Catnip for Cops

Frustrated over the parking ticket issue, I wrote the following letter to the editor, appearing in today's Corvallis Gazette Times, offering catnip for cops, as a means to lighten attitudes, especially towards me, when volunteering. Please don't go after me for the letter, too, cops! I love some of you!


A little catnip might lighten cops’ mood

I want to offer the Corvallis Police Department, as a Christmas gift, some nice, potent, high-quality cat weed.

I offer this premium catnip with the respectful suggestion, that before they begin each patrol shift, all officers snort it, rub it all over their faces, and roll around in it on the ground.

The death of a homeless man sparked temporary good will toward the homeless.

I found a dead cat on the road near a camp and figured there must be more. When the homeless man came out, I said “Do you remember me?” He said, “You’re the cat woman. I got some cats need fixing again.”

I caught nine. Today I went to return the first five, now fixed. I retrieved one set trap, and came out to find a police officer ticketing my car.

I figured, naively, if a cop came along, Id tell him what I was doing, and they would say something like “Good job. Glad someone’s doing that.” But no.

I tried to point out I was doing community service at my own expense, that realistically, where else could I park to trap cats, without hauling them on foot a half mile or more.

Finally, I told them police are supposed to behave like friendly helpful community servants, not like Nazis.

Now, on top of the expense of this community service, I have a $45 parking ticket. Merry Christmas, Corvallis cops. Scrooge isn’t really a good role model.

So, I’m offering up the catnip. Warning: may cause playfulness; may decrease overly serious behaviors.