Saturday, December 18, 2010

What Am I Doing Christmas?


One brother and part of his family are renting a condo in central Oregon. I am not invited.

The other brother is very vague about what he is doing, and brief and won't answer if I call.

I began guilt calling him. I call him, but I don't leave a message, to see if he'll ever respond. It's been a very long time since I talked to that brother. Sometimes I get very short e-mail replies, like maybe six word responses. My other brother said to guilt call him four times in a row, like something is terribly wrong, and maybe he would answer, but I didn't have the minutes to do that. Otherwise, I would have.

And what about him, going off to some condo for Christmas, not inviting his dear sister? That should provoke guilt but he feels none. Something wrong there.

So it will be once again yours truely and the cats here for Christmas. Who needs the angst of trying to force a family to include me? Not me.

My brothers are very busy people and probably would cancel Christmas if they could. I know other people who would do so in a second if allowed. One in particular left me a message, saying, with attitude, in the message "You know this is my favorite time of year...." Hahaha. She didn't say why she was trying to get ahold of me, but I had an inkling.

I left her a message back, saying "I do not want you to have another heart attack. Do not think for a minute we need to do something because I'm alone, it's Christmas, that whole pile of holiday guilt trip shit. We'll do something in say February!" I wasn't really joking. I meant it. She gets too stressed at Christmas, trying to do it all for everyone. What fun is that?

I know retailers depend on the whole Christmas commercialism thing. But I think it kills the joy, brings on the guilt, drives families apart, and gives people heart attacks and long lasting debt.

I say, Don't waste time in frantic buying of things people don't need or want-- enjoy one another instead. It would make Christmas something to look forward to. Lights, decorations and get togethers, now that's a merry christmas.

At least it is to me.

If I could give my brothers anything, I would give them three days of just plain old relaxation...some movies, some books, some hot chocolate, maybe drugged with something, so they would just sleep away three whole days and end up happy, rested and refreshed. That's what I'd like to give them.

If I could give something to Poppa Inc.'s president, it would be money on her vet's account, to pay for visits for the rescues that need things there. Then I would give her homes for most of her fosters, and I would give her a years supply of cat food and cat litter and that would be a very fine gift for her.

Let's see, for Jeanne in Baltimore, if I could give her anything, hmmmm, to be honest, I don't know her well enough to say, but, how about a college scholarship for her son, a year of rent, free power for a year, and SAGE!!!!!!, delivered by me. And then, while there, she could take me on an all expenses paid by I don't know who, tour of Baltimore. I would stay in a motel, which would be paid for by Oprah Winfrey for some reason, so there would be no conflicts over the shower or sleeping schedules or whatever.

If I could give Joy something, it would be to pay off her dogs vet bill, a permanent trip back to Germany for her neighbor, fixing for all the cats she cares for and a years supply of cat and dog food, to ease her expenses.

For Jenny in Nebraska, also spays and neuters for the cats she cares for and that her mother cares for and at her workplace, which we would accomplish secretly in the dark for purposes of job security. Then, I would grant her a house of her own in which to live and unlimited telephone coverage for the nation for all long distance calls she wants to place.

For Kate and Ned, a home of their own, and a trust fund, so Kate, Ned too, never have to work again. Space for all the animals they can muster, including Tiny Tim's offshoots here: Meesa and the Quirkies, Echo and Fantasia. And a travel fund, so I can visit them down in sunny HB.

For Midori, my saintly WA friend, a place in heaven because she deserves it, animal heaven that is. And, vet care for all her rescues, and a mansion with all bills paid including property taxes forever. I am getting more and more grandeous in my gift wishes, aren't I, and maybe I should call it quits.

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