Friday, August 31, 2007

Two of Four Kittens Get Fixed

The vet wouldn't do two of the kittens, because they have URI's--the two from the colony, that the colony caretaker is keeping inside the house. The other two, Spider and the little feral male from NW Corvallis, were done. I paid the $25 and had to give back the $25 donated by the colony caretaker for the two who weren't done, when I returned them this evening. I told her they need to be on antibiotics, but I don't think she has any left.

I realize I wouldn't get any adoption inquiries most likely anyhow on a holiday weekend. So many people are gone, off camping and such, the last fling of summer. I feel bad I never did a damn thing all summer. I had so hoped to find someone, or a group, to go camping with. I never did. I only went swimming once, too.

Both my innertubes are flat. I started to collect a few two liter pop bottles in hopes of making myself a boat of some sort out of them, then gave up, since I really don't know anybody that drinks that much pop.

I've been depressed all summer really. I'm not cut out for Albany living. I have nobody anymore, nobody I could call on to help out should I need help here, get hurt, get sick, or even if I want to get away for a couple days. It's kind of a scarey feeling.

At nights, sometimes I wake up missing my mother. I do miss her, although she was so brainwashed by dear old dad. I don't miss him. They're both dead.

Sometimes at night I wake with a rush washing over me and my heart beating, thinking I've died and where am I now. I figure I must have been dreaming something. Sometimes at night I think about the aloneness. It comes over me in long black suffocating waves.

I become stoic in the end and remember I'm a stray and strong as a stray. The strays die out there, in intense suffering, without anybody comforting them and I can die alone, too, when my time comes. Almost everyone ends up alone when they die. Car wrecks. Accidents of all sorts. Heart attacks.

Me and the strays, we have a lot in common.

In America, I'm expected to cuddle up to this computer and that should be enough. I am expected to plop on the couch in front of reality TV and that should be more than enough. It's not enough for me.

I've never been good at e-mail communication. I write and read them hastily, missing things. Or I write an e-mail when overwrought or mad and regret it later. However, I've never been able to equate e-mail with the real world. It's like fantasyland to me. I don't know why. But I usually don't even feel I am writing to real people, for some reason.

Perhaps it's my age. Maybe younger generations do not equate online communication with fantasy. Maybe younger generations really feel they connect with people online. I don't. I can't. I get in trouble because of this, which can make matters worse for me in attempting to communicate in other more personal ways.

I'm not much good at social interaction anymore. I've been alone so long the lack of social interaction means I don't get any practise. When I get a chance to be around people, I flub up. The longer I go without meaningful human contact, the less likely it becomes that I will ever get it, because my eccentricities from life alone and lack of social interaction practise become more pronounced.

I could be happy living in the company of others in stick shacks along a river. If I have good friends, I need nothing much else. I know many of you who read this think it's stupid to desire human companionship. And if that's how you are, that's how you are. But it's not how I am.

I think it's time I say goodbye to White Fang and answer the call of the wild.

No Luck On Finding Fun Buddies

I've had zero luck in finding anybody to do anything with. So I've done nothing, but clean up the yard, really, and print some more kitten adoption fliers and post some around. I have had zero kitten adoptor contacts for a week, which is discouraging, very discouraging.

I did get four male kittens in for neuter today, have to come up with $50 to pay for them, but the BS caretaker donated $25 or $30 at least. $50 is cheap for 4 neuters, so I couldn't pass it up. I pick them up at 6:30 p.m.

I'm dying of lonliness. I wish I could find someone to do something with, that's for sure. Hopi, one of my cats, has been number one bitch today.

Wild Rescued Kitten and Cat Party Video

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Taking Rest of Week OFF

I cancelled appointments for fixing at the vets tomorrow. I am too exhausted to go trap more cats tonight. I've had the neck pain come back, ever since I helped those fence builders try to dig fence post holes, by pounding at the hard clay with overhead blows, to loosen the soil, using a long handled crowbar. Just hasn't gone back to normal yet, the pain level from that stupid act.

I wanted to be one of them, I guess. One of the hole digging fence builders. Um, I've not got the body of a young manuel laborer. Too many metal spinal plates. Live and learn. Or grow old and never learn a damn thing.

I'm going to focus on trying to adopt out even one of the fixed kittens. That would be a win, to even find a home for one. I have four fixed kittens, some a bit older. I have two boys and two girls. Meeko and Mooki are the two boys. Purrly and Little Miss Sunshine are the two spayed girls.

In the wings, ready to go once fixed---Aces, Pixie, Spider, Shady, Micah and the three, not yet named, of the injured mom cat--two boys and one girl. I also have two kittens here from NW Corvallis. Two of three kittens of a feral mom, now spayed, out there. The woman had caught the third kitten, then tried to transfer the kitten to a carrier, alone and outside, and the kitten bolted away from her into the berry vines. The other two, two gray tabby tuxes, one boy, one girl, are here, in a rabbit hutch, waiting to be spay weight. Once they're fixed, they can go back there. Won't be the greatest life, living as feral kittens out there, but they'll be fed and they'll have an outside bed, so they'll be just fine.

Yikes! I have 15 kittens here alone. Plus about 16 adults. 31 cats, although two of the kittens will be leaving the moment they are fixed. Only four of all these cats are mine. The rest are up for adoption, some chronically.

Fantasy Revenge Didn't Last Long

Click post title to go to KATU News story about a woman, who went on a State Fair spending spree, using her ex employers' credit card. This is a fantasy shared, no doubt, by many a disgruntled employee. Maybe she'd been rightfully fired.

In other news, a Portland woman was arrested for embezzling almost a million buckeroos from the nursing home where she worked, causing the nursing home financial woes during the time she stole so much money. That's one way to make an extra income.

I don't get why they don't lock such people up for ages, stealing that much. Often embezzlers don't do much time at all, compared to say your local loser stealing a six pack from the corner Circle K.

I guess embezzlers are pretty much upstanding citizens. They're often well educated and either book keepers or accountants, often women. I also heard bank robbery is on the rise nationwide.

Well, maybe I should embezzle something to fund spay/neuter, or rob a bank. Sorry to say, I'm not the type to do well at either. I'd mess up. I'd mess it up badly.

I would end up feeling sorry for the bank tellers and slipping them big wads of the stolen cash, knowing they get only minimum wage, generally, and probably can't even afford to fix their cats.

I'd probably try to slip the cops arresting me some cash, too, knowing many of them don't get paid much. But cops aren't empathetic or understanding by and large, so I'd just get charged with attempted bribery, too, adding to my mess-up-the-bank-robbery woes.

I'm just no good at illegal activity and I'd be no good at robbing anybody either, because I have empathy. You can't be a good robber if you're empathetic. You better choose another career route. There aren't many available career routes for the empathetic soul to take, let me tell you.

I think a lot of empathetic souls end up living and drinking under bridges. I think that's where I'll eventually end up once again---living under some rocks by a river, just like where I lived when I began this whole cat journey.

Nine Cats Fixed Yesterday. Injured Mom Cat Undergoes Eye Removal Surgery

I took nine cats in to be fixed yesterday. Four are from Corvallis--a feral mother and her three kittens. The other five are from the Albany resident with at least nine unfixed cats. At least five, three females and two males, are now fixed.

I have been working with a Corvallis woman who contacted me wanting me to take a feral mother cats' three kittens. She live trapped the mother with the help of some of her neighbors who took her to a vet to be fixed, then gave her the bill. She then called me horrified, that getting one feral cat fixed cost her $200! I said "There are no cheap spay options in Corvallis. I told you I could get her fixed for $40 at Countryside." She said she realizes now why there is an overpopulation problem, when a spay costs that much. She said a lot of people she talked to, told her to dump the cats on Peoria Road. She said that must be a popular local option for Corvallis residents, because she heard it so frequently. She thought it a disgusting option, and condemned those who suggested it soundly.

She live trapped one kitten a few days ago, housed her in a carrier, then live trapped a second yesterday morning, then he got away from her when she was trying to transfer him. I went over then and helped her set the trap better.

Later on, she called to say she'd caught one of the two remaining kittens. When I went over to help show her how to set the trap, I brought home the female kitten she'd caught a few days prior. The kitten is skinny and scared, a female. Last night, she finally agreed to take back the kittens, once they are fixed, and feed them there. I haven't heard from her this morning.

The Freddies district university employees, who fed the feral mother with the three kittens, all fixed yesterday, said the same thing about the fact the high cost of fixing cats is causing part of the overpopulation problem. The vet they used wants $250 for a spay. Nobody is going to be able to help a stray mother with kittens get at least fixed, when that is the normal price of spays in the Corvallis area. A good share of people could never afford to fix their own cat at that price.

I know this is a huge problem--the prices charged for spay at most vets. I know vets are just running a business and not out there to solve overpopulation. So, since they're not into solving the overpopulation problem, there needs to be an alternative out there, so it can be solved, not only for the cats, but for the community, as a community livability issue, an environmental issue and a public health issue.

The injured mother cat is recuperating after surgery that removed her damaged eye, that was knocked out of the socket by blunt force trauma, according to the woman who took her to the vet in Corvallis. She was likely hit by a car, I would guess. Blunt force trauma injuries with cats are usually from being hit by a car or bike. Sometimes, cats get such injuries if kicked or hit by a person, also, but the usual manner is when hit by a car.

She was otherwise healthy, outside of a white count consistent with infection, which was setting into the eye socket, and severe earmites, which her kittens, here with me, also have. I spent hours yesterday cleaning their ears. They're sweet kittens--two boys, one a brown tabby with green eyes, and a tabbical female kitten.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I need to get away and I need some human contact

Is there anybody out there who wants to do something fun? I have not had fun in ages. I haven't had anybody to do anything with for ages. I am desperately lonely and being fed upon more and more.

All you people who say to just go take a walk and that will be enough, what a bunch of baloney. Hey, you try it. You try going for days and weeks and months and years on end, without any meaningful human contact, nobody to do things with, to chat and joke with, to watch movies with, go on hikes with, go swimming or camping with---you go try it, and don't be telling me "go take a walk" if you don't know what it is like to live alone, exist alone, without any support or friendship or family whatsoever. You live in vaccuum of human contact for decades. Then you tell me what to do. But not before.

Lately I've just given in, to the demands from people to take cats. It's sick, I know. I have no adoption venue. I get no funding to do this. People prey on me. It's time to stop this. If I were being paid, different story. If people were donating a fair share or anything, be a different story. People are laying work and burdens on me cheerfully because they can then resume their lovely lives guilt free. While I have no life. None.

Nobody even returns my equipment. They expect that I travel to do that. I've got equipment in Shedd and they want me to come all the way out to get it. I had equipment at the BS overflow but will they return it? Fuck no. And yet if they say they'll return it, it has to be on their time. It's fucking sicko. I can't find decent people out there.

I can't go anywhere, even for one night, because I have no one to care for all these cats.

I can't find homes for them, either. I've had one inquiry of late. ONE, that's it. Someone who wants to adopt an unfixed kitten, but won't or can't provide a vet reference even though they claim to have had many dogs and cats. Apparently, none ever visited a vet? I can't figure that one out. I've told them I don't adopt out unfixed kittens to people I don't know or who can't provide proof they are diehard spayaholocs. That's just the way it is.

I'm not going to take in kittens that then go out there and become part of the problem. I'm trying to fatten these kittens up to spay weight. And now Purrly, from the BS and Little Miss Sunshine, a delightful Siamese mix, getting to be an older kitten, are just on the verge of not being cute enough kitten types to have much of an adoption future. Without an adoption venue I am sunk. Wish one of these nonprofits would let me adopt out with them, but they won't. I stopped in at Petco the other day and low and behold both KAT and Spay Inc were up there, adopting out cats, because they can. They had the money to become nonprofit. I don't. So I'm fucked.

I try to stay clear of Petco, for that reason. They help every other rescue operation except me. It just hurts me, to be so called upon by my community and yet so ignored, when it comes to community support. I feel like an abused woman. I am being used and abused by Linn and Benton county residents. I like helping cats and having something to do, but unless I get some support I'm going to have to shut down and leave. And I do want to leave.

Well anyhow.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Injured Mom Cat Brings Her Kittens Out to Me

Photo I took of injured mother cat and kittens through the window of the slumhouse being renovated by the new owner.
A mother's eye--graphic photo of her injury, after I put her inside my trap, once she came out to me, with her kittens.
Two of her three kittens.
I went to the slumhouse this afternoon.

Anyhow, another woman was there, wanting to help the cat. She said she'd camp out, if necessary, at the Albany police department until action happened. She'd seen the mother cat, who came out for food, but she didn't want to try to grab her. She said the eye looked horrendous, that the eyeball appeared to be outside the socket and crusted over.

She took me around to the front of the house and we looked in the window. There she was, on the floor, nursing her kittens.

The woman left then, to go the Democrat Herald and the Albany police, to find help in getting this house opened so this cat could be helped.

In the meantime, I went back around to the front. She saw me, began meowing, and came toward the window. I knew she recognized me then and believed she would come out of the house for me. I went clear back around so I could be by the foundation hole.

I had a live trap back there, too, to put her in, if she came out. The big neutered black and white male was back there. He follows me everywhere.

I looked through the side window, then tapped on it and called to her. Moments later I saw her come around the corner. I then went back to the foundation hole and called to her from there.

I was shocked to first see one of the kittens. I thought, "She's bringing them out to me."

She was, too. I believe she has held on for them, and was relieved to see me, knowing if they went with me, they'd be safe. So she brought them to me. And then, she came out herself.

Her eye is awful looking, like a big round marble external to her body, crusted over in gore. I don't know what happened to cause that.

At that time, the kind woman reappeared. The paper had not been interested in doing the story at this time, they had told her. Maybe at some later time, the reporter said. I don't know if she made it to the cop shop or not. She had no night in shining armor, press corp or cop corp along. Didn't matter. She was now surrounded by loving women.

The good neighbor was up and out helping, too. So the three of us got her and the kittens back to my car. I seperated out the kittens I had put in the trap with her temporarily. They were fighting over food I'd put in.

The woman is taking her to the best of the best vets--to Corvallis Cat Care. I was ecstatic inside to hear that, but also queezy, knowing how expensive that clinic is. The woman said she would pay. But if anyone reading this wants to help out, that'd be great. The cat is at Corvallis Cat Care in Corvallis.

The first thing, she'll be tested. I know Leukemia and FIV are very common in Albany, with so many unfixed pets, so I hold my breath for her on that. If she is negative, then there will be expensives with that eye, maybe a lot of expenses. So I will update on this blog.

The kittens, two boys and a girl, are here for now. I already treated them with Strongid, Advantage and gave them a first shot. They are currently engaged in wolfing down plates of food.

I haven't heard anymore about the cat's condition. I most likely will tomorrow. I will then update this blog concerning her future.

I also went to Corvallis tonight to trap four cats near my old home turf, in the Freddies district. These folks contacted me last week about a feral mother and three kittens they are feeding. There were four kittens, but they found a home for one and now intend to keep one themselves. They had him inside when I arrived.

I trapped one of the female kittens. Both are torti's--one a classic dark torti and the other a dilute. To catch the classic torti kitten and the mother, I had to put both the other kittens in a live trap, then put that live trap beneath my drop trap. The mother and still on the lam kitten came over to comfort the confined kittens and I yanked the stick holding up the drop trap, nabbing them, too. All four will be fixed tomorrow.

Alexi and Machi Get Homes. No word on Injured Mother Cat.

Alexi and Machi went to homes yesterday. Both had been here awhile. Machi is one of three brothers from a small colony I trapped off Spicer. I have referred to them as the "Spicer Boys". Meeko and Mooki, his brothers, are still here awaiting homes. Alexi is one of four kittens I dug out of a woodpile buried beneath a haypile on Fern Rd. in Philomath. Their mother had been dumped off along that road. Little Miss Sunshine, the fourth kitten, is still here awaiting adoption.

Pixie may be spoken for now and Aces may also be spoken for.

That leaves Little Miss Sunshine, Mooki, Meeko, Purrly, Spider and Micah. All are incredible kittens. The first four are fixed.

I have had no word on the fate of the injured female in downtown Albany who allegedly had an injury to her head or eye, although I have not seen the injury. The good neighbor told me she finally saw her, but through the dirty window of the slum house. She said her eye didn't look so bad. She was going to try to reach the house owner again, to get in and get the mother and kittens.

I drove Alexi and Machi to their new homes yesterday. But by evening, I began to wonder why I had received no phone calls. I finally checked my phone. It was not working. No dial tone. Seems my cats had bitten through the phoneline between the wall outlet and phonebase. I wondered how many phone calls I'd missed. I worried I'd missed one about the injured mother.

I left a message with the good neighbor last night after replacing my phoneline, but heard nothing back. Turns out, she was at work. She works 12 hour night shifts. She's sleeping right now, so not answering the phone. So I have not been able to find out anything further yesterday or today about that mother cat and her three kittens or about the extent of her injuries.
Micah, orange tabby male kitten from the BS.
Spider, when still living out beside the barn. When I took this photo, his mother, a torti, was less than a foot away, hissing to beat the band.
A couple weeks after taking above photo, I trapped Spider and Micah's mother, the torti, then dug the kittens out. This is Spider, just after I netted him. Their mom got fixed, and the kittens and mother were rabbit hutched in the garage together after her spay, so the kittens could be handled. Eventually, the kittens were let out and the torti allowed them to remain in the garage, periodically returning to nurse them. Two of the kittens that the caretaker wanted to keep, the calico and all black male, are still there, in the garage.

Spider, Micah's brother, also from the BS colony.

Never Been So Alone in My Life

I've never been this alone. I've been homeless. I've lived in shacks and tenements. But all in Corvallis, for the most part. I've lived there all my adult life, except for a few years in Alaska.

I've had friends. Most are dead now, or have moved away. It was tough to have friends when in the mental health system all zombied up by forced psyche drugs and useless. I had a few friends then anyhow, who were in the mental health system. They're dead now, for the most part. Some killed themselves. Many, actually. I mean, it was a useless meaningless existence, being stored up in those low income hotels, every day the same.

The poverty stricken old people I knew who lived in those low income hotels, alongside the mentals, were very colorful eccentric people. The ones I knew are dead now, too.

It's tough finding friends when you fit in nowhere and have no family or 9 to 5 job.

Moving to Albany has pretty much killed me. Everything familiar is gone. The culture is extremely different. I am so utterly alone the ache pounds away at me. I wake up mornings excited for a new day and then I remember I live in Albany now. There's nobody to call, nobody to do anything with or share anything with. There are no hiking parks. There's nothing.

The heavy weight sets upon me, like death.

I can't believe I ended up here.

I can't believe I'm caught in this trap and have no way out. I'm caught in a trap, not a live trap set by some rescuer---the trap I'm caught in is a trap meant to kill.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Forgive Michael Vick?

I am worn out. I'm tired of all the animal abuse and suffering I see everyday here in Albany. I don't think I can take it much longer. I have e-mails tonight, from people who want me to come take their cats. One woman in Corvallis, who e-mailed me two weeks ago, about a feral mother cat on her property with kittens, wanting me to take them, suddenly e-mails me tonight, saying she has the mother in a cage, ready to take to the pound (Heartland) where she'll be killed, but she's having second thoughts and now can I come get her and hold her until she's spayed and she'll keep her around and feed her, but she'll have to take the feral kittens to the pound.

Why do people lay it all on me, like it's just my sole responsibility, to help them and all the cats? Why? It's killing me, you know. Killing me. Nobody cares it is killing me. People want their needs met and who the fuck cares about the consequences to anyone else.

I had told this woman I could not take the five cats in, but could help her get them fixed. That was over two weeks ago and I never heard from her again, until tonight, when she wants me to come get that cat, and hold her until she's spayed.

And that little mother cat, injured, and in that slumhouse. Nobody can get in to get her and the landlord doesn't care.

It's too much for me to bear anymore. I think about Michael Vick and the evil acts he perpetrated. They're common acts here in Albany. People look away from suffering or cause it and laugh. People are so materialistic and self-centric here and maybe everywhere. Shall we lock everyone up? Maybe we should lock up half the population.

That Corvallis cockfighter and his compatriots, the disgusting people who bet on which rooster will slash the other to death first--they're barbarians. At least, a young woman, girlfriend to one of these goons, who abused her, had the guts to turn them in. That takes guts and a sense of morality.

The dairy owners defended these folks as "sweet people". Sweet people don't organize animal torture events, nor do they abuse their girlfriends. Hope the dairy loses all its business or better yet, the owners get charged. They'd have to be blind, deaf, and really really dumb, not to know that was going on there.

What will change our society to one that respects life, that is not cruel and harsh and mean and judgemental? The neighbor lady from the neighborhood with that injured little mother wondered aloud about Albany's values also, about the hate here, towards the homeless, the poor, the animals. I told her it is hard for me to bear living here also and that i just want to run.

I no longer believe that people are anymore than savage animals, held somewhat in check by societal laws and fear of a god's retribution. However, that same god fear, is misused by zealots of all sorts to justify heinous behaviors.

People are, as are animals, egocentric, looking out for their own survival, above all else, even when it harms others. The weak and the good are preyed upon, and should society's laws collapse at any point, many people will use this as an excuse to begin killing one another, as happens now in many countries.

If religion is the opiate of the masses, law is the cage. When turned loose of the cage and free of the opiate, the human animal is capable of more savagry than any other beast ever known to this earth.

This is a world where little children are kidnapped into sexual slavery and where grown men drool over little girls, who are just babies.

This is a world grown accustomed to extreme violence and that likes it.

Do you know one way acceptance of violence, and a need for violence become ok? By disrespect, abuse and abandonment of animals, thats how. It trickles up, into a general disrespect for life and an acceptance of violence.

And there's stupid me, who wants to believe that humans are good or can be noble and will even look after the strays. It is stupidity in the face of brutal reality. It is delusion and mindless hope. It is the dream of a very lonely soul, who has experienced far too much abuse. But it is just a dream.

I can't bear to harbor ill will long term. Or to vanguish my dream for long. It hurts me. The only hope I have really is to forgive such people as Michael Vick and hope they will become the opposite of what they are and that this change will inspire others, make people believe and change the world.

I wanted to change the world once, at least the world for the strays. I have helped many thousands. And yet, I feel a sense of failure.

If Michael Vick turned into a person who rescues and defends animals, what a miracle that would be, what a message of hope for humans. How I would dream then!

My desire is to forgive Michael Vick his cruelty and anger, exhibited in brutish atrocities against helpless dogs. Do we forgive all these monsters, the child killers, the rapists, the molestors, the murderers, the sex traffikers, all the abusers of life on Earth? Do we forgive them all? Some have no souls whatsoever. Does Michael Vick have a soul? I don't know. I'm beginning to think at least half the people on the planet don't.

Injured Mother Cat Lays on Couch Inside Slum House Where Tenant Abandoned Her

I got a call from the downtown Albany woman, the nice neighbor, where I've trapped 8 cats so far. Three of them, including the beautiful desperate Flamepoint kitten, have not returned. They're with Keni, Poppa's President.

I'd gotten a young tabby tux female fixed. She was tame, loving, sweet and had three kittens up on the tenant house porch. I took the kittens and gave them to the nice neighbor. Tenants at the tenant house then took them back, stating they could find them homes. Instead, they turned them back out.

The young mother then took them into the house just east of the tenant house, a dilapidated falling apart moldy bulldozer bait slum. This is the house, allegedly, whose previous tenant abandoned her.

The mother cat sustained a serious injury of some sort. A tenant in the white house told the good neighbor that her eyeball was hanging from its socket. The mother cat retreated into the falling down slum house, where she lays, injured, on a couch, nursing her kittens and crying.

A note was attached to the door, by police, that directed the landlord to contact the police about the cats in his house. I don't know what led to that, maybe someone who saw the injury and wanted her helped. Bless them, if they did so. I didn't see the note. The good neighbor has tried to get the landlord to come and let her catch the mother and kittens, to no avail.

I am frustrated over all this. I have told the good neighbor to call the newspaper, because that will bring action if anything will. People don't do shit unless there's a camera on them these days. The good neighbor, like the biblical Good Samaritan, is willing to pay for her vet care.

I told her to beg, if need be, to the paper, to cover it, that we need to show some humanity instead of sitting around on our fat butts watching TV and allowing suffering to occur all around us, feeding our addictions, including our addiction to materialism and inaction, preaching and judging, but doing nothing real to stem the suffering out there, the needless suffering, like that of this struggling little mother, injured now, desperate, and still trying to care for her kittens, in the house where she once belonged to somebody who didn't really love her.

The photo at top is of her, when I took her in to be spayed a couple weeks ago. Now, I guess she's been badly injured, with an eyeball hanging and perhaps other injuries. She might have been hit by a car, attacked by dog or raccoon, who knows. The cat food cans, sitting in foreground, are ironic, aren't they? "Special Kitty". Not here she isn't. I want to save her. I know there are a million like her, unwanted, unloved, unnoticed, hounded and abused at every turn, right here in Albany. God damn it.

I got a call today, from someone who lives near that neighborhood. I got seven cats fixed for them. A neighbor of theirs has NINE unfixed cats. What is wrong with Albany, Oregon?

Friday, August 24, 2007

Cats and Kittens Getting Homes and Update on Squeeks, the Desperate Flamepoint Kitten

I returned the two big males this morning and the little male kitten from Shed. Alexi, one of the two Siamese sisters, is going to a home Sunday as is Machi, one of the three Spicer boys.

Also now spoken for: Cattyhop, the sweet bobtail gray tux female who has been with me about a year now, and Little Miss Sunshine and Pixie.

UPDATE: The home for Cattyhop, Pixie and Little Miss Sunshine fell through. I misunderstood the women, and thought they were going to be housepets. Instead, these two kittens and precious Cattyhop, who must sleep with me (or someone) at night, were going to live outside. I didn't want that for them. So I am quite disappointed, but they were nice animal loving women, just a misunderstanding is all. I do have cats that would be appropriate for outside living, but the women weren't interested in them.

Also, the couple who were going to adopt Meeko, one of the Spicer Boys, contacted me today to say they had experienced a death in the family and would be unable to adopt Meeko. So, only two kittens are actually getting homes this weekend--Alexi and Machi.

I am kind of in a let down, thinking six cats were going to be adopted, when it's only two.

The potential adoptors of Cattyhop were really nice people. I just don't think it would be fair to her, after she's come to love indoor living and the easy life of cuddling, to turn her outside all of a sudden. Meeko's potential adoptors were also wonderful. It's too bad, all around. I don't get many adoption contacts anymore.

The three kittens from downtown Albany, including the beautiful Flamepoint Siamese male kitten, who so badly wanted a home, are in foster with Poppa's president, up in Portland. I took them up there for their surgeries, done in Tigard, a wonderful clinic, and now Keni has elected to foster them up there. But, if she doesn't find them homes, I swear her husband will leave her. Hahahaha.

So, the desperate flamepoint kitten I called Squeeks, is now called Romeo and still needs a home. Keni named the torti kitten "Turtle" and her sister "Blossom". They, too, need homes.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Shady, a Sick Kitten, Getting Better, Wants to Play

Aces. From the blackberry vine to cat toys galore--a little kitten gets hope.

One Male Didn't Make it Through Surgery

The vet clinic called to say the orange and white BS overflow male did not make it. He died shortly after surgery, likely of a heart complication. I was not surprised. He had behaved bizarrely in the trap prior to surgery and had a rash across his chest. Makes me sad, however, nonetheless. I will bury him out where he came from.
BS overflow male, who died today.
Big Siamese male, from downtown Albany, the fifth cat I took up for fixing this morning. He wasn't happy about being trapped. Now all the big males fed there are fixed. I have only the young calico mother and her one remaining kitten left to trap.

Five Cats To Be Fixed Tomorrow

Buff and white male, from BS overflow.
Orange and white female, from BS overflow.
Tabby tux teen, from Shed colony. Pregnant mother and big daddy got fixed Tuesday.
One of two big males I trapped at the downtown Albany situation tonight. The other male is a dominant angry Siamese, who should have been neutered long ago. This brings the total fixed there now to 8, with five remaining, four of whom are kittens, three of whom are far too little to be fixed yet. Their mother is fixed. The other kitten is the only one uncaught of the four, with the calico mom, yet to be fixed. The other three were fixed today, up in Tigard. I don't know yet whether they will be coming back here or not. 8 down, 2 to go.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Vick and the Unholy Beasts that Defend His Behavior

Vick has copped a plea to avoid a long jail sentence. I watched tonight as another NFL player defended Vick's behavior and described dog fighting as a sport.

These kinds of people think anything goes. They're making big time money for throwing around a football. Too much money. So much money they've declined to believe ethics, honesty, civilized or noble behavior is necessary.

And why would they? America idolizes those who throw around balls so much so that they will ignore criminal behavior from people who play ball games well. Happens right in the mid valley, with the OSU athletes, who get golden keys to the city of Corvallis.

I told my brother he ought to come to a home game. Not to sit in the stands and drunkenly cheer far off specks who are strangers down on a fake field throwing around a ball.

I've been to some home games, to collect cans so I can help more stray cats. The drunken excess displayed by those attending home games is extreme, with their motor homes, satelite big screen TV's, even custom made goal posts and barbecues with food that is so expensive most people I know could never afford to eat that way even once a year.

The drinking is extreme! You've never seen the like of such a display. I never had. The cops look the other way to all the open container drinking, public drunkenness and public urination. I would imagine they're paid to look the other way, or strongly encouraged to do so.

My brother wants to come see it for himself. It's like Roman gladiator spectacles. Moving in and out between the displays of extravagance, littered in bottles and cans of all sorts, the homeless and poor collect cans and try to stay unnoticed.

It is a vision of extremes---the rich displaying their ability to squander money and the desperation of the poor, on display also. Make a great video!

But, when you see such things, as I did last year, I understand how athletes are astonished that they would be held accountable for anything they do. We treat them like gods. With such money at their disposal and no reason to develop character, they turn into demons. Our young then grow up with demons as idols. Society goes down the tubes.

Professional teams have done something else. They've turned the sports lovers of this nation into couch potatos. If I liked football, I'd play it not watch it. Watching sports from a couch is helping kids get fatter and adults to move even less.

I do believe we needs sports. Men and maybe even women need to release aggression, learn to work as teams and learn to win and lose gracefully. Losing gracefully has kind of been lost to the world of even backyard sports games, I think. I think even in kids and recreational team sports the mentality has kind of turned to "Win at all costs". That's just my opinion from watching parents go ballistic at kids games and adults go ballistic when playing themselves.

We don't need athletes who think the law does not apply to them or athletes who seem to have lost all sense of right and wrong, and seem to have no souls, more like muscle machines, hardly even human. I heard a sports announcer once make fun of former Oregon Ducks quarterback Joey Herrington because he plays the piano. I think it'd be sweet, if he now takes Vick's place and roars!

Well, we're a competitive species. I really have drifted off track. I'm steaming the two newest kittens, before going to bed, because they have colds. The older kitten has the worst cold. I am so tired I just want to collapse actually.

And the contractors now say they're coming back in the morning. When they come, if they come, they arrive at 7:15. I don't want to get up that early tomorrow. I want to sleep most of the day. I'm so exhausted and so behind on sleep. Been doing way too much.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

BS Colony Expands. Another Female Has Kittens.

This evening, when I returned the 2 males I trapped yesterday, at BS original, the caretaker told me a black female, she sees only every few months, showed last night and promptly had kittens. She showed me, sort of. I could only see the top of her head. She had them in a cardboard box atop much other stuff in the garage. The caretaker warned me not to get close to her, because she'll attack. She's very defensive of her newborns.

I was discouraged to hear this news. This, with news she'd seen a young mostly white calico in the back barn with three newborns, too. And there are still the 8 kittens, four from the fixed torti, two of Blossoms and two in the house from the barn, out there needing fixed, plus the orange tabby four month old out front.

But, the third cat fixed from out there today, from the overflow, a buff and white that I thought to be a male, was really a female. I returned her also, set more traps at BS overflow and promptly caught one of the three remaining buff and white adults over there to catch. This one is a male.

I left traps set and she called tonight to say I'd caught another of the orange adults. That leaves one orange over there to catch, a gray tabby tux adult, the white three week old kitten and two buff and white kittens, same litter as the older kitten I snagged there yesterday. In other words, five more to catch over there.

I will go after the young calico, using her kittens as bait. That is, when I find them. The caretaker and her son's girlfriends 12 year old daughter, had found them in the upper regions of the stacked hay, originally. They still had the umbilical cord wrapped around them. The little black kitten, the caretaker said, had the cord wrapped way tightly around one leg. She said the kitten should have been killed then, but she didn't, because the little girl was with them. The mother promptly moved them after such fuss and now they don't know where they are.

I will do the same with the black female. In two weeks, when she leaves them for food, I'll take them, put them in a carrier and put the carrier door against the back of a set live trap. Then, once she's caught going in for them, I'll rabbit hutch that mother and her kittens, so they'll be contained. No more of this chasing lookalike cats around through the berry vines.

The calico from Shedd was pregnant. No more. They are recouping in Peoria while I have more traps set. The daughter of my old friends says the calicos last litter of three kittens are no longer alive. She knows one was killed. I didn't ask how and believes the others also have disappeared. But for my old friends sake, I set the traps, just in case. The two adults, the calico and the orange male, are now fixed at least.

Machi is going to his new home likely tomorrow. Meeko also will likely be leaving for a new home later this week. Alexi will leave Sunday for her new home.

That will leave me little Pixie, Aces, the new little boy here, and Shady, the older female kitten, well maybe she's seven weeks. Then I still have Purrly and Little Miss Sunshine and Mooki. The latter three are fixed kittens and ready for adoption.

Five Cats being Fixed Today, Three Downtown Albany Kittens to Portland

I spent almost all day out at the BS, trying to pick off remaining unfixed cats among the scores now already fixed. I caught three males. I also caught two kittens too young to be fixed. They're here with me currently, for now at least.

I then buzzed down to Shed. It was already after 9:00 p.m. An old friend had called. They also own property in Shedd. I first trapped cats for them on Peoria Road. They thought there was a calico and three kittens from her March litter, but they said they rarely would see them and that they're quite wild. I set two traps and finally left. This morning, I had a cat in each trap, the orange one I had been told about, and the calico mother.

After dropping all five cats at the clinic for fixing, I headed on up to Portland with the three downtown Albany kittens. I left them with Poppa's President who will take them in to a clinic up there tomorrow, for their fixing appointments. It is unclear if they will return here, or stay up there after their surgeries.

I am quite exhausted, to be honest.

BS young male.
Final BS original male needing fixed, outside of some young kittens.
BS Overflow male.
Shed feral calico.
Shed colony male.

Monday, August 20, 2007

More BS Kittens

First photo is of colony caretaker holding Blossom's two surviving kittens. Both are males. They are three weeks old. One is buff and one is orange tabby on white. Blossom, their mother, is now spayed.

The second photo is of the two kittens I brought here, from the overflow BS colony, next door to BS original. The littler kitten is the kitten from the last post, seen crouching in the berry vines. The bigger kitten is a orange tabby on white female, whom I also trapped at the BS overflow today and brought home, at least until she's fixed. If she gets a home, good. If she doesn't, she will have to go back.

Kittens in the Berry Vines

Out to the BS I went again today. There are three more cats I knew of up front at the BS garage who are spay weight and unfixed. I caught two of them today.

I was also over trapping at the neighbors. There are four to five unfixed adults remaining to catch there. I caught one buff and white adult male. And I caught a seven week old buff and white female kitten, too.

I also caught a whole lot of already fixed cats, including the muted calico, fixed at the Sweet Home Neuterscooter clinic. Turns out she had three kittens. The black kitten has since disappeared. Her orange and white male four week old and her white kitten were out sitting in the rain, like they'd given up already. I was able to net the orange and white male kitten. Guess where he's at now? You guessed it. My heart is way too soft.

I got a late start this morning. The cat fence contractors arrived just after 7:00 a.m. They said they were going to Home Depot and left some tools outside the garage. I saw them. I figured I'd need to wait til they came back to leave to trap. I was in my spare bedroom tending all the foster kittens. When I got out and looked out, the tools were gone. I couldn't figure it out, and didn't know if they were going to come back or what. Why would they leave for the day and not tell me they were? I finally called my brother and asked if he knew what was going on. He didn't and told me to just get on with my day.

So I got a very late start at trapping. I didn't get to the colony until nearly noon. Cats start napping just before that time.

Muted calico's orange and white male kitten, huddling near the berry vines. I later faked him out, called him out to a spot clear enough where I could net him with my own version of mother cat calls. Worked on him. Probably has earmites is why.

Barn torti's kittens, two of them anyhow. They're up in the garage now, being socialized. A calico, an orange tabby male, a black tabby male, and this gorgeous gray tabby, the one I netted a couple weeks back.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Pellet Gun Fire Again

I was in my garage this evening, after 9:00 p.m. and heard "pop, pop, pop, pop". Sounded like it was hitting the far end of the garage. I went out, and more firing, from the Mexicans behind me, their pellet gun or air rifle or whatever. The backyard was dark, but their upper bedroom lights were on and windows open so I think they were firing from their windows, which is really kind of scarey.

I don't know what to do about it. I will check the back of the garage in the morning to see if they hit it and if they did, I'll call the police again. They're going to hit me. I have a feeling that's their ultimate intent. I wish they'd be deported. I know that sounds mean but I want to live in safety.

I miss my home so much. I miss Corvallis.

Lots of Bad Stuff on the News

I'm almost afraid to hear the news anymore. I feel for the families of those lost six miners and the rescuers killed and injured trying to get to them. Then there are the Chinese workers now trapped in a mine. And the two firemen killed fighting a fire in the gutted building that once stood next to the twin towers.

Then there's the big hurricane hitting Jamaica before it heads towards Mexico. There's extreme flooding from the last Tropical Storm, Erin I believe it was named, in Texas. There are the Iraqi families, grieving those lost in the massive three truck bombings of last week that killed over 250. There is so much sorrow and suffering going on. But there are good things, too.

I just turned on the news a caught a bit of three NBC sports announcers discussing Vick's fate, the star NFL dog fighter, now awaiting trial. It seemed to me, listening to these three announcer guys, that they just wanted it to go away and seemed to consider the charges trivial, compared to football. The black guy announcer seemed to be kind of making a threat. Seems there is fear Vick will name other NFL stars involved in the dog fighting ring. Well, if they were involved, they should be prosecuted as the criminals they are. But in the world of today, if you get away with something, it's ok, and anyone who "snitches" is evil. This is of course one reason why our world is sinking into the pits, this very mentality being pervasive.

The black announcer, and I'm labeling him as black to distinguish him from the other two since I don't know any of these guys names, not being a fanatic fan of anything, turned to the camera and said that Vick would never be able to play again, even if a team hired him as a talented football player, if he "snitched" on other players involved in his dog abuse ring. The announcer did not use the word "snitch". He used the word "roll over". It came across like he was speaking to Vick and it was a threat.

This conversation by these announcers on NBC sports made me think ethics and right and wrong are absent from pro sports these days. Missing in Action.

When that subject came up, here's what I think should have been said by the NBC Sports announcers: "Well, if there are other NFL players involved, they need to do some serious jail time, too, don't you think, Pat?" Pat: "Hell yes! Abusing dogs like that....these people are heroes to my grandkids. I don't want my kids or grandkids idolizing people who body slam dogs to death or tie female dogs in a rape stand." Third announcer: "Anybody listening out there, if you have information about this case, call this number. People who do this sort of thing, need put away. Michael Vick, if you're covering for your buddies, give them up, man. They need to stand up like men and take responsibility for these acts. Do the right thing."

Well, anyhow. I wonder what happened on I5 this evening. It was backed up for miles upon miles. Must have been an accident or something.

Boy, was that rain a surprise this morning to anyone else? I had no clue it was coming.

Flea Ridden Flamepoint Siamese Kitten Begs for Home

This is the Flamepoint male kitten, mentioned in last post, who badly wants a home. He and three siblings would lay in front of an Albany house, that is divided into apartments. I had already trapped a young tame abandoned mom cat there, and got her fixed. I understood the tenants had taken in her three kittens, but then was told they turned them out again.

The four flea ridden kittens are from another stray mom I haven't caught yet. I did catch the torti mother of two other kittens, got her fixed, and the kind neighbor found the kittens homes. I got one of the three males who frequent the area fixed. He too is a sweetheart and was abandoned at one time, years ago, because a tenant in the house said she's fed him for years upon years.

Why do people in Albany abandon cats at such high rates? I don't know the answer to that. I'm just grateful there are kind people in Albany who feed strays and worry over them. And people, like the neighbor lady, who understands that they must also be fixed. As for the fate of the four kittens, I can't keep more cats here. The two girls, a torti and a black and white, with a bit of orange, act feral. But not this boy, their brother, who badly wants a home.

GOOD NEWS: Ming, the torti kitten from the BS colony, just got a home with a nice Eugene couple. They contacted me a couple of weeks ago, expressing interest, after I posted her on craigslist.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Three of Four

I couldn't leave the downtown Albany situation alone, not even in my dreams. Those kittens haunted me, those flea infested little waifs even pleaded from my dreams.

So this morning I was back. I had my throw net and my drop trap and my homemade ragtag fish net. I sewed the net from an old volleyball net I got or found somewhere.

I caught two with the drop trap. I yanked the string to pull the stick holding it up, from where I sat watching in my car. I could have waited and hoped all four would end up eating under that drop net. But I figured these two would have moved off by then and the flamepoint little boy was so bad with fleas he's scratched himself bloody. I knew he was the worst off and wouldn't live much longer, so I yanked it on him and the black and white little girl, with the touch of orange to her back.

They were afraid at first. I transferred them to a live trap and immediately applied Advantage and reassured them.

Then I went after the other two. The calico mother moved them back through the horsewire fence, that's weed overgrown and falling down in many spots.

That place has been let go. The neighbor lady who is so nice, the one who contacted me about getting them all fixed, said the new owner's let it go badly. It's got to be flea infested.

I found out the house people took the tame mother's three young kittens back, then decided to put them back outside and they took off. I was very disappointed and so was the nice neighbor. That little tame female mother cat, now spayed, was abandoned by one of the tenants who once lived there. Now those three kittens are loose again somewhere.

I had also gotten the torti mother fixed. She's true feral. She had two kittens survive. The nice nieghbor found them a home together.

The calico mom is very beautiful, but feral. She is the one with the four flea bitten kittens. I have three of them now. I have the torti, the flamepoint and the little black and white with the bit of orange. The Siamese kitten is out there with her mother. I tried to get her too. I stood there, like a statue still, hoping she'd walk within throw net range but she didn't ever.

I caught the torti kitten with my throw net. Then I put my fishnet atop that, to make sure she didn't get out of it and carried her back to my car dangling in my nets. I put her into a carrier.

I spent another hour stalking the final kitten but never caught the little Siamese, now with one bad eye. I came home with the three I had. Then came the long process of getting rid of their hordes of fleas. They were literally being eaten alive. Once they were free of them, they settled in to sleep.

I also treated them for round and tapeworms. They're going to have tapeworms for sure, having all those fleas.

The little Flamepoint wants to be loved. He thinks he's saved and can't stop purring and thing is, I can't take another here. I'm crammed with cats and I don't get adoption inquiries you know. I've tried. God knows I've tried. I've made and posted fliers and all sorts of things. And no luck. No luck at all. I wish I had an adoption venue, where these wonderful cats and kittens could be seen.

Poor little flamepoint boy. Thinks he's been saved and he hasn't been. All he's been is rid of his fleas, for a little while. They'll be back on him, because that house is infested and the grounds and he lives there, under it all. In plain sight he begs. Begs to be loved and for a comfortable place to sleep. All the passersby pass him by. Like he's a ghost already, dead not buried, little flamepoint body still and cold and stiff in the flea crawling brown dead grass among the plodding human feet.

Little flamepoint strays don't get buried. Not even those who wanted loved. They get eaten. By the insects. Their longing eyes leave first and the rest of them, slowly, and they shrivel into the nothing they always were.

The little boy is known to only a few human eyes. Mine for two. Mine. Mine mine mine. Mine can't forget those eyes of blue, those eyes who long so quietly for just little things, like love and a comfortable place to sleep. They'll haunt my dreams I know. Haunt my well haunted dreams.

The Siamese still out there with his mom, with his flea bitten calico mom and the big black and white, who is neutered now, and the orange tom who isn't.

Why am I cursed to care for these strays when others so easily look away?

Why can't I forget them?

They look at me and I do not see a cat at all. I see right through that form into a soul that communicates with me like we're the same. Just shimmering particles of light. Our forms are different shapes is all. I confess I do not see cats, really, in the manner you might think of, at all. I never have, I don't think. I see or sense something else entirely. If I was blind I'd still stop along the road and go right to a stray, I know. I'm trying to say I don't see their forms. We communicate or sense in different fashion. I know that sounds crazy to all of you. And I can't explain it.

I have three beautiful souls in my garage resting, at least free from the parasites eating them alive.

I can't find anywhere to get them fixed. My kitten fixing clinic really doesn't want to be the savior to the strays anymore. They want to be a regular business and I understand.

We have a big problem in this valley. And no solutions. I can't get anyone up in arms over it. I can't get the other fixers to stop long enough to even consider a long range solution. I can't rally anyone at all to the cause.

I have failed the strays here.

We Strays Must Stick Together

Friday, August 17, 2007

Alexi the Beautiful Battles Toy Mouse

Les Schwab Patriot Spy Program Tells Me: "We Know What You Do With that Car"

Les Schwab is apparently engaging in domestic spying on its customers. Today, when I went in for tire rotation, and to ask how bad the tread wear is, I was told the treads are near the "replace tires" mark. These tires have less than 40,000 on them. I said "I don't think these tires you sold me have worn very well."

That's when I got the Schwab employee response: "My guys know what you do with that car." I didn't know how to take that or even what he could mean. Did he think I was engaged in making cat porn flicks or maybe cat prostitution? He spat out the words, like he was disgusted and that what I did was dirty and awful.

He went on to tell me that I use the car for commercial use, because I haul cats in it to the vet for fixing, so they would not honor any tire mileage warranty if I buy tires there again. Later he changed his story, to say I could buy tires one more time there, and the warranty would be honored, but only for one more set. This change in his tune came only when I asked to talk to the manager because I wanted to make an official complaint.

His determination that I use my vehicle commercially was entirely subjective, like spying. Nobody is safe, you know, if they decide what you do is commercial, even when it isn't, your warranty won't be honored.

In retrospect, I should have burst out laughing. One guy told me later I should have said, "So your founder is dead and you've decided to piss on his grave." I'm not good with such quick smart ass responses. Not til way later.

I tried to defend myself by stating commercial use means business use, using your car in a business endeavor that makes money. I don't do that, I said. I haul cats to and from the vet. I don't put anymore weight in the car doing that than say a commuter would, hauling two more people, or even one, if they were fat.

It wasn't any of Schwab's business to make a judgement about how I use my car. So, if somebody hauls kids back and forth to soccor games, is that commercial use, too? Schwab could make that judgement, should they want to, according to this employee's subjective judgement against how I choose to use my car.

He said I use it like a mail carrier, making lots of stops and turns. No I don't. I don't make a lot of stops and turns. And I don't even use it everyday.

I tried to tell him that the founder, Mr. Schwab himself, were he alive, would be horrified if a store manager made a subjective decision like that, subjective and punitive against a volunteer. He didn't care.

I have been having menopausal symptoms lately and when in such a state, I can't think rapidly or even form words well. So I stumbled around for words, after being shocked, in a public manner, by this manager of the Les Schwab on 9th St. in Corvallis, with such punitive and discriminatory statements. At least I gathered myself together enough to flip off their building when leaving.

I have never in my life been treated like that at Les Schwab before. What a blackspot that person's behavior is on a company. I guess he and "his guys" maybe don't like cats.

Actually, I think he was trying to drive me off, knowing the tires they sold me are shit and haven't worn well at all, and will fall apart long before they reach 45,000 miles.

I will file a letter with the company's main office. And, like I told this man, "There are other tire stores in the valley."

Watching UFO Videos on YouTube

Last night, menopausal and in pain, I couldn't sleep. So, I entertained myself watching Youtube UFO videos. These are home made videos, for the most part, although one was allegedly made by one of the space shuttles, in which they allegedly were followed by objects that then formed a circle, with one brighter light in the middle, did a sort of light show, before disappearing. The narrator said there maybe all sorts of unseen forces or events in the atmosphere.

Many of the other videos, like one taken by two boys at a lakeshore in the dark involved two close bright lights. The one taken by the boys showed a second two light object zoom up to the other, move off, zoom forward, then move off again. They had night vision capacity on their camera. One boy was trying to rationalize the lights, saying maybe it was experimental planes. The other guy kept exclaiming "Dude, I'm getting this all on tape. What are we seeing out there?"

In a series of tapes from Australia, most homemade, the lights seemed to appear as balls, that travelled in a series, then would suddenly zoom off. One video showed someone walking into the water in Florida, but if the video was slowed down, to one frame at a time, one could see a flat shaped object in three frames, obviously travelling at a very high rate of speed, low, not far off the water.

In our day and age of easy video enhancement and alteration, it's hard to know what has been manufactured and what is real video of actual event.

I got to thinking about all these videos last night, overwrought from neck pain and hormonal exasperations.

I got to thinking about some of our world wonders, like the pyramids and Stonehenge, too. Sometimes, the building of ancient wonders, has been attributed to alien visitation.

I began thinking about this in relation to our worlds propensity for attributing the unknown to God and what is a god. Would unknown forces in our atmosphere be aliens or angels or could they be one and the same?

An alien is a creature not of this planet. God, if we believe in him or her, would likely qualify, being not of this Earth.

There have been some cults that mix alien and religion.

I don't have any answers.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Hit on Craigslist Bike Ad

I posted the BMX bike I won, as for sale on craigslist and in the barter section, too. Today someone contacted me from the for sale ad, someone named Kimberly.

I hope they are truely interested. I hope this person is not really a theif hoping to steal the bike. I don't trust much anymore. Anyhow, I have security measures in effect now, for if anyone comes over I don't know, like to look at rescued cats.

I had a hundred dollars stolen a few weeks ago, by someone claiming they were interested in a rescued kitten. So, I only adopt in the garage now. Or even out front. Nobody comes inside, not unless I have someone else here or I know the people.

It's too bad you can't automatically trust that a person who might express interest in a kids bike is honest. But you can't.

Unfit for Human Consumption Today

Menopausal. Neck pain. Tired. Fed up. These things add up to TROUBLE! Don't mess with me today!

I started having menopausal symptoms, which I get every few months, yesterday, but didn't think much of them, because they were mild.

This morning, menopausal symptoms started immediately, in hot flashes, sudden bursts of anger, and sudden desire to sob. Thankfully, these events are becoming rare, but they still happen, about every two months and last a few days. I also will suddenly start sweating during these times. This goes with the hot flashes.

My neck is a mess from helping those contractors dig out post holes for the fence. I knew I'd pay for that.

Then I blew it big time. I had thought my cat appointments were for Friday. They're today. I didn't see that on my calandar until almost 11:00 p.m. last night.

I had returned the five cats to the Bike Fence colony, including the three adult females, all of whom were pregnant. I set up a selective trap, to drop with a rope, for the male, still on the loose.

She left a message by the time I got home, she'd caught him, but that he smelled like a skunk. I figured I'd get him sometime today and he'd be fixed tomorrow.

Well, wrong on all counts. It was too late to call her back, when I discovered my reservations were for today.

I called a Peoria woman with a female needing fixed, even though it was late. Fortunately she could bring her cat with her to work today and I did pick her up this morning. I tried for a short time to trap cats this a.m. at the downtown colony where there are still two big males, a female and four flea ridden teens, who will not live another week if they are not caught and treated for fleas and parasites. But I couldn't catch any, because of the hordes of other cats milling about and the fact my remote control selective was broken. I didn't know this. I had last loaned it out to Roger K. The front is badly bent.

So I gave up there, but I wasn't happy, being tired, fed up, in pain and menopausal. I wanted some of these neighbors, many of them home all day long, for some reason, to start watching traps. So many people are watching these kittens die.

I began cursing Albany again, loudly, as I drove. I headed to the BS, knowing there was at least one tame male I could contain easily who wasn't fixed. I saw the other one there, the wilder one and set up a selective, but the woman, still in robe, starting interfering, which is kind of a problem when that happens, when people don't listen. So she ended up trying to shove him into the trap by hand, as I was asking her, AGAIN, not too, and he rushed off. I wasn't happy again, with this person, for not listening. For gosh sakes. Then she tells me "WE missed a female in the back barn and she has three new kittens."

People say "we", referring to her and I, to try to take the burden of responsibility off themselves and share it. I was in no mood to share responsibility for yet another unfixed female out there having kittens. I didn't say a word, but I slammed that trap and huffed around and threw it in my car and drove off cursing under my breath.

I delivered the two cats to the clinic and told them my woes briefly and about the male, sitting in a trap over south of Corvallis, and that I had been unable to get ahold of that woman this a.m., to see if anyone could drive him over. The tech said if I felt like driving over and getting him, to go ahead, they'd do him. I was relieved. I drove over and picked him up and took him to the clinic. Now I don't have to think about that colony for another two months, when the three remaining kittens are big enough to be fixed at Countryside. I had been exhorted last night, when I picked up the five, because of the two kittens being too little for them to do there. They want them four pounds. They did them anyway, thank god. One was a female and one a male. The other three will have to wait a couple of months.

Afterwards, I couldn't help but think about those sick kittens. So I went back over, but it was a scene, I tell you. Free roaming dogs, bands of adult druggee types, people walking the sidewalk startling the kittens, which of course was not their fault. And then the remote selective being busted. I hadn't a chance in the world.

I threw my nets in the car, angry at myself, and drove home.

I am staying home.

I am unfit for human consumption today.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Miss Daisy's Too Cute Video

Cattyhop Adoption Video

Five Bike Fence Cats Up Being Fixed

Heartland had referred an old woman, living out south of Corvallis, to me for help. She's 75, has MS, cuts her prescription pills in half, so she can afford them, and to make ends meet, still works part time. Husband is dead and got mixed up before he died, with all the insurance stuff. She said he would get a bill from the clinic, and instead of sending it to one of their supplemental insurances or ignoring it, since the clinic I think was supposed to bill insurance, he would think he had to pay it, and would, thereby eating up every bit of savings they had. It's all a big mess, she said. She tried getting some of all that money back from the clinic, but she said that's impossible. So now she's struggling badly, just to survive.

She asked me if I owned my own home. I said I didn't. She told me some social worker once told a friend of hers she should always put, on any hospital paper at Good Samaritan that you sign, if they ask if you rent or own, put "rent", otherwise they'll take your house and leave you homeless if you can't pay your bill in full.

I've heard of those things happening, but have never been sure if it's true, that hospitals take a lot of homes from people, like old people, too, leaving them homeless and destitute, due to medical expenses.

When returning once, from trapping the Hull Oaks Lumber Mill cats, I had taken a back road short cut back into Corvallis, and seen the bike fence along the road in front of this house. There are all sorts of old bikes attached to the fence. It's quite decorative. I had taken a photo and even posted it on this blog.

So it was the bike fence house woman who needed cat help. She said that bike fence has even been on the news before. It is very cool.

She was feeding strays and told me over the phone three were pregnant. So I moved her up on the list above others, who called first. I selectively trapped the three pregnant females. Five black kittens would dart into the trap and around your feet, savagely competing for any food. After catching the three adult females, I caught a couple of them, hoping, despite being borderline four pounds, the vet would do them anyway. I could go all the way up to Salem with them, to be fixed, if I had to. I prefer not to drive that far for fixes, if I can get away with not going that far.

There is a fourth adult, a male, but he wasn't around last night. So there are four more there needing fixed---three more black kittens and the male. But the preggies are getting done today, at least. Some of these kittens are from the last litter of the now very pregnant black female. I was fearful there would be kittens in my car this morning.

Black very pregnant adult female.
One of the two black kittens I took in, not being able to estimate if they are quite four pounds or not. There are five black kittens, from various litters of the three adult females. Countryside Vet doesn't spay cats until four pounds or four months.
The second black kitten up today, hopefully being fixed.
Adult pregnant torti female, although she is mostly light orange. She has some black spots and some white. This is an unusual torti coloration scheme.
Another adult orange female.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I Won a BMX Bike!

I won a boys Mongoose BMX bike! Yup. It's worth about $100! I had put an entry form into a drawing at Shop n Kart. I go there to get Money Orders sometimes. And then I forgot about it. The prize that caught my eye was a $100 shopping spree at Shop N Kart. I won the boys BMX bike.

Even so, I was ecstatic. I WON something. I AM A WINNER!

Now, what to do with a kids bike.

Might try to sell it on craigslist, but I would imagine some cop cruising craigslist for stolen goods would think I stole it. If I sell something on craigslist, which so far I've had zero luck doing, I ask for cash only.

I checked it's value online. It's a $100 bike brand new. I will try selling it for $85.

Cats, cats and more cats......

We cat fixers in Linn County can't get ahead of the game. This is primarily due to limits on the numbers we can get fixed each week. The limits are due to having only a couple of clinics who will do low cost fixes. Most cats taken in for fixing from Linn County by myself and KAT have their surgeries in Marion County, which adds driving time and costs.

To get over the hump, to fix more cats than are being born in Linn County, we would drastically need to increase numbers fixed each week. Can't do that without access to high volume low cost fixes. We don't have such access around here. If we could fix more than reproduce for a few months, we'd get ahead of the game, and make huge progress.

I have been called or e-mailed by a lot of people in the last days. Many want me to come trap a mother stray and her kittens and take them away. I don't return those calls or e-mails, other than to tell them I can help with getting them fixed, if they take responsibility for finding them homes or feeding them. After e-mailing that to at least three seperate individuals in the last couple of days, I got no further response.

Someone e-mailed me from Harrisburg to say there was a mother and kittens living by a school and she was sure they would be killed if I didn't come trap them and take them away immediately. I told this person I could help get them fixed, but I couldn't take on anymore cats. I did not get another response.

Someone named Shannon e-mailed me saying she was a fellow feral lover and was feeding unfixed strays and her landlord wanted her to reduce her cat numbers and could I take them. I again said I couldn't, but that I could help get them fixed, and also suggested SafeHaven vouchers to help her get her house cats fixed and to help others in her complex fix their house pets. I got no response back.

A woman e-mailed to say a mother had been abandoned where she lives and had kittens and could I come take them all immediately. Had to tell her the same thing.

I even got a call from the long lost Philomath FCCO coordinator, N, two nights ago. I hadn't heard from him since last May. He had a call from a woman in Peoria who claimed she found two kittens at the boat ramp and now that she had rescued them, she wanted someone else to take care of them, treat them for URI's, get them fixed, and find them homes. N was asking if I could take them and I said I couldn't.

I have like 20 or more here. I did get a donation from the same Portland couple, who have helped me so kindly before. They directed that I use their donation on myself, for a change, and I intend to do that, like getting some clothes or decent food or something. THANK YOU MIKE AND LINDA!

Other than that, I haven't had a dime in donations, like of cat food or litter, nothing.

Linn County has a big problem. Many residents want their problems solved but don't want to pay for their problems to be solved or for permanent solutions. Same with taxes here. Residents for the most part howl, if taxes are mentioned. You get what you pay for. There are no services or niceties in Linn County.

Linn County used to be the animal welfare state of Benton County and Corvallis, with residents taking their excess cats by the hundreds each month, over to Heartland to be killed, on Benton County and Corvallis citizens and Heartland's dime. Now Heartland is refusing to do this for Linn County, and rightfully so. So residents turn to the people like me, no matter if we live poor, on SSI, to feed off of, wanting free services right now, or god damn it! It's brutal over here.

And this mentality is really very pathetic in so many ways.

Well, anyhow, I hope to run away very soon, far far away from anywhere extremely right wing and Christian, because, for some reason I can't quite figure out, such communities seem to be exceptionally negligant on personal responsiblity and compassion.


I've been whining too much lately. I whine primarily when I'm very very exhausted and lonely. I am a lucky person, really, with a great life. No, I don't like living in Albany, but I like the house I live in very much and I like what I do. At least I have a roof over my head. Lots of people don't.

Having social contact/friends is very important to me. Yes, I'm lonely. I wish I had family or friends nearby. I don't, so I need to accept that and move on and do the best I can anyhow.

Kitten on My Shoulder Video

Spicer Boys Adoption Video

Purrly Adoption Video

Alexi Adoption Video

I renamed Dia, one of the Siamese mix kittens from Fern Road, Alexi.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Summer is Passing

I wanted so badly to get away this summer, but, unfortunately, I don't have anyone to take care of the kitties, so I can leave for even a couple of days. And, I am no longer thrilled with camping alone. I have camped and hiked alone all my life. I scuba dived and climbed mountains alone in my younger days. I never wanted to do these things alone, but I never had anybody to do these things with. Rather than not do them, I went alone.

I suppose if I can solve the cat care issue, I'll just go alone again. It's not as much fun to do things alone. It's so much more fun to have somebody to share experiences with, to chat with, to joke and laugh with, to oohhh and aaahhh with over natural wonders and the joys of jumping in a still mountain lake in the morning.

But oh how I long to get away from all the noise and traffic and concrete. How I long to sit by a campfire as it crackles and flickers. How I long to stare into the stars from the shore of a mountain lake.

I am starving to death here in Albany. I am starved for all things nutritional. Like something natural. Like a lake or a clean river. Like a view of the stars. Like silence.

Junk food living. My arteries are clogging on it. Concrete. Trucks. Screaming. Sirens. Sidewalks. Shopping malls. Billboards. Litter. Loud music. porch lights blocking out the night.....there's no relief to be found.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Garden To Be

Next year, I'll plant a garden. My yard is big enough to hold my lawn chair and a garden. Outside of a peaceful getaway for me to sit beneath a tree on a lawn chair in the shade, what good is an expanse of manicured grass but wasted space on a crowded planet?

It's a ridiculous concept to me, to waste space or to waste time tending to an expanse of manicured grass.

Next year, I'm planting a garden. A food garden.

I've been learning from some of the folks where I've been trapping cats. The BS people have a large garden and have been giving me cukes, potatoes, squash and broccoli from that garden. I ask questions of her...."How hard is this to grow? How deep do you plant potatoes? Are the beans more work than they are worth?"

They got 400 pounds of potatoes from a few rows last year. They store them for use in the winter. "Keep them in a cool dry place", she said. "Like a root cellar?" I asked. "Yes, like a root cellar," she said, "only we don't have one of those, so we just put them in boxes in the shed."

The Millersburg colony older couple told me to grow mint on the fringes, then to till that into the garden dirt because it turns bad clay soil into rich soil.

I've already got a net cage in mind to build, on a light frame, to keep out unwanted guests from my garden. Like the ones who will want my blueberries. I am going to plant a blueberry bush, several of them.

I am excited about growing my own fresh food. I'll grow peppers and broccoli and carrots and squash and corn and beans and maybe a few other vegetables. And Blueberries and I want a plum tree. There was a plum tree out back of my old place in Corvallis. In the summer, for breakfast, I'd go out back and pick some plums to eat. And then I'd go down the road and pick some blackberries on top of that.

I've been eating maybe a little too much zucchini this summer. But I do love it. Along with the normal Oregon summer munchies--the blueberries, blackberries and plums.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

The N. Albany Murder

I'm a romantic I suppose. And that is why I believe the man who sustained the least injuries did the dirty deed of killing his wife and shooting the younger man. My belief is tainted, as I said, by my romanticism.

What man would leave the house and let his wife face someone wielding a gun, alone? No real man would.

In first reports, an article stated the man arrived at a neighbors house bloody saying someone had been shot. In a later report, it was said he left the house before any shots were fired. Contradictions, right there.

And there's this, if an altercation was occuring in which the younger man hit the older man on the head, if the younger man actually had a gun, he wouldn't have hit Hardin on the head with something, he would have shot him.

The gun was found in the bedroom. The younger man on the deck, with a shot to his head.

I don't know what happened there, but, the fact the wife got shot might have me leaning towards adultery, younger man and this man's wife, but I don't know that. Younger man tries to defend self and mistress by hitting husband on head with heavy object. Husband has gun and shoots both of them. That sort of thing.

Second scenario: Maybe the wife wanted the younger man out of there, for whatever reason---too much beer drinking, laziness or whatever. Arguement ensues. And someone shoots someone, two someone's get shot and one someone gets a bloody head.

Third scenario: husband and younger man are fighting. Woman finds their gun, and shoots younger man, then kills herself, or younger man, then gets gun from her while still concious and shoots her. This doesn't sound real feasible, since the husband didn't say a thing about this, and would have been present when this happened. So, this scenario doesn't fly, given his "escape"/chicken shit running away. You leave your wife alone with someone like the younger man for two reasons: One, you're a chicken shit, or two, you've just shot them both.

The gun was found in the bedroom. As was the wife. The younger man was out on the deck, when found. The gun wasn't beside him. If you shoot someone then turn the gun on yourself, why would drop the gun and head out to the deck to drop? That sounds more like someone trying to get away. Plus, someone else heard a woman screaming before shots were fired. This tends to rule out the woman as the shooter.

The unshot survivor claims he was not there when shots were fired. At least once he claimed that. Yet he and the younger man struggled, he claims, at the phone when he was trying to call 911. If so, where was the gun then? Then he left? And what happened then? And why would he leave with a violent man in his house, especially if there was a gun, and his wife there, too? Chicken shit? Why wouldn't the wife leave, if she had not been shot yet, to call for help then, if he couldn't? Nobody had a cell phone among them? This doesn't add up.

Here's what adds up, in my opinion. The wife didn't leave to call for help from a neighbors because she couldn't, because she'd been shot, and the younger man then attacked the husband with a heavy object, having no gun himself, after the husband shot his wife, and then was shot also. That's what adds up when you think about it.

Well whatever. Enough detective work from a chair for today.

Both men will survive this. The woman died. I think both of them should be put in jail forever.