found none. Oil level normal. Plenty of water. I think something happened with the transmission or something. It's dead.

I have to have it towed. I hitched a ride home with the two cats, one from Geary street and then the Siamese from the collector's place, with a stranger. He even took me to the house where the male cat belonged to deliver him home, which was kind. Then he dropped me off at my place with the Siamese. I already miss my car. I don't know what to think. I wonder what is wrong. I will truly go nuts here without a way out, or even to get what I need for the cats. Boy. I thought my life was going to be easier for awhile.

After analizing the codes being thrown out on the dash display, via the users manuel, I have determined this might be minor. It might be that the traction on off relay or solenoid or something is turning that feature on and off at a rapid pace, failing in other words, which would result in the clunking and severe vibration. My brother suggested it could be possible to just disconnect that function unless it is tied into others. I never use it. I'd even forgotten it existed. Hopefully the mechanic can figure it out. Doesn't explain the trouble starting.

I suppose my car was supposed to break down. I don't know why. I'm not in the know.

Maybe it is the motor home fire on I5. Maybe somehow, if my car had run and not broken down, I would have caught fire with that motorhome burning now, I'm thinking. Maybe. Well you just never know.

I'm too little in this universe to see the big picture. So the car broke and the world hasn't ended. I'm less than a molecule in the vastness. Sure I'd like to be a mobile molecule, but, I don't run this show, especially right now. I have no position of power in this universe or even over that darn car.

It's kick back, feet up, time.

Kick back time, without a car, has already turned to some worry. I live miles from any grocery store. Carrying litter home miles walking would do me in the very fist time. I hope the car fix is possible and something I can afford. I miss it already. Without a car onc is fixed in place. There's little one can do without a car except walk around city streets looking for something to do. I can't even get what I need to maintain the cats left here without one. It is sobering to realize how dependent I am on transportation, if I don't want to sit here staring at a wall the rest of my days, that is. I do not even have a working bike. I don't live in an area that has a store nearby.

If I needed to go to the doctor, my doctor is in Corvallis! I know that is stupid, for me to have a doctor in another town, but when I was trying to find another doctor willing to take medicare, when my old doctor quit, I waited a long time anyhow, then had only one choice open.

I don't have any idea how to get around without a car. I know there is a bus that goes to Corvallis, primarily designed for student transport between OSU and Linn Benton. Taking a bus is a time consuming endeavor to get anywhere, but there is that possibility, to get to Corvallis, then taking their city buses up to where my doctor's office is, if I had to. I used to ride the Corvallis City bus system when I lived in Corvallis. It's a frustration most of the time, or was, due to lengthy waits and the number of transfers needed to get a relatively short distance. But one must do what one must do.

Well, a lot of people live without cars and I was one of them for a couple of decades. Limits a person range and possiblities and recreation. I didn't like the years and years I spent without transportation.

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