W is for Not So Wonderful Worry

W is for Worry.

I've done too much of that lately.

My day was done on Saturday when a neighbor demanded I do something about his problem, of a stray cat who lives in his backyard.  He called him a mean street cat, but the cat isn't mean at all.  In fact, the cat is elderly.  He claimed he has asthma, as good reason for me to drop everything and take the cat away.  I said, "Why don't you quit smoking then, if you have asthma so bad that if a cat sleeps in your backyard it bothers you so much you have vile wishes for his future?"  I stalked off then, and kicked a bucket as I went through my yard, came inside, hid my head in Miss Daisy's fur and cried, Worried for the safety of that poor cat.

My day was done then.  I was nonfunctional.  I don't know why it hit me so hard.  He claimed the removal of the trees will make the neighborhood so much nicer, no places for rats or cats.  He knows I love cats and probably said that to just be mean and make me sad.

I love people, you see, but I can't find people here who want to laugh and joke and pet cats or do anything.  I'm not very good with people, finding the right words at the right time, particularly when under stress.  I wish I was better at this skill but I'm not.  Comes from a life time spent alone and too much abuse.  That's why I find great joy with animals.

Last night, I slept not, over the light in my eyes from the neighbors new outside lighting, pointed into my bedroom window.   I couldn't fathom anyone doing that to a neighbor.  I just could not summon within me the understanding of why someone would even turn the night to day like that.  There's no need.  I hope she just doesn't know how badly it affected me, the way its pointed.  I hope she comes home tonight and changes it.  I sent her an e-mail, but I also contacted the city, to find out if there is a code here regarding light trespass and there is.  So I can use that, if need be, to stop it.  But I hope she just changes it and there's no conflict otherwise.

Finally, early morning, desperate to get a bit of sleep, I went out in my pj's with a little step ladder and a long white plastic bag and some cord.  I drilled a little hole in the eaves and screwed in an eye hook.  I removed the hanging plant basket from a cup hook, and to these two pieces of hardware, I tied the ends of the plastic bag, hoping to shield my bedroom from some of the light.  It didn't work very well.

I finally got up, Worried over a confrontation with the neighbor.   How would I talk to her about it.  I don't do well in face to face encounters.  I stutter and the right words do not come out.

I rounded up Buffy and Chessie, to go over to Heartland to get vet dental check ups and anything bad removed.  Wasn't easy to corral them but I got it done, then picked up three KATA cats for transfer over to Heartland to be fixed, too.  Now I'm home and waiting on an inspection, but I want to sleep, and without dreams, or if there be dreams, I want beautiful and happy ones.

 I want to thank Dianna and Andrew and Sharon for their generous contributions which will cover the costs today for Buffy and Chessie.   It makes me feel good too, when I get donations for the cats here from far away, and from people I have never met but who seem like old friends.

W is for Non Wonderful Worry.

Well, What is Wonderful news is that the neighbor says the lights being on like that was accidental.  I am relieved.