Saturday, July 31, 2010

Scammer at my Door?

Doorbell rings. I answer because I think it's the neighbor. It's not. It's some young skinny blonde guy, tag hanging around neck, notebook in hand, bag on the ground. "Scammer," I think to myself immediately. Like the fake alarm salesman from a couple months back, later arrested when he refused to leave a woman's house, trying to force her to buy some fake alarm she didn't want with high pressure, vulgarity and refusal to leave, once she let him in.

This guy barely spoke English. He had a heavy German or Austrian accent. He said he's selling books. I said "I don't want any books, please go your way."

He looked sad and lost and out of place. He pointed each direction and said "Maybe you can tell me, which neighbors, would...." I interrupted..."We don't want door to door around here. I'll tell you why. Because there are so many dishonest people trying to scam people without any money out of what little they might have, with no regard for them, or burglarize them....we don't want door to door scammers and thieves and nobody sells books door to door. What are you really after?"

He looked like he was going to cry.

He stumbled off but not before saying "Could you...."

Again I interrupted. "Do you want me to call the police?"

It seemed like something else was going on here, is why I asked that. What was a kid with such a heavy eastern European accent doing here, in Albany, I thought to myself, going door to door, when he can barely speak the language. Was he in trouble, some unscrupulous asshole recruit him and enslave him into a criminal life, I wondered. I only wonder these things because society has turned so evil and because he seemed so sad and like a lost soul.

He got in his little silver car and drove off. It's a problem here, the scammers, because it's an interstate town. This kid, who knows what he's up to and who put him up to it. The ID tag, hanging from a lanyard around his neck, was to make him look legit, just like the fake alarm salesman. Good luck, to you kid. Get out and away from whomever is putting you up to this. Really. It won't end well for you. Get away.

I don't know how to deal with this world anymore. I sent this photo I took of the new renters down the block, how they took over a piece of the cul de sac, parking head in, towards the curved soft slanted curb of the cul de sac, even moving their trash cans out almost to the middle of the cul de sac, behind their cars, like staking out a claim to half the city owned street. It was a very funny photo I thought. I sent it to a neighbor, whom I also thought would think it was funny.

She sent it in a letter to their landlord and I guess told the landlord to "help the neighbors" by asking them to park on their own rental property. Sure, they need to stop parking their apparent massive numbers of vehicles all over everywhere. I don't really know what the letter she says she sent actually said.

Why does this disturb me? Because, for no good reason, I suspect she signed my name instead of hers to the letter. I don't know why I would suspect her doing that, because it would be highly illegal, I just do. I guess because I've come to expect that sort of thing now.

The evicted neighbors told me when they were gone once, the couple who lived in the house on one side of them, removed one of their bushes on their property without their permission. They trespassed and yanked it out, tried to tidy up and smooth over where the bush had been. When they returned and found the bush removed, she said she confronted her neighbor and asked her directly, "Did you come onto my property and yank out my bush?" "Why yes," the woman said, "we were just helping like good neighbors."

OMG!!!! Right now, it is cracking me up to think about someone doing that. That's insane!

I'd already heard the story of her hooking a chain to their pickup and yanking out arborvita, because she didn't like them, at the house on the other side of hers, right after the house sold before the new owners moved in, sparking a screaming match between her and the new owners when they discovered the bushes they bought with the house, got yanked by a neighbor who thought it poor landscaping and must have figured her last chance to "relandscape" the neighbor's house was now, before they moved in.

Do you think that is a good story? Because I think it's one of the best neighborhood yard vigilante stories I've heard. I wish I could have seen it. I admire her doing that, in some ways, but not in other ways. It was gutsy, I'll say, but also illegal and petty. I didn't live here then. Maybe those arborvita were god awful ugly and ill kept. Could have been. They are ugly bushes if not well trimmed.

When the Christian flagpole people last fall, brought out their leaf blower and blew all the leaves on their yard down the sidewalk onto my neighbors lawn and my lawn, I should have taken the lessons learned from the yard vigilante and reacted with some finesse! I should have stealthily, during the night, piled oodles of leaves in their driveway and looked shocked the next morning, with everyone else. Instead, like white trash crass, I just flipped them off. My god.

I learned something about flying a flag in this town: makes you morally untouchable, even if you're a lowdown jerk off who would steal from your own mother. Fly a flag and people nod in approval, even if it's being flown inappropriately, in violation of flag etiquette. So I'm going to get me a flag to fly, to give me vindication when I'm pumping the spay neuter gospel. I haven't been able to find one not made in China. I hate Chinese made goods. It's the cause of America's downfall. Everybody knows it but nobody stops buying cheap crap from China.

Flying a flag is like waving a bible in these parts, gives you hands off cred, morality when you're not moral. Everybody knows that. Even the Catholic church knows it. I mean, they've supported child abuse for ages and done nothing. What do the rank and file Catholics do? They keep filing in, listening to sermons from the Pope railing on reproduction. Ok, sheep. Follow the leader. That one I ain't following anywhere. But, you get my drift. Hold up a Bible and you can do almost anything and people overlook it, even defend it.

Anyhow, as for the people down the street with some sort of car business thing going on, from their rental, I call it the kinetic car lot down the block, they're scary. Sometimes five big Mexican guys stand in the middle of the street staring down this way like a gang and I stare down there and think about it. I probably think about it too much. Can't help it.

Now, before you think I'm judging my neighbors severely, and I am, I want you to know, I have no delusions about my own place here. I am by far the most abnormal person on this block. While there are many single people in the area, I have no family, no social life whatsoever, and I live with way too many cats. My entire rental is designed to house these cats in hopes of finding them homes. I have nothing whatsoever of value.

Should a theif break in, they would be so sorely disappointed by the contents here, they would first break down in sobs, then leave in disgust and maybe even empty their pockets on the counter of change out of sympathy. I have a few pieces of old furniture. I have several dressers I've gotten for free, but the drawers are empty of contents. I have some old dishes, a few books, an older TV and some home made items, a broken bike, a broken patched together exercise bike and some ragged clothing. I do have a newer looking toothebrush.

I have a very old CD player but it doesn't work. It's only for looks. I have one working radio alarm clock and one that doesn't work, just haven't hauled it off to the recycle center. I will, one day soon. However, I have absolutely everything I need. Except funtional vaccines.

My yard doesn't look nice and I don't care. Partly, it's because I have no real tools to care for it. Partly, it's general apathy about yards in general.

I can't afford to water anything but my vegetables.

I am by far, you see, the most abnormal dysfunctional lowlife white trash person on this block. I know that. Nobody has to point it out, even though often they do. I judge my neighbors only to try to prove to myself they too have their quirks and they do. Makes me feel better about myself.

Neighbors Being Evicted

A family who has lived on this street for many many years is being evicted. Their landlord gave them 30 days to move their lives out and be gone. He wants his college student son to move in. They seem frazzled and worried, as would be normal. This has happened to me and there is nothing easy about it.

Contrary to a landlords belief, tenants feel rentals are "home" and most behave as such. When evicted, everything secure and of comfort is ripped away.

Including deep roots.

Landlords weild a terrible power over their tenants. They can take everything from them with the stroke of a pen.

That's why you have to play kissy face with them and kissy yo feet games. Even when those feet you must kiss stink to high heaven and are rotting in fungus.

This family loses their home because a college kid son is going to live there.

Guess I better take back some of this post. They came over and they're actually pretty happy to think they're getting out of this neighborhood and she says all things happen for a reason. They think the people up the next block with the zillion cars there all the time, all Mexicans, are scary, as everyone else does, and they hope to find a friendlier happier neighborhood. She gave me a big huge fat compliment. She said "You have a Corvallis yard, full of life and freedom." That was a nice thing to hear. (the rest of the block thinks my yard is an eyesore)

I'd never met them before because they're often gone most of the time. They're not typical yard nazis like many of the folks on the block. It's too bad we only meet when they are about to leave.

I told her "It's too bad you can't use this to move to Corvallis." They also love the parks in Corvallis and have had trouble fitting into the culture here. I confided, to these neighbors whom I've not met before today, "I'm lost here. I want out so badly."

She said they would move to Corvallis with this eviction opportunity, but their daughter has lots of friends in her school and it's important for kids to stay in the same schools, if they can, with their friends.

I met them because I stopped my car when I saw a brand new cat to the area, a terribly skinny orange tabby teenager, climb into their truck. I asked them who that cat was, and they said they didn't know, that he showed up a couple days ago and they figure someone nearby got him as a kitten, then tossed him out like trash as he grew out of kittenhood. Despite their eviction, they're feeding the poor little guy.

There's another abandoned cat, an all white one, show up. It's Albany. When people move, they dump their cats like so much trash.

Another neighbor came over, chided me for not spraying the yard to get rid of dandelions. I told her I don't spray. She urged me to spray often. She said she doesn't want them in her yard. I didn't say anything else, just came back inside and looked out the window at the people who are soon to be leaving this street behind. With envy.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Warm Vaccine Video

Now, what to do? Maybe nobody ships vaccines at correct temperature. Maybe nobody really pays any attention. But the specifications are all over online sources and in a government fact sheet on vaccine safety. Is this ignored by everyone?

I remember so many people have been notified they have to be revaccinated because the clinic did not properly store vaccines at the correct temperature. So it was feared they had degraded and offered no protection except "in one's mind" which might be fairly protective. The placebo vaccine. I wonder if cats could be so coerced.

Bad Bad Vaccine Shipping!

The vaccines arrived, within the two day period Fed Ex promised to ship. However, they arrived with one ice pack that had long turned to mush, completely melted and warm. The vaccines were at room temperature, between 70 and 75 degrees and useless to me.

I have been attempting to contact California Vet Supply by phone and e-mail. No response so far. I also have contacted the vaccine manufacturer to let them know their vaccines are being improperly temp regulated when shipped, by this company, to see what they have to say about that. I will contact the government regulatory agency that covers such things too. For now, I will try to stop payment on the vaccines on my credit card.

This temperature, from what I've read, is unacceptable for vaccines, could render them useless within a few days, and the company needs to review and change its vaccine shipping methods immediately.

Anyhow, I will talk to the government regulatory agency, see what they say, and if need be, file a complaint with them. If vaccines need to be maintained in a certain temperature range, then that needs done and if companies are not doing that, in shipping, that's their responsiblity as a seller of vaccines. It's not mine. Not until they are here, in my hands. My credit card company has suspended the payment for the vaccines and sent me a dispute form.

Awaiting Vaccines.

I ordered vaccines online. This makes me nervous. I used to buy them individually at a Corvallis feed store. Given two day shipping rates, required for perishable vaccine shipment, buying individually at that one feed store was far more cost effective. Until they doubled the price of a single three way vaccine.

Now it's far cheaper to buy online even with the two day perishable shipping rates.

It does make me nervous, however. Vaccines must be maintained between temps of 35 and 46 degrees. Any higher for even a short period of time and they are supposedly no longer useful to provide any protection.

I have been carefully tracking the shipment. It was loaded onto a truck in Corvallis this morning. I would think Fedex would deliver items marked as perishable first, but I doubt they alter their regular route one bit to make sure perishable items arrive still "unperished". The truck has not delivered here yet.

I have a thermometer. When a vaccine shipment arrives, I pop the thermometer into the container they've arrived in first thing. If the temp is over the acceptable storage temp for vaccines, upon arrival, I have no recourse but to figure they're no good. So, I am nervous when I order vaccines until a thermometer shows an acceptable temperature in the package.

If it doesn't, and I've never been in that position, I guess I'd have to stop payment through my credit card and deal with the company selling them. I hope this is a decent company who packed them sufficiently to maintain the acceptable temperature range. I am crossing my fingers. This is a commonly used well rated online supply company, or so I'm told by countless others who use it. I've bought other items from them, but never vaccines. Vaccines are a different type of purchase altogether. I would never know, for instance, if they, at their warehouse, maintain the acceptable temperature range on vaccines with diligence.

I'm not very trusting of business practise in general. My experience has been most companies if they feel they can get away with something and never be caught will do just that. I remember the stories about either the Petco or Petsmart warehouse in one state, shut down, for unimaginable conditions, rodents and rot everywhere, contaminating pet food that was then being sent out and sold at high prices.

My trust of businesses acting ethically, even when no one is watching, that's long gone.

The vaccine degradation with temperature invokes my curiosity. What is it in a vaccine that degrades with temperature? Does bacteria grow? Two vial vaccines, one containing distilled water, the other powder, that you then mix, might be less prone to degradation through non regulated temperature environments? The vials themselves are supposedly vaccuum sealed. In other words, there is allegedly no air inside the vials, which promotes bacteria growth. I know there are anearobic bacteria, however. Or is it something else about temperature that degrades the vaccine?

How have they tested vaccines to find out how long it takes at inappropriate temperature storage to render them useless? Are killed virus vaccines as unstable as modified live vaccines? I just start wondering these things.

There were lots of stories last summer with the H1N1 vaccination promotion, about people being called back in, to be revaccinated, because vaccines were improperly stored and therefore, supposedly, ineffective at providing protection.

I think vaccine is grown in chicken eggs. Chicken egg mediums I suppose are highly prone to bacteria growth during production and afterwards.

Update: It's almost 4:00 p.m. now. The vaccines were loaded onto a Fed Ex truck in Corvallis this morning, but have yet to arrive. I cannot imagine, if they have not been refrigerated on the hot truck, that they will be in viable condition for use, after 8 hours on a delivery truck. But, maybe they put items labeled perishable into refrigeration. I hope so, because man alive.

Refreshed. Back at It.

A good nights' sleep can sure create a better attitude.

I am refreshed after sleeping 10 hours.

I'm back at it.

Already plotting and planning how to at least clean up the situations I've started.

There are four or more left to catch at the rural trailer colony.

There are at least six left up at the Lebanon trailer park where Machi, now neutered, hails from.

There are at least two left at that Rock Hill Lebanon colony, that is so difficult.

As for the N. Albany colony, I can't get any help up there, from residents, but there was at least one more adult male and one more adult female. Both come up from a seed warehouse, but only are seen occasionally and when seen, are seen by the horse people, who have locked gates on their barn and fenceline understandably. They're quite nice but exceedingly busy and are also inundated with raccoons, requiring someone to watch a trap or that it be set up on a table that raccoons cannot jump onto. There was also the Siamese female, lactating at spay. Where are her kittens?

There is the downtown Albany new colony, which includes a mom with four kittens. The caller took in one of the kittens and is bottle feeding her, but the mom then moved the other three. There are other cats in that area she used to feed until neighbors threw a fit.

There is one more male at the other downtown colony, where Meesa and her kittens came from.

There is a male in Corvallis although I lost the caller's phone number. I thought she would call back by now. I already got six fixed from there.

There is the Tangent colony, across from the grange. I haven't tackled it, other than to get the spillovers fixed, 10 from the grange, five more dumped behind the colony, 8 fixed from the colony itself. I know, 23 cats fixed is a significant number of cats already taken care of, from that one colony, now fixed and gone from there, except for three adults that were returned. But there are more and they reproduce rapidly.

There are five kittens in Corvallis, from that man living in that old old falling apart trailer, whose female was fixed ten days ago. There are 8 kittens and one adult male still needing fixed from Gordyville. Already 13 cats have been fixed from there. There are survivor kittens, if any, of the Siamese mix female, from the Lebanon old woman, whom I trapped and took to be fixed awhile back. I followed her, after releasing her, and spotted the kittens, across the street behind a barn, when she called them out to her. I saw at least three, but they were far from any food and looked starved. It is iffy if any of them will survive.

If I don't follow up and finish these hot spots, more cats will reproduce and be born to die or to be handed out free, and go on to reproduce elsewhere.

Sad fact, if somebody doesn't round them up to be fixed, there only will be more suffering for the cats later on.

Somebody needs to do this work. I mean, duh. If people are so callous, so selfish they let their cats breed in this world, somebody is going to have to track down and fix these cats to repair the damage such people do to cats and neighborhoods and the environment and taxpayers. Someone has to do it.

There are only a handful of people in this area willing to dirty their hands and bleed out their hearts and wallets to try.

There is no monetary reward. There are no volunteer recognition awards either. There's nothing in it except for the grateful hugs of kittens like Nemo, who won't let me go, and clings to me for dear life. He knows what his fate would have been. He knows. He's so grateful he won't let go of me.

It keeps me going.

If people truely understood what the results of their behavior is in the horrible suffering for kittens and cats, would they continue their ways? It's hard to imagine that they would. It's hard to imagine that people would be so callous to suffering.

Can they not connect the dots? If I do "A" and the result is "B" while "C" results from "B", then when I do "A", "C" is the result.

All I know is they need reminded over and over and over again sometimes in their face, that when they let their cats have kittens, they are killing cats and causing immense suffering and costs down the line.

Wake up! Educate yourselves please.

Couch Crying

This afternoon, after returning home from the clinic and taking the five boys back to their home, I fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up, Diane had come and taken the manx girl home, from my garage.

I have felt dead today. I didn't sleep much last night. My stomach hurt and I was having allergy troubles.

I guess that's why I was so tired today and finally collapsed on the couch. After eating some supper, I lay down again. This time, I shook with sobs. Lonliness has been getting to me. I long for some one to talk to, a friend, someone to do things with.

The stress also is getting to me, of so many calls, so many people asking so much of me, so many cats and kittens in trouble. It is a terrible weight to bear.

Also, I understand the magnitude of the overpopulation problem just here, in this small valley, and that, if others don't step up and fix their own cats, stop handing out unfixed kittens, things likely won't change. It's an understanding of the hopelessness of the situation and this too bears down on me heavily. I know well the implications of every free kitten handed out, down the road, for the cats. Nobody really cares around here. Why should I?

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Nine Cats Being Fixed Today

Eight Albany cats and one Corvallis cat are up being fixed today. Three of those being fixed are Machi, Echo and Fantasia. That leaves only Slurpy unfixed here. She still is "slurping" with a cold, which is frustrating. I think she will have chronic herpes, making her probably unadoptible, unless, as she approaches four months of age, her forming immune system kicks in to overcome it. I am hoping very much that happens.

The three N. Albany kittens are getting so tame. Once their diarrhea is over with, I sure hope to find them homes.

I got two more calls about two more Albany situations. One is down town, not that far from where Echo and Fantasia were born to the feral mom, Meesa, and very close to where I got about 10 ferals fixed fed by a neighbor of a boarding house. Behind that house was a small stand alone house where the tenant who lived there abandoned his cat when he left. That cat was Hope, who had kittens, and later had an eye knocked out by blunt force trauma. She retreated back into the falling apart house where she had once been "owned", with her kittens.

She remembered me, from when I got her spayed. When I saw her inside, I took a photo through the window. There was a note from the police on the door of that rental, which was being worked on by a maintenance man hired by the owner. The note directed the owner or maintenance man to call them, about the injured cat inside. But the owner did not respond, so the house was locked up tight. Hope had entered through a hole in the foundation then a hole in the floor of the house.

But she remembered me. When I tapped on the window, she began meowing. I pointed toward the room with the hole in the floor then went to the foundation hole out back. Hope shoved her kittens out before she came out. She had her eye removed, and after a long saga, was adopted by a couple in Bend, who now take her everywhere with them, when they travel in their RV. She is one well traveled one eyed cat!

Anyhow, Poppa's president ended up with three semi feral flea hopping teens, whom she was never able to adopt out. And I was able to adopt out another Siamese kitten from same yard, and got the four feral adults fixed. They were returned.

Now, down the next block, someone else is feeding more. She's a nice woman from the sounds of it, but the neighbor across the street just took four of one mother's six week old kittens to Salem, where, she was told, they were killed. Anyhow, that's my next project.

The other caller was a familiar voice. The Bengal man. He has more kittens and unfixed cats and he claims a neighbor is trapping his cats and dumping them out somewhere. I got 24 or some such number fixed last summer for him and Shaulin is one of the three worm bellied kittens I took out. He's had my number. He could have called and gotten this taken care of before there were more kittens. It's frustrating. He called because the animal control officer has been over there or called him twice, after probably a neighbor complained.

He said he told him "What can I do? Safehaven won't take them." The officer called Safehaven, the man said, and confirmed they would not take any of them. So, with no recourse, the officer left it I guess, or gave him my number, I don't know. Anyhow, he claims there are still three unfixed females with kittens, although one has disappeared and one just had two kittens, a snow Bengal. Must be pretty kittens. I don't know, stressed me out to hear about it, to think of those poor cats caught in this.

Well anyhow, there are five males getting fixed from an Albany household. Their neighbor left seven cats behind when they moved out, but these folks found homes for the two girls. They could not find homes for the five boys and while trying, fell in love with them. The landlord said if they were fixed, they could keep them. That's great news. So today, they are getting their ticket to stay by losing their balls.

The Corvallis female, up being fixed, is a very pretty young and petite black manx. My goodness she is pretty. She too, despite her young age, just finished nursing a litter.

So, at least nine more cats from this area will no longer be reproducing. That's a good thing. Progress maybe. I get discouraged seeing the vast number of free kitten ads out there.

Missing Gorge Trap: Comedy of Exhaustion

All this time, since travelling to the gorge, where I engaged in marathon trapping, I have thought I left a trap there. I thought this in part because the woman transporting to and from clinics said she thought they still had one of my traps, with a cat from the trailer park in it, at a clinic, when I was leaving. That led me to report to her that in fact yes, I had one trap missing when I finally left for home.

By now, with my "missing" trap still not returned, I am sending outraged reply e-mails to the gorge group, because now they claim they had lost my missing trap. I went out to check to be sure which one it was that I'd left up there, only to be confounded to find none of my traps are in fact missing.

I was embarrassed. How could this happen?

Dual exhaustion is how.

I was so exhausted by the end of two days of trapping up there I was easily led to believe they still had one of my traps merely when the other totally exhausted woman doing all the transporting mentioned she thought one of mine was still at the clinic. When traps came back from the clinic, painted green like mine, this led her to tell me she had my missing trap in her garage, ready to return when she could find a way to get it back to me.

Without further checking, all this time, I've thought one of my traps was still in the gorge. They thought they had one of my traps too and were arranging to get it back to me this weekend, when, low and behold, they found that the trap they thought was mine, really wasn't.

What a clueless hoot!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


I took in two of the kittens to be tested. Both negative. Yaaaahooooo! Happy! Relieved.

They're such sweethearts. Am very relieved.

And thank you, Heartland Humane, for helping me out on the tests.

Sad Decisions on N. Albany Kittens

I have to get them tested. Their diarrhea is not resolving. I am afraid they may be Felk positive. I've been trying to find some other option for them, if they do turn out positive, but I have no connections anymore at all. I can't get people to even answer the phone, if I call, or return a call. Guess I don't blame them. I am an annoyance to most of the other cat people and groups. I am only contacted by them if they want my help.

Something really ironic, in connection with helping out another group: One of my live traps is still in the gorge, from when I trapped for that group. They have not so far been able to get it back to me, I'm told. It's one of my big tomahawk transfer traps. I am beginning to wonder if I will ever see it again.

I'd like to trap for that group up there again, maybe not as intense this time. So, if I get to go again, I will get my trap back then. I don't know if I will get to go again. I can't afford to do that either. (I have to pay a petsitter. Even finding one isn't easy).

Anyhow, I don't blame cat groups/special rescues for not returning my calls on trying to find a place for these kittens if they are positive. They have their own lives, families and hardships associated with helping cats. But, when I get kittens who need tested or care, I do need help. I've helped lots of people out and you'd think I could get help in return, but I can't. I can't even find a ride to Corvallis and back for a test I am in need of, that requires sedation, hence no driving.

I can't find anyone to take care of my cats should I want to go overnight somewhere, not for even one fricking night, without paying. One thing I don't have is money right now.

I'm scared for these kittens. I had hoped to find a place that might take them, even if they are positive, but I'm not going to be able to, I realize. I love them.

Sometimes I hate people. Those N. Albany people who could have at any time helped those cats they fed but didn't for five years, FIVE YEARS!, and now saddle a poor person with the costs, that's messed up, man. I want to go yell at them.

Heartland Humane, in Corvallis no less, has agreed to test them for me at cost. That's $15 each. That is generous of them, since they are not flush in donations either. I appreciate their offer to help even though even that much is a lot of money to me.

I wanted to see, before I take them over, if there's somewhere they could go if positive, because if they are positive and there's nowhere who takes Felk positive cats who will take them, they'll have to be euthanized at Heartland. I can't afford the $100 per cat charged for euthanasia at the Wilsonville clinic.

I understand why cat rescue groups and people ignore my phone messages. There's too much need, lots of people who fail to fix their pets, and few stepping up to fill the need.

UPDATE: Despite my wailings, the diehards came through on behalf of these kittens, should they be positive. Poppa's President and House of Dreams have pledged help for them, and a place eventually, if they are positive. Hats off today to Heartland, Poppa Inc. (as always) and House of Dreams.

I only have fears for them because of the diarrhea and because this colony has gone unfixed for over five years, with cats disappearing at high rates and kittens dying. When cats fight and breed that long, the liklihood of a Felk or FIV positive male coming through and "sharing" his disease, through fighting with other males or breeding with females, is high.

I remember the Adair colony, composed of almost exclusively FIV positive tame abandoned intact males. Only takes one free roaming unfixed FIV positive male to infect every free roaming unfixed fighting male in a small area like Adair.

But then again, there are reports of some animal hating neighbor mixing poison into hamburger to kill the cats, or someone's dog, nobody was sure which, up near where this small N. Albany colony existed. As a result, several owned cats died or disappeared, too. And still the neighborhood did nothing to help the cats by fixing them. That's lame, man, terribly lame.

So anyhow, because of the high death rates up there, and their diarrhea, I worry about Felk. However, several of the same mother's kittens have been taken in, as house cats, by people up there and have tested negative. So there is hope that this diarrhea is just from drinking feces infected water. Nutria, Raccoons, ducks, horses and off leash pooping dogs are everywhere up there. And a handful of stray cats. There were only four adults.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Million Dollar Kittens!

Lebanon Shit

Don't Fix a mom cat. Breed kittens. Then threaten to kill them if someone else doesn't take them. That's a winner! Craigslist post below.

I've all but given up on helping cats much. I can't afford to help and people take advantage of me. Until cat wranglers are paid, this will be a problem everywhere amongst people try to "fix" the overpopulation problem. It is a common complaint among those who do try, regardless of the personal financial pain involved.

Plus, nobody changes their behavior. They get more cats, do the same thing again. I'm not making a difference. People don't respect life I guess. I just can't figure it out.

The problem of course is not just here. Those Alsea folks, well the ones who own the mom cat, with two babies, and the white male have a pit bull they intend to breed. They can't even afford to get their own cats fixed but intend to breed more unwanted pitbulls too. I guess changing laws is the only thing that will help.

People don't care if holding then killing the unwanted cats and dogs costs taxpayers in general oodles of money. They don't care if the free kittens and puppies they hand out go on to produce millions of other unwanted cats and dogs, as long they don't have to think about it.

People don't care to see beyond the ends of their own nose and getting their own needs met immediately even needs that result from irresponsible behavior towards animals, taxpayers, the environment, neighbors, society.

Is this pure selfishness or is it basic survival of the fittest? If it is the latter, then programs where taxpayers subsidize the poor should be tossed to the wind. If poor people accept taxpayer money in any form, and continue irresponsible behavior that costs taxpayers more money, regardless of whether this behavior involves breeding more animals or other behaviors, it is self-defeating and wasteful behavior by taxpayers to continue subsidizing people who continue problematic costly behaviors.

I'm not saying that many taxpayers aren't terribly irresponsible and destructive themselves. I'm addressing only one part of the problem I see, with unfixed animals, and subsidized poor people who make the problem worse, causing even higher costs all around. I don't know how to debate people so that they understand so much that they might change. The only change people want to make, that I see, is to solve an immediate need, without sight to the future or to a larger issue. I still try to think up changes in my arguments that might help people see the damage done with every litter bred.

My mission to reduce overpopulation through spay neuter is openly scoffed by the openly manipulative, willing to get anything they can out of anybody and feeling this means they are the best strongest people on the planet. In other words, the users, the leeches, the bloodsuckers of society. I ignore them as the parasites they are. But it isn't easy, because their point of view is become popularized in society. 'Get what you can take any way you can.'

This way of thinking is becoming a cultural norm. It has long been the norm in many corporate cultures.

I fight back by calling these people "the living dead", already zombies, dead behind the eyes. But I am just one and they are legion!!! (to use more cultural movie slang)

Free Kittens (Lebanon Oregon)

Date: 2010-07-27, 3:43PM PDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]


I have four kittens needing homes. There are two orange males and 2 grey females. They are litter box trained and have been inside since birth. If I don't find homes for them soon I am going to have to take them to the pound.

Photos of Five Cats Fixed Yesterday

Photos of the five Alsea cats fixed yesterday.

Big mostly white male.
The torti, who has six kittens still too little to be fixed.
This female, fixed yesterday, has two kittens only three weeks old.
This is the male dumped up there, who isn't really feral.
Abbytabby male kitten.

I suppose I am getting used to near total isolation from people. I think, if there was a survivor type show, to see who could last longest completely alone in a remote location, I'd do just fine and notice little difference from my life now, as far as having human interaction.

Seems like a strange and unfamiliar world, to watch, peeking from behind trees or from my car, people gathered together in large family reunions or with friends to enjoy the summer and recreation. It's a world I know nothing of and probably never will.

My isolation began when I was a child. I was isolated due to the religion my parents were in, which caused me to be put in the tiny grade school operated by the church. There was rarely even one girl my age in my class. Once, there were two, a girl from a different town and the pastors' daughter. But pastors were transient to churches and often transferred and so it was with that pastor and my one little friend.

By 14 I was already being fondled nightly by my fatherm and then abandoned virtually by my parents when sent off to their religions' boarding school, where you got stuck in a room alone and did nothing but study, go to church and work. We were taught our bodies were evil, not allowed to watch TV, dance or have any fun really. My isolation by age 14, when I was sent off to that school, became complete.

When I finally went to college, in Corvallis, I had no idea how to survive amongst human beings. As young as age 4, I had begun sneaking out into the forest at night, to escape the constant negative diatribes of my ultra conservative father, who hated everything on earth, but especially women. He felt women were on earth to serve men. I was raised by the forest and animals most people would consider vermin or dangerous.

My mother went along with my father's fondling of me, and would say "It's ok, he's your father." My brothers stood by him until he died. I was the family sacrifical lamb, who then, because of such a childhood, got stuck in the mental health system where I endured unspeakable things. Still, inside myself, I remained an optimist, that people would do right, could be noble. Slowly over decades, this belief, this unfounded optimism that kept me alive through the years, sustained me, has faded.

Now I'm stuck in a concrete town without access to my own family, which is the forest, forest animals, rivers, streams. I was raised by these things and you can call it strange, you can call it crazy, you can call it whatever you want, but that hardly alters the story of my life, how I came to survive and how now, living in a concrete freeway town, void of what I consider life, is killing me.

To go through such things as a child, then to be further demoralized by a mental health system who immediately gave me all sorts of labels and deemed me faulty by nature, was a difficult thing to survive.

That my family allowed it to happen was even more demoralizing.

I went through terrible things, the deaths by suicide of many friends, and because of my very low position in society all these things, abuse, multiple deaths of friends, were deemed what I deserved I suppose or that I deserved to go through these things or should be used to going through these things. It is common to see others supported when close friends or family members die, and watch the different reactions as such things happen in droves to myself or others deemed unworthy of comfort.

Still, it is interesting to note the differences in how society views/reacts to tragedies, dependent upon the social position or endearment level of those affected.

I remember when my family all went to Hawaii. I was not allowed to go, because I was under court committment. When they returned, I suppose out of guilt or something, they wanted to stop in Corvallis and take me to lunch. Burger King. Then my father pinned some plastic flower he got in Hawaii on my shirt and wanted to take a photo in the parking lot.

If you ever went to my parents house, before they died, you would find photos plastered everywhere of their beloved sons and only one of me, one taken when I was about 13 years old, one that had significance to me because it was about the time dear old dad started fondling me. I'd take it down, when there, which was infrequent, with visits often years apart, and hide it. I didn't have the nerve to toss it over the bank into the briars, which I should have done. Then he'd gloat when he'd find it and put it right back up.

One photo of me, with raging implications.

For him to pose me in a Burger King parking lot with a fake flower from Hawaii, where they'd all gone for a family vacation without me, was too much for me to bear. The moment they were out of sight and gone I ripped it off and stomped it into the asphalt.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Five Cats Fixed Today. Swimming in the Hagg

I took up the five Alsea cats to be fixed today, then went off in search of recreation. I meant to search out somewhere pretty, but ended up at a small reservoir. I can't say it was pretty, like being in the mountains or even other more scenic reservoirs I've visited, but at least the water was wet. There's a trail around the lake. Again, not that pretty, but great if one lived close enough to use it to stay in shape. I walked about a mile of the trail, then came back, as I had to get back to the clinic. To get there, I drove through Yamhill and Gaston, both tiny towns that look like they're falling apart and maybe have been for awhile.

I swam for maybe 40 minutes. The reservoir was low, so you hopped off this dirt edge then walked across the caked dirt down to the water. Most reservoirs are getting that way by this time of year.

The restroom was god awful. Someone had gone to the bathroom, number two, on the floor, in two places. I immediately got out of there, as there was even water or urine pooled around the toilets. Later I heard a woman come out shrieking to her boyfriend that there was poop on the floor of the restroom and she'd stepped in it. I cringed to think of that, because it was truley disgusting. The cleaning crews were all around, but doing nothing, like so many employees who work such jobs. They should all be fired leaving a restroom in that bad of shape while they drive their trucks in circles around it.

You can rent canoes or small electric motor boats that might hold two or three. The former cost $10 an hour and the latter $20. I tried to find $10 but had only $6 and some change, so I just put shorts on and went swimming, wearing the same sandals I'd driven up in into the water, to protect my feet from broken glass. I plan to make some new sandals out of an old tire I have. My plans to make myself some tire shoes were stymied due to lack of anything to cut through rubber and steel strands. I lost my tin snips somehow.

If you want to go somewhere to swim cheaper than a city pool, this is ok, especially if you live up there. Or to relax floating on the water in the sun on an air mattress if you have one. If you're looking to get out away from it all in the beauty of nature, this is not the place to go. If you have a kayak or canoe, it'd be a lot of fun out there or a sailboat too.

Trash, left behind by some idiot who is likely also a drunk.
Part of the trail.

An interesting tree.

The creek that fills the reservoir.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

To Alsea and Beyond!!!!

I travelled to the remote corners of the coast range to witness a culture hidden from society and time. This culture, living in a community called Gordyville is secretive, independent natured, beautiful and hidden far from the eyes of most civilized peoples.

I noted in my adventure that even here, they don't fix their cats. This was a great disappointment as I had hoped to meet enlightenment, but there is not enlightenment to be found where also are found unfixed cats. So be it. I must journey even farther.

Gordyville is a town to itself, composed of about 8 to ten houses, on property owned by one man. Yes. His first name happens to be Gorden. How did you guess?

I have long desired to have my own small town. But then again, after thinking it through carefully, I've decided against such a goal. I'd rather be a hermit living in a very large tree trunk.

Gordyville's residents, living in this small community composed of family members and their friends, got 8 cats fixed through Poppa Inc. and myself a month or so ago. This time, I trapped a supposedly feral male, but he's not feral at all, just scared. He howled his head off then allowed petting through the trap mesh once caught and he was, to be honest, a very easy catch. Someone dumped the poor boy way way out there, to die, but he didn't, he found Gordyville.

I also have two tame females, a tame male, and a tame male kitten. Alas, Edward, the other tame male, took off long before I arrived. But, they also have 8 more, that's right, 8 MORE kittens, who will need fixed once big enough. Gordyville then will be fixed. I did offer one guy a neuter job, since they had said they had seven cats to come, but only had five, leaving me two free spots and so I suggested to one young adult, he could slip in as number six and nobody would say a word, I was sure. He freaked out, man.

Gordyville lies in beautiful country south of Alsea on the slopes of the Coast Range. From there, you can travel on to Eugene, if you know the back roads, or connect with Highway 36, also on back roads. Or, you can get lost and end up a rotting skeleton in your dead car somewhere on one of the many branching roads to nowhere.

Stupid Stunt with N. Albany Kittens

I had Nemo's stool analized. They found nothing but suspected giardia due to the greenish tinge to the three kittens' diarrhea. This makes sense because they drink from wetland water fouled with nutria waste or from water running through a horse used field.

I asked the vet if year old malted metro, refrigerated during that year, would still be good. I'm drop dead broke, you see. Affording more metro, out of the question currently.

She thought it might be ok. But there has been no improvement in the ten days they have been on it. Today, I think, "oh my gawd, that malt has sugar in it, and it has rotted in a year. There's no way it couldn't have unless I'd frozen it." I've been giving them rotten medicine. Poison really.

I dumped it out and kicked myself for being so stupid. I expect them now to recover quickly.

They're gaining weight nonetheless and are so lovable. However, they still run if I walk into the bathroom, so they're not totally socialized yet. But I carry them around and they just love being brushed. I gave Nemo a bad haircut intially, because he's had hairball issues. The boys have thin long hair, the worst for developing hairballs.

All three are ragdoll like, in that they flop limp when picked up. They're adorable and having the time of their life, playing, sleeping and being cuddled.

Heartland has asked me to take three unsocialized kittens they got in, rather than them having to kill them, I thought they were saying, as feral and unsociable. They want to trade me for social kittens, but I don't have any ready, only Machi, who is pretty much spoken for by a woman returning July 31. The two girls, Fantasia and Echo, are not social enough for Heartland really. Their brothers were, but boys are always easier to socialize. The three from N. Albany have diarrhea, so are not candidates. And Slurpy and Tabitha are both spoken for too.

So, the unspoken for kittens here, five in all, Echo, Fantasia, Nemo, Peko and Starry are not suitable. However, I'll likely agree to foster only the three, to socialize them, in exchange for something. Advantage maybe. Metronizadole maybe, if they have it.

I'm sure something can be worked out, to keep these three kittens in the living zone, and not push me further into the red zone. UPDATE: Heartland decided to take the kittens out of that foster home, who also has the mom, who is pregnant again. Mom and kittens were dumped in a Corvallis park. They will also fix the kittens then send them out to a more experienced fosterer. So I'm off the hook and the kittens will be fine.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Goodbye Tabitha. Sort of.

The other family, who had also been interested in Wild Willy and Chaos, also came over and put a hold on Tabitha. Tabitha is a great fit for them. They are leaving on vacation but will pick her up mid August. They paid the adoption fee and signed the application. It's a great home, perfect fit for her, I think.

Slurpy too is spoken for, after she gets fixed, which happens once she's well over her cold.

That leaves me the three N. Albany kittens, still sick but much better and eating like there's no tomorrow; Machi from Lebanon; and Meesa's two girls, Echo and Fantasia. Fantasia is becoming very cuddley lately.

Machi, Echo and Fantasia are not fixed yet. Willy and Chaos grew quicker and made the two pound weight grade to be fixed last Tuesday. The girls are very close and Machi is now at two pounds. There was someone interested in Machi who will be back the first of August. Sounded like a great match if she gets back and still is interested.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Goodbye Wild Willy and Chaos

Wild Willy and Chaos, from downtown Albany, went to live with a family today. Good luck, boys!

Missing Kyron Horman Story is Getting Crazier

I cannot believe the twists and turns going on in the case of the missing little boy Kyron Horman, up in Portland. Now, the cops and FBI are searching homes of her friends. I remember when he first went missing, a friend defending Terri, the stepmom, on the news, without so much as a mention of Kyron and the horror of him being missing.

What in the world is going on here? What is the real story, I wonder. What really happened to Kyron and why? I hope the police sort it all out, but this is one strange story and everyone involved is looking real shady.

Why won't Dede Spicher, Terri Horman's friend, be honest with police? I guess she got a sudden call while on a landscaping job, the day Kyron disappeared, and left. The homeowner, who expected both workers for lunch, could then not get ahold of her and neither could her fellow worker. Not until 1:00 P.M., which is the time, according to commenters on news stories, the same time Kaine Horman said Terri came home the day of Kyron's disappearance. I am going to e-mail Poppa's pres, and see if she knows this Dede, because Poppa's pres does landscaping sometimes.

I know there are tons of people who do that kind of work, but can't hurt to try. What is it with landscapers? That man who killed his wife and kids in an Oregon coastal town, then threw them in the bay, then headed off to be a playboy in Mexico was a failed landscaper. I forget his name.

Call me a gossip hound. But this story is nuts and all the people involved seem nuts. You never want to think a family and extended family are that complicatedly crazy. But I bet every family if put under such a spotlight would come up similar, in twisted members and secrets and faults and all sorts of human frailties.

Well, the story has me on the edge of my seat, to see what might happen next. And wouldn't it be wonderful if Kyron Horman appeared, suddenly, alive and well, rescued from the twisted web of the adults in his life? Would that not be the ending everyone glued to this story would love?

Most missing kid cases don't end up so happily. Maybe this one will be different.

My Lucky Day

I think yesterday was probably my luckiest day yet. I'm still alive, after messing in a curcuit breaker box, worn out and frustrated, without bothering to read up on the dangers first.

And I survived. Lucky! So today, I bought a lottery ticket. Maybe my luck is changing!

A normal person would think "You know, even though the power's off to the house, it's still coming into the house from the pole. No way to shut that off." And I would have thought of that obvious fact, had I not been so dog dead tired and frustrated. It didn't even cross my mind. All it takes is a slip and a metal screwdriver hitting those "power in" lines and boom, lights out.

I'm an electrical being. My whole body runs on electrical current. A big old outside driven sudden force of current overwhelms my circuits and fries me! That's not funny and it happens to lots of careless people, to birds who perch on the wrong lines and to some people who just get struck out of the blue and also to those on death row in states who kill by fry jobs, if there are any who still do that.

I have two families--TWO!--interested in Wild Willy and Chaos. Yeah!!!!!!!

They both sound really super wonderful, too. My luck might be changing.

You never know what's around the next corner on the windy curvy road of life. You just never know.

Hard Day

I was still half under the influence today of something. I think it was the butt scoping prep fluid. Having diarrhea for 16 hours, self-induced, drained me of something, probably electrolytes. I could barely move today. Yet I had to.

I had to fix the electric problems here. No choice. I shouldn't have been in that darn circuit breaker box without knowing what I was doing but I was. Later, I learned I was quite lucky to be alive. I wasn't being careful of the two big "in" bundles, which are hot all the time. I could have flopped a screwdriver against those and I would have been a fry baby.

I only realized that afterwards. I was struggling with the new breakers. They require some special tool, another scam to get money out people's pockets. They did not have an ordinary screw head to clamp down the wire. Nope. What bullshit.

So I struggled and flipped and pried and all the while, death stalked me a few inches away in the form of those power in bundles of wire. I was being careless and I got frustrated and when frustrated I slip and tools go flying and I could have died today.

I also replaced four outlets, in similar frustration, holding a flashlight under my chin to try to see.

But the outlets now work and I'm back to electric normal. I also recycled the failed microwave and the parts of the push mower I badly wanted to refurbish. But I realized I'd never have the tools, parts or money to do it. The plastic China made push mower I have now doesn't cut well at all and the handle is so flimsy, it's going to break quick.

At least I got a few things done, but I haven't been "quite right". I am worn out and have zero energy and I think that's from the runs.

I'm also broke. Terribly broke. Having to purchase more electric parts didn't help my situation. Who the hell cares. Going to be tough the rest of the month but that's life.

I don't even let myself think anymore about doing something like going camping or anything else. There's no money for anything extra.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Pseudo Estrogen Chemicals in Our Foods Causing Obesity, Maybe even Contributing to Breast Cancer

Click post title to go to an article about how to diet in this new age of chemical everything. The article talks about pseudo estrogens. Finally! These are contained in common pesticides that end up in food we eat and products we use to contain food and water, like some plastics and some cans.

Advice given is to avoid the "dirty dozen" fruits and vegetables most contaminated with toxins and worth spending the money to buy organic. These include apples, strawberries, peaches, kale, collards, spinach and domestic blueberries. Everyone thinks blueberries are heatlhy but only if not sprayed.

The article lists also the "clean 15", those fruits and vegetables not highly sprayed and that are safe to buy nonorganic. These include onions, mangos and kiwi fruit.

The article talks about how to safely use and not use plastic and what to buy and not buy in tin cans.

The article suggests sticking to the small fish as larger fish eat smaller fish and concentrate toxins.

The article suggests not eating feed lot meat at all, not that it is even humane to eat cows and chickens the way they are raised in these horrible feed lots and in the case of chickens, in enclosed crammed buildings where they do not see the light of day until crammed into trucks open on both sides, to give them a freezing windy or blistering hot ride to their deaths.

I see these trucks heading north on I5 and it's hard to look at, when I pass them, the chickens, exposed to the wind of 65 mpg hour travel, as they head to die at a slaughterhouse. I know how they live before they reach that point and it is terrible to think how we treat animals, who are living beings. It is far more humane to hunt wild food, if you eat meat, than to eat animals raised in this new age factory farming like is done now. We are a efficiently viscious species, to be sure.

Anyhow, the article interesting and informative. Don't forget, women out there, that estrogen, even pseudo estrogens, are often the culprit in feeding many breast cancers. So are we getting breast cancer from our food and products? This should be investigated.

Adopt Tabitha!

Tabitha is so beautiful and smart.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

It's Over

The butt scoping is over. Am glad. Loved the anesthesia, as always. Got a nice nap. Came home, and started pulling every ripe sungold cherry tomato out there off and eating them. They are sooo good! It's why I got two of that variety. I got them way too early. They were tiny plants and sickly looking and then the spring weather turned to more like deep winter weather. So I hauled them in and out of my garage to protect them. Now they're about four feet tall with lots of fruit coming in.

What else did I get from the garden I never really planted? Mustard spinach. Lots of that. A few potatos from old potatos I tossed on the compost pile that sprouted and produced anyhow. Zucchini. Lots of that. Basil. Lots of that, good for pesto or salad seasoning. I haven't dried any yet. I let it go to seed last year so now it's growing like a weed around here.

Pod peas, which are done now. Beans are coming on, late, very late. I've got lettuce, Kale and Collards ready for eating, too. And I'm letting my catnip go to seed. I thought about collecting the seed and pressing it into oil, but I'd have to rig a press and I don't know how much seed I'd need to get how much oil. I might try doing it, for the hell of it.

I never really planted much this year, due to the severity of spring weather. But I've had good yield from what I did plant.

I have taken to replanting green onions, even store bought ones, then reharvesting. That is a money saver. Do with it with leeks now too.

The butt scoping is over. Had nothing inside my colon except one small polyp that will be biopsied. The doctor thought it would be nothing.

I think my bowel issues are a combo of adhesions and lactose intolerance. Cheese hurts my gut badly. My gut does not like cheese but my mouth does and my brain gets weak sometimes. Note to self: cheese is bad. Cheese maka me sicka. I don't drink cows milk. I like it but it makes me sick almost immediately. I weaken sometimes and get ice cream. And of course cheese is like a ton of milk condensed up, and that is really really bad for my gut. Even chocolate is mostly milk these days. It is cheaper to peddle chocolate by diluting it with milk and lots of sugar. But, it also dilutes the flavor.

My brother might come up Friday to try to fix the electrical. But, if I am able to fix it before then, I'll call him and say "you need not make the trip" and it is a long trip for him.

There's a tool I'll get he told me about. Checks for electricity in a wire without poking into the wire. You just pass it over the wire and by induction, a light goes on or doesn't, to tell you if there's current in the wire. Doesn't tell you how much but it should be fairly cheap and very useful. He wants me to replace all the breakers and that is likely the problem. I am slightly nervous about doing so, given the problem with the stove being on when the main is shut off. That shouldn't be. I just won't touch bare wires. My brother bragged he changes breakers hot but I won't do that. I am more cautious in many ways.

So Hungry

It's been only a little over a day since I ate last. 7:00 p.m. Monday night. I had some cereal. Nothing after that, because today I was supposed to eat nothing and I haven't. But oh my gosh, my stomach is growling like a cat fight. The rescued kittens here stare at my stomach, then run.

I am dreaming of all sorts of food I haven't eaten forever. Right now, I'm thinking an entire pizza sounds nice. Fajitas! Tacos! Avocado sandwich with tomato, onion, kale and cheese with Dijon mustard! Yumyumyum!

Leek and potato soup! Yes! My own creation of course.

No, no. Pasta, mixed with freshly grated parmeson and pesto, made out of basil from my garden. Tossed in: lightly sauteed vegees. Served hot. Or cold. Don't care right now!

Or, blueberries. An entire bucket. I think Blueberry Meadows is open for picking now. I have ripe Sungold cherry tomatos on the vine growing in a container in my driveway! I want to pop one in my mouth and bite down! Right now.

I purchased a portabella mushroom at the store a month ago and stuffed it and baked it. It was bland and uninteresting to the taste. I wonder what I did wrong.

Oysters! I love them. Ok, halibut, fresh, lemon and pepper seasoned, sprig of parsley, baked, not fried. Shrimp, just off the boats, cooked, dip in shrimp sauce or butter. Real butter.

Corn on the cob! Oh, stop! Stop!

As for my electrical issues, I will get a book and read up on household wiring, then do my best to track down and solve the problem myself.

I will cut back on electric use too, to save money. The dryer, the frig and the hot water heater suck the most. I can hang cage cover towels for now, even over doors, although this makes my clothes to stiff and hard, so they will still get the dryer.

I wonder how much running that frig costs a day. I wonder if it would actually be cheaper to use an ice chest. I bet I could really insulate an ice chest to keep in cold so the ice wouldn't melt too fast. Or, I could just eat no refrigeration foods like nuts. I like nuts anyhow, so big deal, eh?

Also, I guess I need to learn how to completely repair anything that could go wrong with my car, so I'll be ahead when it does go wrong. I am not looking forward to this last one. I do not like working on cars. I have done so, out of necessity, but I don't like it.

Can't Do This Anymore

I can't live here anymore. I have been trying to find another place. It was a mistake to rent from family. I feel like such a burden when there are repairs needing done. My brother has no work. I don't feel right bugging him, like with these electrical problems. I don't know what to do anymore.

The only thing I can do is get out of here. That still leaves him a house, with some issues. My older brother claims that to sell the house, not that it would be possible in this day and age, the place would require over 10k in work, to make it marketable. I'm not sure if he talked to my younger brother to come up with that or what.

I suppose he might mean the roof, which is over its useful span, the paint, which is peeling in a handful of places, siding that is split, swollen or falling off in a very few places, then the electrical and water under the house issue. I don't know. Those are basic minor house upkeep things. Reroofing is very expensive, however, I know.

But the electrical off and on stuff kind of worries me, but I am going to try just replacing the circuit breakers, all of them. This house is 40 years old. They're old.

Right now, I'm broke so it isn't going to happen real soon. My microwave quit. It had rusted out and probably was unsafe anyhow.

The place is old. Like me. There are shelves whose supports were screwed merely into drywall, not studs, now sagging and falling off. A couple of the windows leak at the bottom, sealant failure I guess, I really don't know. I've sealed I think those leaks with caulk but its unsightly, if someone was really looking, like a buyer.

It's more house than I can afford to live in. And I can't afford repairs or to replace appliances. Still paying off the frig. When I think of power rates going up 10% and sewer rates by 7% real soon here, I can't do it. It was a nice idea. My brother wanted to help. It was bought with what was supposed to be my share of my parents estate, but it won't work on my income and never really has.

I've lived here 3 years, ever since the evil Corvallis slumlord evicted me from that shack at Christmas, when the gas furnace failed, although it had been failing when I moved in. That was some trip, that crap house. I can't even believe it to think about it now. The front door didn't lock and wouldn't even close because it wasn't square when I moved in. I had to fix everything before I moved in. The landlady came over once, when I was working on it, and urged me to hurry up and get it repaired so HUD could approve it and I could move in. You see, then she'd get a rent check and a HUD check. She was something else, but I had no choices then either. Gray water was dumped into the yard. Oh my gosh, it was unbelievable.

I remember when I smelled the gas leak. I hadn't move in yet and went over to her place to tell her. She chided me, said I should be calling the gas company to fix it. I said "I don't even live there yet. And there's no phone hooked up in there to call the gas company."

"Then drive to a friends house and call and don't bother me about it." That's what she said. I should have moved into a homeless camp at that point. People would have been nicer.

The stand alone furnace caused RF interference running through the electric lines in the house whenever its fan turned on. This caused snow on the TV every few seconds, from the RF interference. This, I was told by an electrician I called, was due to the motor failing. He advised replacement of the furnace then. I told the landlady this, who told me I was crazy, and that I was a severely problematic tenant. She told me that a lot.

The fan in the furnace was off and on constantly because there was no insulation in the place. Average temp in the bedroom in winter: 42 degrees. No heat in the bathroom, which was peppered in mold. Anyhow, I fixed tons of things there myself, learned a lot of repairs, place had to be rewired when it nearly caught fire, which is why I fear electrical problems, big time.

My younger brother, who shouldered the burden as my landlord here, is having his own troubles finding work. I don't want more stress on him, when things fail here. He's not real communicative so I don't know much about his life or work. I don't know my brothers well at all, to be honest. I never see them and have not been part of their lives since childhood.

All I know is its awkward to say anything about any problems here, because he's family and because I know about the economy affecting his business. But I am unable to fix a lot of things myself or afford to. So much easier in some ways to live in a crumbling shack, if you have no money. I thought about those crumbling blackened trailers over there, where I returned a cat today. I belong somewhere like that, on my income. You can't fix those cause they're too far gone, so you don't have to think about trying.

I feel old myself, like nothing works anymore. Tonight I'm supposed to be prepping for a gut test and yukko, drinking a gallon of salty fluid. I want to vomit right now, probably won't sleep tonight due to frequent needed bathroom trips. I'm just feeling really old and kind of helpless in a way, to master my destiny, housing wise.

I feel I should be able to think of a solution, but I'm not coming up with anything. I have all these cats and I must find most of them homes. But how, in this economy, how? I've got to think of something.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Can't Stand Reading....

I can't stand reading stories about young people drowning or dying in car wrecks. I just hate to think of parents' shrieking, friends sobbing, of young lives snuffed out before they really begin.

It's even worse when it's gang related huff n puff shootings, you know, fence top males yowling, only with humans in gangs, they're pulling out guns and killing each other and anyone nearby.

It's all so senseless. Good luck to any young folk reading. Good luck.

Six Cats Being Fixed Today

Lyons street torti, very pregnant.
"Fluffy" a former stray taken in by a resident of that street, but he needed neutered.
Lebanon male kitten being fixed today.

I took up six cats today to be fixed at the Salem clinic. I felt bad afterwards. I had made apointments for both today and Friday but this had been a mistake on their part. They went ahead and are doing the six today but I cannot take any in on Friday. This clinic is overwhelmed by the need, not only for their shelter animals, but from groups who help animals and the general public.

So I'm back to square one basically and need to find somewhere I can take in enough cats to make a difference.

The six who went in today: two more from the same place the males done yesterday came from. The DD woman had taken in another male cat, another tame stray from the area. I didn't know she had done so, until the neighbor told me and that he isn't fixed. So "Fluffy" is being neutered. Fluffy is not fluffy at all. In fact his fur is short and sleek.

I did catch the pregnant torti, near 11:00 p.m. last night. She's up being fixed. There was supposed to be another gray male this neighbor feeds, but I was too tired to trap more and have to check traps all night. So, in all, four more cats from that situation have been fixed yesterday and today.

Another male comes from Lebanon and then I picked up a female in Corvallis, down a hidden little lane with nine falling apart rotten trailers. The cat has kittens but they're only a pound.

Wild Willy and Chaos are also up being fixed. Six in all. Four males and two females.

I had the rest of the Alsea group of cats lined up for Friday's appointment. Not sure what to do now. They have two adult males left needing fixed, a female, and two kittens old enough to be fixed. I already got 8 cats from that household fixed. I want to end the breeding there, but how, with no clinic to take them for fixing, unless I come up with $10 per cat. They don't have $50. They donated $20 before but that was a stretch for them.

Outlet troubles again here. I come home, gone just two hours, and the outlet my phone jack plugs into is dead plus one other. There are others on the same circuit but they're fine. I can't figure it out, but it scares me. The strange thing is, when I shut off the main at the circuit breaker, the stove and oven still stay on. Now something's wrong there. The outlets dead this time are not the same ones that went dead last time. I'm clueless as to what is going on.

Right now, I don't have a phone with a message machine. That's because the only working phone jack is by the two outlets that don't work. Nowhere to plug a message machine in anywhere close. So it goes.

Monday, July 19, 2010

This is Freaking Scary!

Click post title to go to WA Post story on Top Secret America. I cannot believe it. Over 3/4 of a million Americans work in Top Secret America, with security clearances. Can you believe this?

We need America back from the boogy woogy shadow people.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Note to Self: Lighten Up!

I'm grumpy lately. Just overwhelmed, is all. Then, the more animal abuse, neglect and abandonment I see, the more distraught I get.

I can only do what I can do. I need to relax and realize this once again.

I've had this tooth thing going on. First, an age old filling fell out. I finally got it replaced, but, now I can't close my mouth properly or even chew because the filling is high on the inside, and one bottom tooth hits the high spot preventing all my other teeth from clamping together, to chew. Food falls out of my mouth when I try and my jaw is all disjointed as a result.

I do have a call in to the dentist. Just needs some shaving off on the inside, is all, but boy, that little high spot has thrown me for a loop. However, it is great for my weight loss program and maybe I should put off getting it fixed for a couple weeks. I'd be gorgeous!

I have it pretty good. I have a place to live. I don't even have to go out and help cats, I just do it, because somebody needs to and most people can't, either because they work or because they can't take the abuse by people or seeing so much animal neglect. It isn't something most people can do. Maybe I am getting to a point where I can't do it anymore. Knowing that line might be a good thing.

The new neighbors are raising a lot of ire around here. They are kind of scary, cruising around at night on those black bikes. I mean, that's what car clouters do and house burglars. Then working on various cars half the night in the driveway and parking excess vehicles all over, they're not making any friends. In fact, they're making people buy more locks and security cameras. I wonder if they know how nervous they are making people, with their behavior. Maybe I should tell them. People can change. It happens.

My stomach has been acting out badly so I have to have a test done. I hope everything's ok, but it isn't ok. I don't know what is wrong but something is wrong and has been for a long time.

So I'm not so ok lately, and having all these kittens here, is difficult, especially when I don't know how I'll find them homes. Or even how I'll get them all fixed. I try to stay positive. Now and then too much stress kicks in over too long of hours and too many horrible things. I don't seem to meet nice people, just people who don't fix their animals and then the situations are terrible, with great suffering and it hurts my soul to witness so much.

I keep wondering why people don't seem to care. But it's senseless to wonder that, does no good. It's just the way things are. The only thing I might be able to change is to help the cats get fixed and that's it. I can't make people care about anything.

When I have medical problems, I get a desperation to me. I think, if I die, did I really do anything much at all to make things better and shouldn't I have accomplished bigger changes. I can't help thinking that when I think about me dying. Why didn't I do more, I think, why didn't I come up with a big idea that could really have changed the world for cats and make a huge dent in the feline overpopulation problem.

Life is precious and zips by quickly. No time to tarry on things I might want to accomplish because death's big old anvil is up there, hovering above, ready to fall any second in the dark and squish me into a splotch on the sidewalk of life.