Celebrate with me tonight. Celebrate life in all its beautiful agony. The sorrows of rejection by SafeHaven are nothing. Not really. Petty and minor. When I die, I will be forgotten quickly, as we all are. Life is cheap and fast, over in a whisper. There is no sense wasting a moment of it over petty ruminitions. Well, ok, a few moments spent in darkness, if laughed over later, perhaps can only improve on a person.
What am I saying? Celebrate. Life is beautifully imperfect. I embrace my faults. And yours, too. Faults and mistakes are nothing really. Think about space and time and the universe. My faults and yours, our worries equal the worries of ants. Or dust. Or nothing.
We're all fuck ups and I celebrate that, too. List your faults for me! Ohhhh, you're ten pounds over weight, twenty? Wow, the world may end. Ohhhh, you're out of money and in debt? Walk away, live under the bridge. Live with your parents or a neighbor, a friend and you'll be ok one day. You're ok now. We can lose everything and still retain our senses of humor, our souls, our selves. It's hard, but it can be done. To shed everything and stay the same.
There's a whole lot of judging going on in this world. Of ourselves, of one another, of people we don't know and have never met. We should all meet naked of all possessions and forgive one another each his or her faults. Nobody's perfect. Celebrate this moment we are all alive!
Here's to you, all of you. I mess up all the time. We all do. Let's forget it, at least tonight and marvel at that glorious sky of stars.
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Over and Done
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"I embrace my faults. And yours, too."
ReplyDeleteI express that kind of sentiment sometimes. Funny how I'm always alone when I do. It's harder to be so charitable when I'm actually with the people whose faults I thought to embrace.
So much of what you write sounds like what I think--and sometimes write.
I guess I want to leave the SafeHaven thing behind, in my mind at least. I suppose that's why I wrote it, to help myself "leave it behind". Rejection is painful. The walk of shame, being told to go get the kittens, all those employees inside around whom I probably got talked about, it's hard for me. Might help if I had people around me, for support. I don't know, because I don't have a support system and really never have. Seems like it would be easier to bear put downs, rejections, hardships, problems if a person had friends or family for support, but I don't know that it really is.
ReplyDeleteMaybe in part it is our age, Snowbrush? As I get older, I've devoted far less time to grudges and sadness than I used to. Like you said in one post of yours "Time is short". How is your medical issue? Are your shoulders any better?
ReplyDelete"I don't have a support system and really never have."
ReplyDeleteI haven't either, or at least I haven't had one that (a) lasted, and that (b) I greatly valued. I've become so disillusioned by instances in which I falsely thought I did (such as with co-counseling), that I try to not want one too much because doing so makes it easy to imagine that there is more to something than there is.
"As I get older, I've devoted far less time to grudges and sadness than I used to."
I wish I could say the same.
"Are your shoulders any better?"
The steroid shots made them almost better than new. This feeling will wear off in a month or two, so I'm working out really hard (hours per day) with my physical therapy exercises. It feels SO GOOD to be able to do the kind of hard labor I enjoy again. I'm even undertaking some carpentry projects.