Twisted Stomach

It's bad for me these days. My stomach churns all the time in stress over cat situations.

I go back to an Albany street to trap today, since there are two more females needing caught there, one with kittens, and a male, who may have disappeared.

The neighbors of one couple who feed told me the couple is gone again. The couple is leaving, moving, and when they move, leaving the cats they have fed, behind. The neighbors hate the cats and ask why I bring them back after they are fixed. I said because I have no place for them. I told them I'm just a volunteer, that I have to take cats clear to Coos Bay to get them fixed, that nobody helps, nobody donates, nobody volunteers and that people around here don't seem to get it, to fix their pets, then want somebody else to pay for it for them. I lamented the fact I have to scrounge my own gas money, money for bait, and then to be yelled at by people who don't like cats on top of that. They apologized.

I told them I'm damaged goods from being yelled at so much and from seeing so much animal neglect and abuse, that I love cats and want to cry all the time now and about how much I wish I could move somewhere people might be nice to me and to animals.

I told them neighbors could have solved this issue on this street themselves, long ago, with the first abandoned female, getting her fixed, but instead they didn't, and now they want to act surprised that the cats reproduce and to complain to me about it and that the cats are victims of lousy human behavior, but please don't take it out on me or on the cats.

They left me alone then.

I'm trying to find a few of them a barn home. I understand people don't want to live in areas over run in unwanted cats. I know that. I know that very well. I don't want to live in an area over run in irresponsible pet owners and apathetic people, who watch such situations develop and do nothing.

Been a rough day. Another woman told me she was at the Oak street park with her daughter when she overheard a man on a phone tell someone he had to go, that he had to catch a cat to feed his snake. She was creeped out and grabbed her daughter and got out of there. She said he looked like a drug addict and had a little girl with him that could only make grumble noises or like growl.

Then I get a call from a Jefferson woman terribly upset by all the animal abuse in her neighborhood. They found a cat whose jaw was broken and had hammer marks all over him. She's poor, was hysterical over all the animal abuse there. I tried to encourage her, but it was hard because I feel overwhelmed also by the abuse and neglect and cruelty everywhere.

I know I have to be strong. When times get hard, real character comes out.

Darkness encompasses.

We must all be strong and be the light.