Video Clip of the Old Couple's Teen Kittens

I have done nothing useful all day, stressed out and worn out. Finally gave in to the old couple's shameless bullying and went and took photos of their cats, two of them housed in one of my cages. They had told me they had great neighbors who were going to help them find the kittens homes. I said "So what happened to those great neighbors of yours, who were going to help you out?" "Well, that kind of faded away," the old man stated flatly.

I like this old couple a lot, but for gosh sakes, I seem to like everyone I meet briefly. Trouble is, people mistake friendliness these days for, "what can she do for us". And the moment I've done what they want done for them, I'm dumped in the bushes like an unwanted stray, all comraderie gone. They don't need me anymore. And like those dumped strays, I feel it. It affects me.

Some neighbor man came by the other day when I was there and said "Thank you for helping them." I wanted to rip his head off and say, "You know, why don't you help them, you lazy ass fake friendly neighbor?" I held my tongue. Maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe that's the problem. People need to know their faults loudly sometimes. Yup, I need to get more vocal, make me feel better.

Maybe I should start by simply handing out fliers in that one neighborhood, where I got yelled at and threatend. The flier would be simple. It would say, in bold letters, "Fix your Damn Cats" and, on the flip side, "Meth Heads and Thieves SUCK!" I'd go door to door smiling like some religious zealot on a zombie high.

"May I give you a flier?" I'd say, with a big plastic grin.


Hahahahaha.

I'm a whore here. I have no life of my own. I have a right to say what I think now. I'm nobody, nothing, pathetic, used, and maybe I should use right back.

My brothers, who the hell knows where they are. Maybe they'll check back in one day, when they hear I might have died, or did die, while the nieces and nephew I don't even know, make snide comments about my life while putting what's left of my broken down shit in boxes to burn or dump at Goodwill after hours.

I'm alone in this world. Most of the world, including the self-proclaimed righteous religious, do not give a damn about anything, if it doesn't affect them personally. Most of what you might hear, from liberals and religious freaks, about caring for the poor or other people, is a guilt free front put out, and the private life of all is about the same. Scams, I say, shams. Smoke and mirrors. Bullshit.

I submit to you we have no choice in the fate of our species. How do we know the complicated ants don't debate and dream, while trudging in their lines? And the bees, too. But their fates are sealed in their genes. Or, is colony collapse syndrome rebellion of the bees? "To hell with this," the young bees proclaim and leave the hive never to return. Our fate, sealed also, I submit. Pretending is good, however.

Have you thought of that possibility, that we can't change our fates because we really don't have a choice, in how we conduct our societies and personal lives? Look, as evidence, I will cite the growing world population, the inability to feed the growing world population, but as solution, we look to growing and distributing more food, instead of limiting reproduction. Hahahaha. See what I mean?

So I say to you, what shall I do with what's left of my life? Shall I remain a whore, a low self-esteem craphead everybody calls to do their dirty work and step on afterwards? I could. Or, I could throw my junk possessions in a dumpster, not even recycle them, and head out, to have a bit of adventure, even if brief, before I blink out of the world of man.