Thursday, November 28, 2013

Bring On the Black Friday Brawls!

Black Friday is here!

My favorite time of year!

Are you frenzied yet?  ARE YOU FRENZIED YET?

I hope Black Friday shoppers are whipped up.  If not, what is wrong with you?  Drink a liter of Mountain Dew or a couple Starbucks espressos on an empty stomach.   I want to watch frenzy tomorrow!  I want to watch carnage!

I don't shop for bargains on Black Friday.  I have no time, OK I have no money, for that.

I'm above that (because I'm broke).

I am way better than that (because I'm broke).

I love Black Friday Brawls.

Funny, I don't like to watch any other blood sport.

But I can't wait to see brawls break out in Walmart lines.  Even better at a Fred Meyer!  Five Stars for a Macy's stampede!

Stampedes are the Holy Grail of Black Friday violence.  I can only hope to see Iphone uploaded vids, from every angle, of a classic Black Friday Stampede!

A FB friend said this:  "I think broke folks like us seem to enjoy seeing those who can afford (or do even if they can't afford) to shop knock the shit out of one another trying to give the greedy retailers their money. Cheap entertainment. Sick, broke and laughing."

Early bird Black Friday sock sales at Fred Meyer?  What?  Socks?  Really?  

But....I start thinking, who would win a Black Friday brawl if it was between the Fred Meyer early bird sock shoppers and the Best Buy adult children supported by their parents tent line campers.  That would be something to see!   I'm not as pathetic as those line tent campers.  I feel good about that.

Black Friday Brawls.  They give the bitter broke something to look forward to besides heaven.

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