The Crucifixion of Sam Adams

May as well hire the carpenter to start building the cross on which Sam Adams' crucifixion will be made complete. Which Portland high spot shall we use to set up that cross? Shall we flog him on the way up? A stormy day would add dramatics to the Crucifixion for youtube videos.

You may as well make two crosses, one for the young man, too. You just may as well.

Who volunteers to pound in the nails? Who will break his legs?

Sam Adams is no Neil Goldshmidt. Goldschmidt used his power and age differential to molest a child and destroy her life. I'd volunteer for driving the nails through Goldshmidts' hands. I surely would. Being abused as a child can make one fantasize such acts.

My reality, however, is I've already long forgiven Goldschmidt his crimes and moved on. Sure I rant about it now and then, usually when I'm having upsets over my own past and want vengeance somewhere and blood from someone.

This destroyed young life's on your shoulders, Portland. Did you happen to notice that young man's life you're rolling over in your glowing red eyed fervor?

I moved on from the Sam Adams scandal within hours. I can't relate enough to find a reason to hate him.

Sam Adams had sex with a consenting adult. Unless someone proves conclusively otherwise, Portland should move on. All I see on the news now are clowns. All I see are hoodlums screeching for blood because they're bored drama kings and queens. Or have agendas beyond Sam Adams. And bigger than Sam Adams, too.

Oh, you say, he lied about it. Of course he did. He wanted to get elected and he knew the reaction people would have, if he said he, a man of 44, had sex with a kid of 18. It is disgusting. But it's not illegal. If you want to fry his soul for that, then make it illegal first.

And lying. What a crime. And you don't lie? Of course you do. Everybody does.

I heard some protester saying "Now, I can never trust him. I want him to resign, to be gone, because we don't need corruption in City Hall." Lying over sex isn't corruption, ok mister. It has no bearing on how he might run your lovely city. Corruption is taking bribes, doing favors for lobbyists, profiteering off war, trying to sell a Senate seat, skimming money off the books, that kind of thing. Corruption isn't lying over whether one slept with someone or not. Sorry. It's just lying, and everybody lies.

Tell me about the last time you lied and why you did it. Sure Sam Adams lies were sincere and interlaced and twisted up and extensive. Sick stuff. But I bet he's learned a lesson. He seems sincerely horrified. I can't even stand to watch the news, because its so damn petty, and I think of the mistakes I've made, that are not big but horribly embarrassing and how would I like laid bare before a million or more people naked to the soul, apologizing on my bloody knees but it's not enough.

Portlanders want his blood. I bet there's at least 1000 of them up there in their garages crafting crosses right now. Maybe a competition will arise or a lottery, to see whose cross will be the one used to crucify Sam Adams on a stormy Portland hilltop.

I won't even watch it. It's turned off for me now. I'd like to sneak into those garages and cut up those crosses to use to heat the homes of some poor seniors. A far better use for good wood.

Shut up, Portland, while you still can. You don't know it, but you're looking and sounding like a bunch of howling goons.

Who will be good enough for you. A saint maybe? I've never in my life met a saint.

Here's a suggestion for you, Portland. Go get yourself a blow up life size doll at the porn shop. Look for one with a flat smile and a lifeless stare. Dress it up any way you want and elect it your mayor. No messy flesh and blood. I think it's your perfect solution.