Dismal

I've been depressed lately. I suppose that rich old woman down at the mill, cheating me, kind of got to me big time. I thought she was ethical for some reason. I don't know why. She had told me she'd reimburse my expenses incurred down there, including the costs of fixing the cats. She agreed to them coming back. And those were falsehoods.

It's got me wanting to quit. What's the point? The rich are getting richer and meaner. The poor get used and abused, and ground into the dirt under the feet of such people. And nobody cares or even blinks.

I am settling into the gloom of Albany, Oregon. It is enveloping me. I don't see any escape.

I don't feel good. I'm tired and there seems no end to the tiredness. I don't see any future for me, other than the endless tiredness and sadness. I am alone and sad and wish I could find a way out of Albany.

I hope to find a way to rise above. I am not an abuser. I don't cheat people. These people who do, they're a seperate breed and this behavior is bred into them. They justify it somehow and still condemn the small time theives and thugs. They go to church, as does this old woman, and believe they're righteous, I suppose, and that some god loves them. Right after they destroy somebody little, somebody like me, or those cats.

There is no god for the religious. The religions make their gods up out of thin air, to suit their particular mentality. And as for righteousness or spirituality, those traits are confined to a very very few.

If the Bible is true and there is really a god out there, when it is stated in the Bible, that many are called and few are chosen, I believe that can be taken very literally to mean very very very few are chosen, maybe like two or three, in the end.