Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Sick, Sick and Sicker

Ugly, that's what it is.  Whatever I've got.  Ugly.

Started last Friday night.  Suddenly.  My stomach region turned to cement, felt like, with sharp spines.  Chills and body aches and fatigue hit too.  I slept all weekend, with a few brief "up" periods.

Finally Monday came around and I thought was better.  I even did a few things, ventured out a couple of times.

Tuesday I decided be ok to eat something.  Wasn't.

Stomach erupted in double over pain, like I'd eaten a plate of glass shards.  Oh my.

Then came the disgusting part.  Have you ever had explosive diarrhea?  If not, try it!  I do not recommend the experience.  How about if you bend even slightly slinging stomach contents out your nose?  Lovely.

It went on six hours before I got scared.  The pain shot up my back and through my shoulders.  Death seemed likely or maybe like a dream vacation getaway.

Things went through my mind, like "Shit, I should have climbed the S. Sister or something, written a legal binding will that officially gives my cats to someone."  That kind of stuff.  But mostly I just moaned and rolled around and there was some cursing.

Here's the other thing went through my mind.  'Omg, I've got to clean the litter boxes somehow.  I can't die in here with the litter boxes dirty.  What will people think?'  A cat lady version of "Always wear clean underwear, in case you're in a wreck." Or "Die young and leave a good looking corpse."  There's no such thing as a good looking corpse by the way.

All I did was eat, for gosh sakes and not much.  I'd gone out after generic prilosec and Gatorade.  I had developed a powerful craving for Gatorade.   I wanted to eat everything I saw in the store.  Everything.  I had eaten almost nothing since last Friday near noon when I ate at a Subway up in the Portland area.

I thought it was a good sign I might finally be able to eat.

I get home.  I eat and my gut exploded in reaction.

I probably have norovirus, the doctor says.  My blood work says I don't have liver, pancreatic or gall bladder issues.  I do have an inflamed irritated angry gut.  Probably norovirus.  Maybe norovirus.  They don't really test for it, just go by symptoms.

Guess I know better now how a cat feels suffering from distemper, why they don't eat.

Doc tells me not to worry about eating, not to even to try, that I could go two weeks without eating a thing and be fine.  Doc tells me to only take a couple sips of Gatorade every 30 minutes, nothing more, for a few days.  Ok.  Will do.

On the upside, I should be much trimmer in another week!  Weight loss by norovirus.  Personally, I don't recommend the diet.

So when I feel I'm teetering on that line between worlds all I can think of is "I should have climbed the S. Sister and made better plans for my cats upon my death?"  Ok, I'll make better plans and get me a topo map of the south sister.  Up I go this summer, if I'm still breathing.

The south sister, one of the three sisters, the easiest of the three to climb, volcanic mountains in the Oregon Cascades.
One more note, to have a nurse tell me it's going to be ok, when I was scared and had been so sick, was like  maybe a visit to heaven right here on earth.  Those simple words. No, I haven't got religion.  I got some human kindness.

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