Tuesday, March 01, 2016

Thoughts on the Big 60 Birthday

So now I'm into my next decade.

I guess its no different being this old.

All my thoughts of doing something fell to the wayside when I woke stiff and sore, from carrying that cat tree from the car around and along the back yard of those Lebanon folks freshly bought house, up some steps and manhandling it inside the relocation cage set up for those three cats.   I can barely move today.

So I've been mostly in bed and when I walk, I moan and groan.  But I hope to be feeling better soon.  I knew there might be repercussions from carrying that thing.  I'd meant to put the hand cart into the car, then drove off without it.

I wish things were different, that I had girlfriends who'd take me out on the town or something on my big milestone birthday. And I them on theirs.  Like you read about, or see on TV.  I don't know if that really happens in the real world.  It is what it is.

  I've meant to move out of this valley.  I've not been able to form connections here.  Moving is difficult and expensive and I'll likely never leave the valley at my age and income.

So it is what it is.

I think facebook has made life even more isolated. It's just my opinion.

I can't even get up the motion to clean the cat yard litter boxes yet.  They're not out there using them so its no big deal.  Rain again here, lots of it.  Wind, too, but nothing like they said would hit unless it happened while I still lay in bed, not wanting to make the painful moves required to get out of it.  I spent the hours reading, and waiting for Aleve to work.

I enjoy reading in bed.  I read by flashlight.  Always have.  Never did get a reading light hooked up.

There's a break in the rain.  Birthday or not, bad back or not, I better get those litter boxes cleaned before the rain starts in again.

Story of my life:  cleaning up shit.

She sure was good at shit removal, they'll say, once I'm gone.

At least I was good at something, I'll scream back from beyond the grave.


I don't have any regrets over my life.

Despite my poverty and the harshness I've encountered I've had some great experiences.


Living in the shack up on a bluff in Alaska.  Plastic tarp roof.  Wood stove from the dump.  A town drunk, a town psycho, and an insecure short fat bald man helped me find that shack to live in and the wood stove at the dump.   My heroes!

Climbing mountains and backpacking alone in Alaska.

Trip with my brother to a Jimmy Buffet concert, now that was fun!

Laying on my back out on the tundra, watching northern lights and listening to wolves howling back and forth across the vastness.

Hearing Jacques Cousteau speak.

Trip to Hawaii with Julie from Brownsville.  Sure, we split immediately, but I then slept on the beach, snorkeled alone, ended up swimming and free diving with a pod of dolphins, boogie boarded for the first and perhaps last time in my life for over six hours, until I had to crawl out of the ocean.  Some kid told me I needed to rest and I told him hell no I wasn't going to rest because I might never get to do this again.

Paddling my raft at Waldo Lake on a 26 hour vacation....

I've had some good times and no regrets.


  1. Happy birthday.
    I am sorry that your body is reminding you that you worked too hard yesterday.
    And yes, you are good at shit removal. And also at stopping some metaphorical shit from going down. All those cats know.

    1. Yup, I am darn good at shit removal.

  2. Happy Birthday! You have had your own set of experiences that have made you who you are today--a good person doing important work. Of the ones you listed, I am most envious of laying on your back in the tundra, watching the northern lights, and listening to wolves. It sounds magical to me.

    1. That was way back in the early 80's on the Resurrection Pass Trail system on the Kenai. It made me feel wild and part of it.

  3. And best birthday wishes to you. We always celebrate birthdays with an evening meal out. These are main catch ups with friends, but I dislike celebrating my own birthday and when I reach the next big one in a couple of years, I plan to be away.

    It is a good thing to not have significant regrets and it is not like you have never done anything.

    1. It's an awkward thing, sort of like Christmas, the pressures of society, alone means loser, all that.

  4. The older we get, the more things we lose. Abilities, our looks, our hair, and our health. I truly believe energy IS wasted on the young. I got SO angry watching a 10 year old skipping and running off from her concerned father. All that energy and not one lick of sense how to use it.

    1. If only more energy came with age, it could be utilized for good then, not for the silliness of youth. Ha ha! I was never silly when young, grew up in a house where happiness was frowned upon, and not even music was allowed.

  5. You've already had a fantastic life... and I wish you a very Happy Birthday!... but I'm going to add... my life totally changed just before my 60th birthday and the last 15 years have been fantastic. Different... yes... but a life I never dreamed of. So... don't ever feel like the best is behind you... the best may be yet to come. No kidding! Much love and best thoughts!

    1. And you are now having the time of your life, Sharon. Thanks for the positive thoughts.

  6. What a tremendous Alaskan adventure... what an adventurous life altogether! Treat yourself to cake and ice cream when you're feeling better; sending warm thoughts your way.

    1. I was young, is my excuse for the Alaska stuff, and lucky to survive the things I pulled up there.