18 Cats Fixed This Week

18 cats were fixed this week at a cost of $574 to Poppa Inc. I got donations of $140 to cover some of the expenses from caregivers. The $574 is approximately half my monthly allowance with Poppa for fixing.

So I have to slow down on taking in cats. Too bad for the hordes of unfixed cats out there and for the demanding irresponsible freaks of Linn County, who refuse to take responsibility for any costs in fixing their own cats and call me night and day, wanting their cats fixed for free right now.

It is difficult for me to maintain any optimism any more. I live in a city of concrete, crime, drugs, drinking, huge vehicles racing around, fast food restaurants and crazy driving.

I suppose it's ok for city type people, especially those who like inner city style living. It's not ok here for someone who always has gained comfort from a forest. I have been depressed since the move. It was a mistake to move to Albany but I had no choice in the matter after the eviction by the slumlady of Corvallis.

I am grateful to have a roof over my head. But a roof a life does not make. I need to be able to get away, when stressed or sad over witnessing too much animal abuse, and I don't have a getaway in Albany. I have no outlet for release of the stress. So it's been building. I don't want to die here.

I feel trapped and hopeless and I don't see a way out. I try to stay positive, but everything hurts on my body, I can't keep up this house and yard, my cats are stressed still being confined inside, without a cat yard, and I just can't seem to physically get the work done to finish that.

And I won't even go into the mentality here in Linn County, towards personal responsibility, fairplay and respect for life. These qualities are lacking among many residents in this county. Maybe the county attracts the same type of mentality, so people can feel comfortable among those sharing this mindset. Maybe that's why things are so bad here.

I don't know, but I do know there are so many suffering animals here, as a result of the mindset. I can't change the mindset. I've nearly killed myself trying, in regards to people fixing their own cats and getting as many fixed as I can using Poppa funds, primarily, but even transporting cats far and wide, from here, to utilize FCCO clinics and any other avenue possible.

I'm getting old. I'm very lonely and tired. I've helped a lot of people and cats. I need to help myself now. I want to move somewhere nice. Maybe back to Corvallis. I don't know.