Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Rainy Rainy Day

I am soggy to the core. This rain is driving me moldy, driving me dismal and bland and monotone. It's been going on forever it seeems like.

Mr. Sun, return please, even for a day, thank you.

I haven't left the house today. It's my revolt. Against the cost of cars. But the reverse revenge, from the car culture, is, that without a car, I don't see anybody all day and start to go stir crazy quick. I don't have anywhere to go, honestly, when not working.

Not that doesn't take an hour or more drive.

I shop in Salem, but not very often, maybe twice a month, to get human and cat food. Or in Corvallis, because I know people in Corvallis. Or did. But I like to go back over there. I imagine I'll run into someone I know and be able to chat with another human. Or even more. My dreams go wild when I've been isolated way too much.

Cars are expensive and money pits. I oft wish society wasn't built around their ownership, because I"d like to not own one.

But neither do I want stuck in Albany every day of every week of every year til I die. Oh my god, what a nightmare to think of that! So I need my car. I need it to get my groceries, my cat food and my cat litter and for my work. I need to dream I might stumble upon enough money to go on some little vacation too one day. I need that in the offing, in the possibilities pile, to keep on going.

If I didn't have my car, I'd probably end up walking around the endless concrete streets a few times a week and the rest of the time, sit staring at the stupid TV or read a book.

It'd be a lonely life I think, but lots of people don't ahve cars in Albany. I didn't have a car for lots and lots of years when I lived in Corvallis. If you had a car, in the circles I was in, everybody was after those people, wanting rides to the store, rides to go swimming somewhere, to go camping, to go to Portland. People who had cars tried to hide the fact they had a car so they didn't get inundated.

I'm basically complaining tonight, just stir crazy thats' all, from this rainy drizzly icky weather that won't break and show me that sun up there, behind those clouds raining. It's there, shining. I just can't feel it. It could evaporate all those clouds and their rain and shine on me. Come on Sun. Shine on down. I need you.

I think it would only be fair if everyone in the southern hemishere switched places with northern hemispherees, for three months at least, once a year, the shift to coincide with our Oregon dreary winter. The rest of the country is getting slammed this year too, with cold weather and snow. I know. I'm complaining for all of us, don't you see, not just me.

I want the days long and warm again. I'd take mildly long with a hint of sun. That's enough.

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