Heartbroken

I am heartbroken tonight over the Marilyn street killings of all the cats I worked so hard to get fixed. I had the old man dig up two of the bodies. They had blood coming from their noses, which is consistent with a dog grabbing them, crushing their lungs as they shake them. One was covered in mud, had been in quite a struggle to get away. Another was partially torn open. These are cats I worried over, spent hours trapping, were all fixed and happy. And now they're dead. The old man doesn't even like to get up mornings, knowing there will be more.

The encounter with the police officer only served to burden me more, as she seemed to care nothing about cats, tried to call it a cat problem, told the old man to stop feeding them, didn't care he loves them. It is a devaluation of life, is what it is, a disrepect for life and those who love things alive.

Nonetheless, I went around the neighborhood knocking on doors, talking to people. Most were outraged and pledged to keep a sharp watch and even patrol the neighborhood. Others wanted to get out their guns and start shooting they were so mad. Most were very upset that the police seemed to blame the cats, in a way, because they exist. It's like blaming a rape victim because she has a vagina.

I am discouraged enough trying to solve the cat problems in Albany alone. The suffering, abuse, neglect, and abandonment rates here are unbelievable. I work as a volunteer, too, and alone. I do not have a support system to help me through all the horrors of human behavior I witness. It is difficult. I am having trouble tonight dealing with the ferocity of what those cats, so many of them, suffered as they died.

This action makes me feel what I do counts for nothing at all, when it is reversed so suddenly by a vicious crime committed by an animal or animals who also are the victims of irresponsible people. I want to leave, to run far away from this mentality here, that runs so deep, the disrespect for everything, life included, is high in this area. I don't know why.

My brother has been trying to find a reasonably priced house in the Corvallis area to buy, so this one can be put up for sale. So I can go home. I want so badly to go home.

If you know of one, please let me know.

More of the deceased:

Adult orange and white male, an orange and white teen, who suffered greatly, drooling horribly and crying as he died, apparently with a punctured esophogus and punctured lung. Even though he was feral, he meowed piteously at the old man, when he found him, before dying. The dead orange and white teen is seen in photo with another now deceased teen male, who was fixed, too, mostly white. All the young black and white ones were killed. Several of the big orange males, including the one who lived across the street, along with a couple of the other black and whites who lived over there, including, they believe, the young teen I trapped in the first endeavor there, are among the missing and presumed to be dead. That teen black and white was pregnant when I took her for spay. She'd already had one litter. One of her first litter is missing, two are accounted for and the fourth, thankfully, I adopted out. They too had all been fixed.

The surviving cats, though few, are totally spooked. He had to coax one down from a tree that one night, when the Golden Retriever had been seen there, late, after the cats. That dog has been back and seen twice, so I would presume that is the killer dog. The old man says he looks like a lab, but has long yellow hair, which sounds like a Golden Retriever. He says it's a nice looking dog, like an owned dog. So, somewhere on or near Knox Butte, just outside Albany, lives a killer Golden Retriever who needs stopped.