Dear Dex

Dear Dex,

I loved you so. I loved your quiet unassuming ways. I loved the way you'd sneak up the side of the bed, to lay against my left side, to avoid the obnoxiously friendly Zach, and his flops to send other cats out of the way.

I loved the way you bonded with Starry, who was a worry wart over your health and who loved you. Seems an unlikely bond.

She being young and slightly selfish by nature and exuberant. She wanted to lay next to you and you alone, like you were her rock, her comfort, her solid ground, the only one she could turn to, when all the other cats were disgusted by her. You would groom Starry, up til the last week, when she'd stick her head in your face asking for it. And then she would return the favor.

You and Electra also loved each other. You two had a rocky start. That's because you, Dex, yes, you! would attack Electra at the most vulnerable of moments--when she was in the litter box. That was years ago. You joined up with Comet and Cattyhop, like a gang, to attack others, like Electra, when they were using the litter box. You had your dark side! You loved Cattyhop too, which makes me wonder sometimes. You both died of kidney failure, but Cattyhop was so young by comparison.

You liked fish, more than any cat I've ever had here. Most cats don't seem to really like fish. Fish is not a normal cat food. What cat heads into the water to fish? I bet you would have.

You liked to be on my lap when I was trying to use the bathroom. You were not a hunter. You hated to be enclosed, after what you went through out in Philomath, being left behind and locked in, without food or water.

You liked being brushed but did not like having your face touched, unless it was with a warm wash clothe. When you were sick, more than anything, you wanted your face cleaned with warm wet wash clothe. So that's what I did.

You were silly and liked to be noticed when you were being silly, so I'd tell you "What a silly funny girl." Then you would come slide up on my lap, like maybe I wouldn't let you if I noticed you were doing it, but of course I would let you. I love you, Dex, more than the big obnoxious demanding boys. I knew what you'd been through and why you were humble in your attention seeking and never demanding. Never ever demanding.

Dex, I was you. I know exactly what you went through. I know what it meant to you to be loved, to have a stable place, that you were never leaving, ever. You, more than most, needed somebody to put their foot down to say, "She's mine. She's with me forever. She's never leaving me. She's not up for adoption."

Dex, though I buried your body today, I will love you forever.