Hard Day

I was still half under the influence today of something. I think it was the butt scoping prep fluid. Having diarrhea for 16 hours, self-induced, drained me of something, probably electrolytes. I could barely move today. Yet I had to.

I had to fix the electric problems here. No choice. I shouldn't have been in that darn circuit breaker box without knowing what I was doing but I was. Later, I learned I was quite lucky to be alive. I wasn't being careful of the two big "in" bundles, which are hot all the time. I could have flopped a screwdriver against those and I would have been a fry baby.

I only realized that afterwards. I was struggling with the new breakers. They require some special tool, another scam to get money out people's pockets. They did not have an ordinary screw head to clamp down the wire. Nope. What bullshit.

So I struggled and flipped and pried and all the while, death stalked me a few inches away in the form of those power in bundles of wire. I was being careless and I got frustrated and when frustrated I slip and tools go flying and I could have died today.

I also replaced four outlets, in similar frustration, holding a flashlight under my chin to try to see.

But the outlets now work and I'm back to electric normal. I also recycled the failed microwave and the parts of the push mower I badly wanted to refurbish. But I realized I'd never have the tools, parts or money to do it. The plastic China made push mower I have now doesn't cut well at all and the handle is so flimsy, it's going to break quick.

At least I got a few things done, but I haven't been "quite right". I am worn out and have zero energy and I think that's from the runs.

I'm also broke. Terribly broke. Having to purchase more electric parts didn't help my situation. Who the hell cares. Going to be tough the rest of the month but that's life.

I don't even let myself think anymore about doing something like going camping or anything else. There's no money for anything extra.