Doomsday Girl

Well, what can I say,
you know?
The eagerly awaiting doom blogs,
CNN itself,
those fresh faced makeup plastered coffee blitzed morning showcasters
They all seem to agree for once,
sort of,
The world's about to end.

The climate's warming
prices are climbing
food is short
(we can't afford gas and food and mortgages)
the salmon are disappearing
Oh now brain, don't fail me with bad news lines for this one,
I'm trying to jump aboard the doomsday train, you see,
I want to know the doomsday dances, all of them.
Keep me in the facts, the fast facts, the sensational facts,
only the bad news facts, chortled in with a bit of good news,
I can cite to show what a good sport I am about impending doom.

I want to be the doomsday queen with all the quick smart witty answers to shut down those smiley faced optimists, who say "but, but, what about.....". Gosh darn those optimists anyhow, cutting in on my doomsday fact citing glory.

The dam is breaking, the farm is flooded, the bees are all dead from a mite, no wait, a miticide, no wait, they fled the planet in little spaceships. They'd been planning their escape all along!

I'm up clinging to the top branch of an agent orange defoliated apple tree, after that last apple, with the dirty brown foamy flood waters raging by me, splitting to go either side of my apple tree.

I can reach that apple too, just another shimmy up another foot and I hear the crack of the branch breaking. I dive for that apple and take a big lucious bite before I crash into the raging waters too.

I'm a doomsday girl now. I can do all the doomsday dance moves. I can doomsday rattle with the best of the best of the soggy faced crowd cheering on THE END.

Get it?

I'm a fake too. In my closet I hide, to smile and laugh at cheap shot corny jokes. I'm not coming out either.

Closets are for optimists these days. Out in your world, I put on my doomsday face and wear it well.... Just for you.

Here, however, I'll tell you. I've known those optimisty dances since I came screaming into this world. Now those are some fine dance moves.