Kitten Yard Kittens Still Waiting for Homes and Braveheart, the Neutered Male from Waverly

In response to a City of Albany request of me to check out a duplex they had received complaints about, I went. Unfortunately, this cat was a stray there, allegedly dumped off by someone, but I suspect the former Camp Boondoggle resident, now living in the duplex, knows exactly where he came from. The landlord was threatening them with eviction if they fed him, so of course they quit feeding him. They had him inside, however, at one point, so I know they know where he came from. Anyhow, I felt bad for this lovely sweet male, and brought him home under the expectation the City would help get him into SafeHaven. I had also been told by the boondoggies that they had met a SafeHaven worker or board member at the fair who said they would take him in.

The city woman did say she would try to get him into SafeHaven, but then I never heard back from her. I e-mailed a SafeHaven board member, who said he would take him in until SafeHaven could, that weekend, then he never did. So I'm stuck with this lovely kitty and hope to place him. I'm not happy with promises broken. I'm not happy the city uses me as a shelter either, because man am I totally exhausted all the time and broke. I don't get paid for doing this and operate on nonexistant funds without any help, caring for all these cats.

I do want to leave Albany but see no way out of here. I am so worn out I can't even think most of the time anymore, inundated with calls and things are never going to change in this town. I never get a break. And I can't take one because I don't have anyone to take care of all the cats here.



Mamba, a sweet young black neutered male, from the trailer park, still needing somewhere.
Monkey, black male in back, that the woman was supposed to pick up after his neuter, along with Smokey, the Siamese, then Sizzle in the middle and Mamba up front. None of these kittens are feral, turns out, just initially shy. Now I have to think someone let their momma cat breed then kicked out the kittens. They've been handled before. I wish that woman who wanted my help over there, then pledged to take the three kittens she fed and their mother, would at least come pick up the two kittens she now says she'll take---Smokey, the Siamese, and Monkey, as she named the black male when she fed him. What is up with people asking for help, then abusing the person who helped them, by not keeping their word? Uncool behavior, to be sure.
Sizzle and Mamba.
This is Wipeout, the last kitten I trapped over there, not neutered so far.

My brother called today. They're leaving for a vacation in California. I suppose he was just telling me there were going to be gone, since he's my landlord. All summer he's said we'd all go camping together. Well I knew that wasn't going to happen, but it does hurt to realize it isn't going to happen. It hurts to be left out of everything.

I've always been the outcaste of the family. That's because of the embarrassing circumstances of my life, in relation to dear old dad, and what happened to me as a result--being tossed into the mental health system, drugged to the hilt by them, stuffed into low income hotels to rot and stare at the wall--my subsequent escape from the shrinks which was real cause for concern because I might talk about not only the extreme abuse I endured inside the system but expose the big family secret of dear old dad's behavior.

I've really only met one of my father's dozen siblings. They're dead now except his sister who might be dead, too. I stopped by her place once, when trapping in the Eugene area. She wanted to go out to lunch, but first she launched into me. She'd just talked to her brother---dear old dad, still alive then, who told her he was afraid I'd expose him, or write a book. I guess he wanted her to shut me up and she lit into me, about how he was my father and so he could behave in any manner he wanted towards me and if my mother watched it happen, then it was her fault too. Then she lit into me about how stupid helping cats was or trapping them and how anyone could do it. I walked out her door and never spoke to her again and never will.

I'm the thrown away family member, the sacrificial lamb. It is very hard, I tell you, very hard.

Well that woman finally called, who asked me to help in the first place over at the trailer park. She just woke up she said. She asked me to help with those kittens she fed, over months, but would never actually set up a time to do it, leading me to believe it was some kid, pulling my leg, because a normal adult would say "Ok, here's my address. Let's do it tomorrow," not draw it out for months. I did help her out. She said she would take in all three kittens she fed, plus their mother. Then she lowered it to taking two kittens which she was to get Friday, but never resonded to e-mails or phone calls. But she's taking two of the three kittens she fed at least.

I want all these cats out of here and I want to leave for good.

My brothers are not real family. I should have gone with my gut feelings two years ago, changed my name and severed ties completely. Now, because my brother is my landlord, he controls my fate. I need to sever the ties because if I maintain ties with my brothers, I keep thinking I'm going to be considered part of a family I've never been part of. So it prolongs my agony when, if I severed the ties for good, I might be able to move on.

It is hard to be alone in this world.