Today, About Yesterday

Today, I am still worn out. I couldn't get to sleep last night, despite my exhaustion, due to back and stomach pain. I finally got to sleep just after midnight and was awakened at 8:00 by a phone call from the people whose cat was fixed yesterday. She claimed her phone had not been working last night when I tried to call them, repeatedly about picking up their cat. However, I know this isn't quite the truth, since others reached them at same number. They were avoiding me, since they knew they were not going to be back to pick up their cat.

They agreed to meet me at 9:00 this morning to pick her up, but were even late then. They thanked me for getting her fixed, said they appreciate me, but if they actually did, they would have picked up their cat last night on time. I don't know why people think it's ok these days to not keep their word.

As for what happened with the NS family, well, that had been building for awhile. I should have talked to them before things peaked, about the tent issue and other issues, or, made a decision that if I was uncomfortable about how things were going, to either talk to them about it, or distance myself.

I suppose it all floats back to my own lonliness and desire to have companionship and friends and do something with people, my desperation for friendship and companionship that led to the events that transpired. I felt taken advantage of, when they took my tent without even asking, and would allude to doing something that day or the next, recreation-wise, then I wouldn't hear from them. Middle of July, same thing happened, me waiting, when in reality, they'd headed to northern California.

Yesterday, I should not have gone anywhere, once I picked up the two cats fixed yesterday in Jefferson, the pregnant female from Albany and the male from the Lebanon situation. I should have slept.

Well, at least I got my tent back. What they do, how they behave, that is their business. How I react to it, whether I choose to buy into it anyway, or not, that's my side of the situation and responsibility to figure out. They do an incredible service to Oregon, with their clinics--that I do know and appreciate.

I slept almost 8 hours last night. Once the cat went home, at 9:00, I slept two more hours. I need to sleep hours more, to catch up on sleep debt owed my body and my mind. I got in over my head again, with the Kitten Yard Kittens and the starved kittens out at BS. I did too much. Trying to also care for all those kittens and find them homes, too, it became overwhelming. Trying to shop for food and supplies, maintain the yard and house, clean the litterboxes, treat for earmites and everything else, overwhelming workload for one person.

I still have 11 kittens needing homes here, but I can't do anything about it, because of my exhausted state.