Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Friendship Whores

My own lonliness got me to thinking about the need for a new profession out there---friendship whores.

These would be people very good at pretending. You'd pay a fee for them to pretend to be your friend for a certain amount of time. Or even a relative, an ex-husband, ex-boyfriend, cousin, son, daughter, anyone you wanted.

Say it might cost $50 to buy a friendship whore who would go out to lunch with you and chat like your best girlfriend, gossiping and catching up. I would be able to choose from male friendship whores that look and talk like my brothers. I would pay a fee and these two guys would "surprise" me, on my birthday and take me to a movie, and we'd laugh about our childhood antics, that sort of thing. When setting up the appointment, a person would submit a one page summary of history they want the friendship whore to know, prior to the engagement.

With our isolated society and with so many of us out there alone in the world, this is a needed profession.

I wonder if this type of whoring would be considered illegal and seedy too?

Possible company mottos: "They say you can't put a price on friendship. We can!"
"When you have nobody, we'll be your somebody. For a price."

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