Thank you so much to all who helped find this placement, supported me in my attempts to find a home with words of encouragement and to those who paid part of their vet bill. Makes me very happy.
I've been fighting leg, hip, shoulder and back pain, on my right side, doing too much lately, painting the house, wrestling large metal objects to recycle for some money, at the recyclers, and those forty pound unwieldy bags of wood pellet fuel I use for cat litter do not get any lighter or easier to load and unload. Also been doing inside the house exercises I found online, supposedly help create back and stomach muscle to support the spine but instead seem to be irritating those back leg nerves.
I better couch potato it for awhile.
I figured I could rest up when its pouring outside, which its supposed to start doing again tomorrow.
My right leg has never been quite right. I had the back surgery after the major nerve was crushed, for maybe too long, that supplies my right leg. In the end, I'd lost right knee nerve reflex completely. I call it my loose knee, because it sometimes feels like it is falling apart and that to continue, I need to hold it together myself. My right leg for some reason wants to position so my right foot sticks out at 90 degrees from straight ahead. What is up with that I wonder. Like its hooked up wrong.
Getting old I guess. Falling apart I guess.
It's too long too, half inch longer than the left, at least.
I found a ballot I'd mislaid in my garage after checking my mail who knows when. I don't vote anymore. Isn't that shocking?
I've lived a long time and nothing has really changed in those decades I've lived, no matter who is in office. There are the same promises from this side and that side but nothing changes. It's that old Who song, "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss...". Guess I've taken it to heart now and I don't bother getting into it or believing politics or politicians can make things better. Sealing the deal was that sneaky little anti rescue bill slipped through the OR legislature this summer. I realized its all who wants what if they have power and they have money, to smooze with others similarly endowed, then they get what they want.
Too much money and influence from big money involved now. They're in their own little world, the power and money people. And I'm in mine.
So I shredded the ballot I found. I had not even known there was some election going on, and shredded the thought from my mind. I don't have any guilt not voting.
There are people now putting out nasty fliers in Portland decrying the fact disabled people or people on food stamps should be allowed to even live, let alone vote. Who next will they target? People over 40 and single but love kids? People under 30 with a disabled parent who once went to Disneyland? White people without facial hair who limp? Mixed race people who are also short? People with bad haircuts who do not have tattoos?
I've lived a rough tough life. I just want peace now, but if cornered I'll fight. That's still in me.
I don't see any reason to waste my time with politics, this side or that side, all the yelling and screaming and nastiness and nothing ever changes. Waste of time. Waste of life. I salute all the idealists out there, the people who don't walk the line or think the same as everyone else. In those people is our hope. The different people. The out of box thinking people. Ah well, enough of that.
One more thing, can't help myself. Right after I left the system, after being beaten, all that, on a psyche ward by staff, I thought I'd find comradship, friends in the psychiatric survivor movement. I was invited to join the board of a psyche consumer agency, state funded, out of Portland and did so, mainly because I was downtrodden, had been so abused much of my life, and really wanted some kind of "tribe" to be part of. However, two women employees of that agency, quit, and, sent out letters of resignation, with the reasons outlined, alleging gross misconduct by the director, and felt these should be addressed at the next board meeting.
So, even though I'd been evicted from my housing, since it had failed many inspections due to being a slum, and in pain from trying to move a waterlogged door that had collapsed from moisture content and nearly hit me when it did, I agreed to present the letters at the board meeting, at the urging of one board member in particular, who had traveled down from Portland to urge me to go. I figured alternative motives, but he assured me there were none and he would support me in presenting the letters.
He didn't. He remained dead silent as I presented them. The allegations included use of state car for private personal reasons; smoking pot in the state car, misuse of state cell phone for personal reasons....all the things railed against by these very same people when done by other agencies. I was soundly ridiculed, with board members, who were not in attendance, calling in to ridicule me, attack me personally instead of addressing the issues raised. The guy who had come down to urge I present them also attacked me. Wow. I left, handed my letter of resignation to them, as I left, and told each and every one of them present to never contact me again. The guy who allegedly committed the grievances in the letter, got an even higher paying state job. The guy who set me up became the director of that agency and I live my life here, glad to be free of such nonsense.
Nothing changes.
I'm really happy for Dano and Sunny. This woman, who is taking them, she seems like a very kind hearted person. She's a nurse now, but once was a vet tech. What does that say about her? A lot I think.
Here's to all the people out there, caught in financial straits, laid off, unemployed, worried, but still alive. Here's to you and hope for your future.
Here's to me, my cats and all my beloved friends! Thank you.
To end, here are food photos and who does not like food photos?
I didn't plant tomatoes this year. But they came up anyway, as volunteers. I had too many, but I did not want them to go to waste. So I dried them, in the oven on the lowest heat, for as long as it took. Before that, I cut them in half, patted them dry, mixed them up with some olive oil, tiny bit of salt, and various spices, like garlic powder and turmeric. These are unbelievably good. I was going to freeze them and use them in cooking later in the winter. But I can't keep out of them as snacks. They have chewy centers but crunchy edges and outsides. Try it. They're yummy yummy good!
While not entirely photo attractive, this soup I made in the crock pot, slow cooked all day, is fantastic! I don't know what all I put into it, what I had left in the frig plus black rice (forbidden rice). This included mushrooms and the last cabbage out of my garden. It included peppers of two varieties, from my garden and finely chopped garlic. Plus various herbs, spices and some horse raddish. Second day soup is better than first day soup, so I don't eat soup until the second day. This is so good, I ate a bowl for breakfast. So, for me to fore-go my usual oatmeal, for soup, you know its delicious!
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