Monday, March 07, 2016

Neuter Boy

Today Maurice says bye bye to his balls.

About time.

They've done him no good.  They've made him hated with people who would like to see him dead, for tearing up their cats and costing them big vet bills.

Bye bye balls.  Bye bye battles and bad attitude.

Maurice, your new life begins today.

An unfixed male has no friends.

Freedom is yours.  No longer will your entire life be dedicated to hormonal urges--fighting and breeding.  Your brain will be back!

Maurice, be a good boy, once back in your hood, because those hormones will take a month or two to subside.  And it will take other cats and people in the area a long time to believe you've changed your ways.

Snip, snip.

If you survive those months, your future's so bright, you'll need to wear shades.

Breaking.....Maurice the cat has just received his doctorate in biochemical engineering.....

Breaking news in Science and Medicine....One year after getting himself neutered, Maurice the cat discovers a cure for cancer.....In an interview, Maurice claims he owes it all to the surgeon who neutered him.  "Otherwise," Maurice stated matter of factly, "if I encountered cancer, I'd just want to brawl with it, or" he looks down a little shamefully, "breed with it. But I'm a different cat now."

10 comments :

  1. The years and the drugs have made me a bit like Maurice.

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    1. I think we're all a bit like Maurice.

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  2. Ahhh... what a difference the balls make. My "station" at the clinic is just a few feet from the operating tables. We all laugh when they bring in those little chihuahuas.... they often have huge balls for their size! No wonder they are so loud and yippy... no wonder they'll take on a German Shepherd! (for a fight... or a female if they can reach her ;-) So, Maurice, you'll be a happier cat in a couple of months... now you can sleep in the sunshine without having to defend your territory... you just won't care. Peace, Maurice, Peace....

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    1. That's mostly what I remember of visiting my grandparents in Springfield, is the Chihuahuas, they had. Not fixed. The moment the door opened they'd be yapping and also, unfortunately, humping our legs. I'd try to shake them off my leg, but they'd just hang on, humping as I tried to shake one off. It was embarrassing to me, a young girl. But we all knew it was coming, every single visit. Yes, peace on earth, Maurice.

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  3. Yay for Maurice. And you.
    And I can think of a few humans who may well benefit from similar surgery.

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  4. Very amusing and a dawning of a peaceful life for Maurice.

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    1. Yes, give peace a chance

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  5. I liked Maurice's interview in the newspaper. Silly, but close to the truth. :)

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