Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Bitter People

I've been trying to get the old lady who feeds cats at that trailer park to cooperate in getting the rest fixed.  She won't.  Today I asked her straight up if she's ever going to let me complete the task.  She said "no."

I said you're only hurting those cats.  She said she feels the other people in the park should do it, that she's done her share.  I said you're the one who feeds the cats.  Letting them breed more will only make matters worse for them and ultimately they'll die.  She said "they probably will" but that the neighbors should help out, not her, that its not her fault.

Who cares who's fault it is, I said, they need fixed, and you're feeding them.  It's not costing you a thing to get them fixed.  But she is so bitter about her neighbors there's no talking to her.  She's so bitter she'd let the cats she claims to love be harmed over it.

 She also thinks she's done all the work to get them fixed.  That's a good one!

I have not detected her doing one thing to help when I've gone out.  In fact, quite the opposite.  She often slept while I trapped.  Her daughter once donated $30 for gas, but put it in the old woman's account to give me, and instead the old woman pocketed $10 of it and gave me $20.  I never told her daughter that.

I guess creating more unwanted cats out there is her revenge on the neighbors.  Or something.  She never did want them fixed.

All those nights, sitting out there, all the cat food I bought her, to appease her, because every time I'd go out she'd make it so hard, bitch so much about everybody and everything, try to stop me, feed the cats anyhow,  my stomach would knot with the stress.  It was her daughter who had asked KATA for help getting them fixed.  And it was handed off to me, when I wanted to feel useful, trapping again.

I have great disappointment over it all.  She would not give up the kittens either.   It's a tragic thing when people are so consumed with who to blame they can't just drop it to solve the problem and be done with it.

I went into cat wrangling, rounding up cats to be fixed, out of a disgust I developed for those who sit around crying as volunteers at shelters or over their computers in constant social media posts over the endless stream of suffering from all the unwanted cats and kittens being born and thrown out and turned over to shelters that would kill them by the thousands.   It was almost as if some people enjoy wallowing in sadness and if they can stew in it, like a religion, even better.

Why not do something about it, rather than cry over it.

Then you meet people like this old lady and its the same thing.  If all the cats were fixed, she could not cling to that bitterness over her neighbors not helping, as she sees it.  It's be a dead topic then.

The attitude still disgusts me.

She has some of my things, like a litter box I loaned her, a cinder block I use to weight the drop trap, a couple of carriers. I'll not get anything I loaned her back. You can't do enough for that old lady.    I'll forfeit my things to avoid exposing myself to that toxic place again.

The cats will be harder to leave behind in my mind.











10 comments :

  1. I am so sorry. And very glad that you are stepping away from that toxic environment.

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    1. Well she fought me every time I came out. Never wanted them fixed. Her daughter was the one who wanted it done, but the daughter has only so much sway and doesn't live there. I hate leaving it unfinished, but when you can't finish, you can't. I knew she would eventually tell me never to come back. She's been putting me off for weeks with this or that excuse. I hate it for the cats but feel relieved in a way I don't have to go through the stress of dealing with her anymore.

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  2. I'm just shaking my head.... in disgust... in sadness... in bewilderment..... I am so sorry for the cats, but even more so for you, who has offered so much and been rejected ... it just isn't right. But.... who am I? A reader who has no sway in what happens.... I can only hope for the best... for you, the cats... and even for the old lady.

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    1. Thanks, I'm shaking my head over it too. Outside of the one donation from her daughter, of which she gave me 2/3, she didn't put out anything at all, and in fact got a lot of free cat food, and other stuff. But I can't change who she is, nor trespass on her property to finish the job. I too hope for the best for the cats.

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  3. Unfortunately, you can't save them all and it's frustrating when it could happen if she would only cooperate. However, I agree with Elephant's Child, I'm happy you won't be going back into that toxic environment.

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    1. thank you L & L. I've been living with this likelihood for over a month, with all the excuses. She gave them before also, but her daughter would intervene. It was a battle each time, to get her to allow me to sit outside in my car half the night to catch the cats she feeds. Which is nuts in itself.

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  4. Time to focus on the good you have done and are now doing, and no doubt you will do plenty more in the future.

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    1. True, Andrew. I did take 23 cats to be fixed from out there. That's not nothing.

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  5. It is sad for her that she enjoys hanging onto her bitterness more than she wants to help animals.

    I would tell the daughter but I'm nasty like that. :) I would feel a bit like the daughter deserves to be aware of that, because who knows how many times the mother has done it.

    I used to say three strikes and you're out, with people. The truth is, I have never had someone get one strike and stop there, they always go on to collect the whole set of three. So now that I'm a little older I only let people have just the one, these days. Life is too short to waste on toxic people. :)

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    1. That is a very good point that she's probably done this before other places. She's gathered her strikes already, in making it so hard the other times I've been out to trap. Life is short!

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