Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Pharmaceuticals Declare "Rollicking Sickfest" to be Psychiatric Condition. Announce Pill to Combat This Disease.

Only days after a rural Oregon woman coins a new term to describe the American economy, Rollicking Sickfest, ailing pharmaceutical Pfizer announces that the American Psychiatric Association has declared it to be a psychiatric illness and quickly added it to the DMSO. Pfizer will very shortly unveil its new little pink pill to combat this deadly new illness.

The FDA says the pill will likely be approved for sale throughout the world in a few hours.

One Rollicking Sickfestonomist believes the little pink pill will become the little engine that could, and drive world money markets into black ink. Already Americans are lining up at pharmacies, community health clinics and emergency rooms, clamoring for prescriptions.

Fearful violence will break out, some ER's have begun handing out sugar pills and charging $200 for a 30 count bottle. One hospital administrator was quoted as saying, "our hospital is already beginning to prosper. To think, last week, due to soaring debt, we considered closing our doors."

One mother, asked about her purchase of ten bottles at the ER door said candidly, "When we heard on the news about Rollicking Sickfest being a disease, my husband and I met eyes. We then knew why we couldn't pay our mortgage. I'm sick and so are my kids and so are our neighbors. We'd rather spend the money on pills to get well, than on fancy foods like fruits and vegetables. We'll be all right now." She smiled stoically, clutching the pharmaceuticals in one hand while fumbling for car keys with the other.

Will the little pink pill spark a "rollicking" new start to economies worldwide? This reporter is feeling a whole lot better about things. I took my little pink pill with a good long slug of whiskey. Maybe I'll take another. There's still whiskey in the bottle.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Forgetmenot

 Forgetmenot, the black kitty I forgot to take to the FCCO with the 13 others from her colony, is a little girl, and was fixed yesterday. Du...