Woohooo. Re-employed!

So, I'll be starting, mid month, to take cats in to Willamette Humane's spay neuter clinic. I won't be able to take as many in as I have, but at least I can take in some. Better than none! Yay!

Here's to hoping the OR Vet Board will figure a way to help the people of Oregon make solving feline overpopulation far easier. I know they could.

In other news, Lane County is getting it together. Numerous groups got Petsmart free roaming cat grants, and one group alone is getting 40 ferals at least fixed a week at Greenhill. I wish we had a shelter fixing public cats in this area. Boy do I wish that. If I lived in the Eugene area, I could get employment as a trapper with one or two different groups.

I think if I could rig up somehow, a very very small home made trailer to pull, to sleep and cook in, I could be a travelling spay neuter trapper. If I could rig something right, and find homes for the cats here, I think I'd love that lifestyle.

Here, I struggle to find a place now to get any cats fixed, without driving an hour one direction, but I can't even get in there now, due to them upping prices by $20 per cat over that rule. But I haven't totally given up.

I am totally paranoid over what happened to the other four kittens I took to Heartland with the other three, who came back here, (from the Lebanon situation). I returned two of the kittens late last week to be fixed and adopted out. I guess they were adopted.

As for those other four, I can't find out anything. I want to trust Heartland, but I have a hard time trusting them. That's because of history. A few years ago, they took in a few kittens from the BS colony, when I was overwhelmed getting over 120 cats fixed on that short dead end street. I took to Heartland, in all, about five, with fears over it, even though they were under no kill order, to be returned to me if they decided they couldn't keep them, for space or whatever reason, instead of killing them.

I had a volunteer for a brief time, who also was undergoing volunteer training at Heartland. She mentioned to me she went for training one day and most of the cats were gone. They'd killed them, due to a ringworm outbreak.

I had not received a call about Marianne and Scottie, the latest two kittens I'd taken over, to come retrieve them. I raced over there. Scottie and Marianne were in a carrier by the euthanasia room, about to be killed. They had been in foster, had come back, and they were going to kill them. They claimed under black light, one had a few hairs of green glow on one ear, indicating possibly ringworm. They did not have ringworm. I was furious but glad I had been able to save them. They both ended up in great homes. I determined then never to trust Heartland again.

But I did, with these seven kittens. I was told by the shelter director they weren't the same shelter. I believed them. Was it stupid of me? Did those four kittens die because I was too naive?

So I have been under stress thinking about it. I want it to be for no reason at all, other than the history I've experienced there. I became more stressed when they asked me to come get the three, who otherwise would be euthanized, because they had URI's. I keep asking about the other four, and have not really received an answer that calms my fears.

I very much want to believe they are a different shelter, that they would honor a no kill request resolutely. I want to be able to trust them. But my stomach is queezy and I can't stop worrying about those four kittens. I don't rescue kittens to have them killed.

UPDATE: Yay. They have reassured me the four are still in foster and just fine. I feel much better. I thought both Tabitha and Prancer had been adopted but it was only Prancer. Tabitha is still waiting. I must have missed her when looking at the kittens yesterday. Probably sleeping in one of the little kitten beds they have in the kitten rooms.

I've decided to start having a ceremony, when a cat leaves here, either if adopted (if I ever get another adoption inquiry) or goes to another group or shelter. Some sort of a let go/goodbye ceremony, to symbolically let them go, from my mind, so I don't worry about them forever. It's hard for me. I know people think it's silly, to worry about one little kitten, among the millions out there. But I do, if they've gone through my hands. I know them, know what they need, what they fear, what makes them happy. I want the best for them.

Plus, I've seen the darkside out there, and it is very very black indeed.