Saturday, January 07, 2012

I Watched the Debate

There was nothing else on besides the debate. So I half watched it. It was boring. Except this wasn't boring: over half the candidates: Romney, Santorum, Perry and Gingrich, are hawks and expressed interest in returning troops to Iraq. Whoa nilly!

Santorum is the most aggressive hawk. I don't like him. I think he's dangerous. He came across to me as like one of those jocks, from high school, wanting to beat up on everyone who doesn't worship him and who spends time admiring himself in the mirror, like someone on injectable testosterone. I think he'd love to start WWIII!

Santorum is exactly the opposite of how he portrays himself. He works to push the agendas of health insurance companies and other big corporations on the hill now, aa a "consultant". He makes tons of money doing it, too. You would not have to look far to find out who is driving his campaign and it's not little people or middle class people.

Perry seems to have the least brain ability, Huntsman and Paul the most.

Huntsman I could live with. He is presidential, seems honest, if unexciting, intelligent and well studied. Paul has the best foreign policy.

Romney seems like a golden lab to me, tongue lolling, mouth open, eyes happy, oh so eager to please. He'll sit, stay, say anything, and chase a frisbee for your vote.

Santorum seems like a poisonous snake, ready to strike, with venom, wanting to strike, aching to strike out at anyone and everything, yearning for the powers of the office so he can get back at everybody. I think he has issues. Long standing.

Newt has issues too, but he's been de-fanged and knows he won't win. He wants to stay a threat, a contender, a spoiler for his arch rival Romney. He despises Romney's two facedness. Newt comes across to me as a ground hog. I don't know why. I want to pinch his cheeks. They're so cute.

Perry is a happy go lucky untrained pit bull who urinates on every tire, even his owners, who beat him, so he's laying in wait to bite back one day (he doesn't know if he'll get the nerve, but he likes to growl in the mean time). His brain was damaged during birth however, so thoughts of revenge are hard to plan out. They quickly blur around the edges.

Ron Paul is the sour grape, an old shriveled antelope, who wants left alone and wants everyone in the country left alone because we all must want left alone like he does. He's wise, because he's survived a long long time, successfully eluded all sorts of things that wanted to eat him over and over again. His views are crusted over in age though and need uncrusted and cleaned up.

Huntsman is the Koala Bear just emerging through the jungle and all the other unsightly animals. Let's oooh and aaaaw over him awhile. Koala Bears are so cute and they speak mandarin, turns out.

The debate scared me. All those guys talking about starting wars in this country or that, but they won't be over anywhere fighting. They'll be sitting in easy chairs fist pumping a touch down on TV while young men and women die and lose limbs and are damaged forever. They scare me.

At one point in the debate I thought they were going to whip out a measuring tape and compare penis sizes. Mitt Romney, Jon Huntsman and Ron Paul would have opted out. Ron Paul would have said "this is just silly". Jon Huntsman would have said "Oh wait, here now, my father would not approve!" And Mitt Romney would opt out because he doesn't actually have a penis. The other three good old boys would be enthusiastically dropping their pants on national TV to prove who's bigger and badder. That was my impression. I couldn't shake it.

So I turned it off, that TV, shut it down, that debate, cleaned up some hairballs and drank a beer.

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