Not a surprise anymore.
The cats are very playful this morning.
I do try to get cats fixed because it needs to be done. Someone needs to do it when people don't do it themselves. It's about the only skill I have so I exploit that skill for good. I enjoy doing it, at least when I don't have to fight people on getting their own cats fixed, or take abuse.
I don't really know what has happened to a feeling of personal responsibility and pride in solving something oneself. Maybe it no longer exists. For example, when someone called wanting me to fund their cats vet visit for an illness and I said I did not have the funds to do that, she complained there were programs in Portland that would do that. I wanted to say, "Get out there, pick up cans, do some yard work, and you can do it, get the cat in to see a vet." I didn't say it. I only thought why do people believe things should be done for them, instead of finding a way to get it done. There is such a great sense of power in doing that, of accomplishment.
I'm not good at quitting anything. I want today to quit going out there, exposing myself to the horrors humans have inflicted on animals, and to more abuse from humans. Today I feel weak and teary eyed and yet I'm still making plans on who to catch next.
So it goes. I reach another milestone, if you count years of life, in a few days. Means almost nothing to me. I guess it should mean something to me but the only thing that means something to me is when my joints hurt or my fingers swell so I can't really move them. Age is that to me, but nothing else. Long ago, maybe my whole life, I was invisible, mainly, to other humans. I have no money, no good looks, no nice clothes, no power and so, in this world, this makes you virtually a ghost, if you have no close family. This is a treasured freedom. The physical signs of age, the wrinkled face and hands, the obviousness of my long departure from worshiped youthfulness, after life as a ghost, these things don't bother me.
Really proper snow now.
ReplyDeleteMore than proper snow south of Albany. Eugene, Roseburg, and all points east of I5 at higher elevations were a mess. Avalanches closed highway 20 between Sweet Home and Sisters, stranding motorists and closing a highway used by 5000 cars a day. That's the route I took up to my nephews wedding in January. That was just one road problem. Roofs have collapsed, massive numbers of power lines down and outages, other highways closed from trees falling across the road, massive numbers, oh well, just winter doing its thing.
DeleteI drove 65 miles yesterday in the snow. The roads were messy and slippery, and a trip that usually takes me 1 hour, ten minutes took me over two hours! But I made it safe and sound and the reward was a day with my grandchildren!
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm happy you made it safely there and got some fine time with your grandkids to make it worth the stress.
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