Thursday, April 27, 2017

Mangos and New Hobby

Spring clean up is burning through my veins today. In the process I ran across this poem I wrote many years ago. Yeah, I love mango's.

Why Can't I Eat a Mango on the City Bus

It's sort of a small town
In a kind of backward state
But it's really all these petty rules
That I just can't seem to tolerate.

Don't smoke! Don't jaywalk!
And you are damned to hell if you cuss!
But I am completely at a loss to know
Why I can't eat a mango on the city bus!

It being citrus and all
Vitamin C in every slice!
This bus driver swears they taste like turpentine
But to me they taste like paradise.

So I'd been over to Safeway one day
And found a nice ripe one on sale
I really was just going to walk on home
But it started pouring down rain mixed with hail.

So I crept onto the city bus
with my mango safely stashed.
"You smell that turpentine?" the bus driver asked.
"Naw, I think its Budweiser," and I pointed out the trash.
"You drivers sure know how to have fun," I winked.
"Take your seat!" she demanded,
"and shove that attitude up your ass!"

So I did, I took a seat
Way off to one side
And sat down to enjoy my Mango
and very last city bus ride.

That bus driver kept looking back
In her rear view mirror towards my side
She was sniffling at the air
And giving me the evil eye.

Next thing I know, the cops were on the bus
Yelling, "Get down, this is a raid!"
I tried to wipe my mouth off
Because I was pretty sure I'd been made.

"I just adore these city buses...
and well, you know, I almost never even eat."
That's what I babbled to those cops
as they yanked the remnants of my mango
from underneath the city bus seat.

I got a whole fistful of tickets
For innumerable infractions
And was hauled off howling by the SWAT team
and taken over to county corrections.

Because I had peeled my tropical fruit
with a deadly Swiss Army knife
They said "That's assault with intent
and you'll probably get ten to life."

I stood before that judge
(recalling not to cuss)
And pled, with ignorant heart:
"Why can't I eat a mango on the city bus?"

That judge broke out in smiles!
And said "So, you like them, too?"
They taste nothing at all like turpentine
Or any type of glue.

"I find you Guilty!"
I hope this sentence will be fitting!
You get....six months in Paradise!
All expenses paid by the city!"

"Yeah! All right!" I cheered.
"This justice system is great!"
No dark and dreary prison cell for me!
a tropical beach will be my fate!"

The judge called after me,
"Hey, you might want this!"
And he tossed me a nice ripe mango
From behind his great big city desk!"

by Me!

What's my new hobby? I watch the slugs, who have come into the garage to get out of the rain and clean up dropped cat food pieces.

Do I need some sun or what?


  1. I thoroughly enjoyed your poem and the tale it told. I especially like the ending. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Mmmmm mangoes.
    My mother always insisted that they should be eaten in the bath. I am happy to lick the drips off...

  3. You need those words set to folk music, for sure! As for the video. Wow. That's pretty nasty. ~hugs~ And I throw snails to my tropical fish.

  4. Mango is a little too sweet for me, but they do go great in a hot sauce called Inner Beauty. ~grin~ Nice poem!