Thursday, April 02, 2015

B is for......


It's B day in the A to Z challenge.

B is for Balls!

Not this kind of ball......

This is the kind of ball little boys play with and when a woman tries to return the ball, this very one, over the fence, when they knock it over, they throw it back right in her face.  Do you think she'd return it again?  Nah!

We cat women play a different kind of ball game.  We chase down cats so their balls can be surgically removed.

I like to call it "Creating Peace by Surgical Procedure".

Too many cats on this planet.  Too many suffer and die abandoned and starving.  Too many die in shelters in this country and worldwide.  Too many get and spread terrible diseases like FIV (feline aids) and Felk (feline leukemia) through breeding and fighting.  Too many too many too many.

I tell the boys I am saving them, in lectures as they sit in carriers or traps in my car on the way to the vet.  I like to lecture cats in traps.  It's not like they can wander off.

I tell the boys they'll get real lives now.  They'll read books, maybe even solve world problems.

An unfixed male cat has no friends.  Once fixed, they do get their lives back.

B is for Balls.

Now I know that parrots don't have "balls" per se.   But yesterday, at the Parrot Lady's house, her parrot was particularly obnoxious, screeching and screaming, in a high pitched eardrum piercing manner.  I yelled at the Parrot Lady, "What's wrong with him, why's he all bent out of shape?"  

"I don't know," she says, "but he doesn't like sharing me."

Pretty soon the parrot was going back and forth wildly on this little fake log she had for him and no longer screeching.  I said "What's he doing?"

The Parrot Lady looked embarrassed.  "He's masturbating on the log," she said.  Afterwards, he was calmer, chirping and I felt, eyeing me strangely.  I turned red as a beet and I couldn't look at him.

"What a parrot pervert," I thought.  I made excuses and left.  I wish I could neuter that parrot.

7 comments :

  1. Absolutely. Chop 'em off!!! My partner was so proud of our male cat's practically dog-sized balls! When he was due for his castration, I took a photo for him to remember them by! It made us laugh. Even the vet was impressed at our boy's cojones. My partner was so proud you'd think the woman was remarking on the impressiveness of his own balls!!! Lol.
    I'm doing A to Z too. Pop over if you get a chance. I write a diary on my cat's behalf and there's an episode due for D :) http://www.tdharveyauthor.com

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    1. I will come over. I have trouble sometimes commenting on all the different formats, for some reason. Male ball size pride does extend to their pets balls, have seen it over and over. You have dried those balls or something, stuffed them, made jewelry! Mounted them on the wall!

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  2. I'm with you, save them from themselves and their lives will be far less complicated.

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  3. Gone is much more better.
    I am amazed to hear that you can buy artificial ones for dog's anyway. Not for the dog's benefit, but for his owner. Sigh.

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    1. Really EC? I am shocked. And curious.

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  4. Interesting but the best thing to do with male cats..

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  5. We have two ex-queens at the moment, but we used to have a lovely chap called Levi and he had been done. He was such a laid back kitty after that, not bothered about anything :). I still miss him.
    Tasha
    Tasha's Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)

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