Thursday, January 24, 2008

Scully is Dying

Old Scully, a river cat, who lived along the banks of the Willamette down from the Corvallis post office most of her life, is dying. She's a tough old gal who's had a tough life. She's been fading for a few weeks. I can't bring myself to take her to the vet to end it. I just can't. She's feral, you see, to everyone but me. She'd be scared and struggle and she's so old and frail. I can't see her fragile body being held down, as she struggles, and the needle going in while she's scared. So she's going on her own terms, and it's sad for me. I identify with old Scully. She survived by the skin of her teeth along those banks, the same banks I lived along. The kindness that kept her going came from a very old deaf woman, who lived in an upper apartment in the dilapidated rental building across from the post office.

Old Myrtle was 98 when she died. I took in Scully when Myrtle collapsed, I think four years ago. Myrtle lived another two years in a nursing home. I'd gotten Scully trapped and fixed 8 years before I took her in. She had lived as an adult along the banks a few years before that, putting out litters. So she's old, and tough, and wonderful. And now she's dying.

Hopi, my first cat, also from the banks of the Willamette, nine years old now, isn't doing well either. She's lost weight off and on, the last few months. I figured it to be stress caused from the move and being so confined inside here. She's not happy here. And hopefully that stress caused nothing else.

I took her into the vet tonight and she got bloodwork done. High calcium might point to cancer, like lymphoma, so common in cats, so I hope she's not got that. She has no other symptoms of diabetes, which can cause weight loss, or of hyperthyroidism. She's never been an overweight cat and always has hovered between 8and 9 pounds. She now weighs just over 6 pounds. She has no parasites.

So I've got two cats on the brink. Two cats I've loved forever. It's hard.

I've had a hard day of pain and wrenching lonliness.

3 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear about old Scully- I have never pet her - obviously, I only know her virtually and vicariously thru you and your wonderful works - but she holds a special place in my heart. I have not (somewhat like you) been that impressed with organized religion lately with the exception of a few chaplains who seem to be good with the kids and families but that's is them and not the Church per se. But I'll send her some good vibes and even a few prayers - I had a rosary out when we were informed my y dad was dying - as a good luck charm and a nun I work with had a Mass said for him so I guess that kind of thing can't hurt - IF it comes from folks who truly wnt to do good and are not using the Church for their own motives. (I am cynical about these things I suppose).

    That said, I know Scully is aging and it sounds to me like you are doing the right thing. We have vets here who will come to your hoke if your furbaby is not comfortable going to the clinic- and I mean, here she is sick anyway. You wold think some vet would help you at this time. I wish I lived closer - I'd bring my medicine bag (the one my folks gave me as a gift when I graduated med school) (Did I ever tell you I attended med school in the US- Massachusetts where I swear there are more universities than Starbucks!) and give you meds that you could do what you want with when you thin the time is right. I am sure you know how to administer them since you have cared for so many cats!!! Alas, Oregon is a long way from Oregon.

    Pls give Scully a big loooooong hug from me and my meezers!!!

    ((((((((((((((Scully)))))))))))))))

    btw, did you get my pix of DC- I still have to find a name for him, Maybe you can ask your readers and it will be a contest- though what can I give the winning gentry?

    I thought of you today - I have boxes and boxes of free drug samples from those *&^% big phrama reps and it occurred to me if only I could get these to J- if she knows someone in the homeless community there, tghey might be able to use them with te help of a doctor. But you would need a doc who would be able to help these ppl for free. Here, I can give them to women's shelteres and other places where there are needy foilks and their doc on call is able to prescribe them to women who may for whatever reason not have a health plan (They may have run from the US for example) I would never give a med to a person if kit wa asnot prescribed- one never knows what other meds a person has taken, their med history, if they are allergic - a plethora of factors that need to be known. Most of these I will NEVER use, meds for cholesterol - which may help teens who say have fluctuating levels due to chemo but other than that, I do not treat so called adults so the samples take up half of a room, sigh! All I can do Is find clinics who can use them. I did manage to get rid of most of what I had during the Katrina debacle when I went there with Drs without Borders and I also donate them there n occasion as well but anyway, I am so offtrack. Sorry!!

    My love to Sculy and to Hopi!! Pls give Hopi a hug and kiss too!!!! They will be in my thoughts!

    And here is one for you! (((((((((((((((((Strayer))))))))))))))

    It is so hard to watch a loved one when they are ill and feel helpless. That happens even to me - and it has most recently with my dad. I told his doctor today how well he was doing - it's all relative- he is still working on movi9ng his fingers and walking for short periods once a day and she said she was so surprised. She thought for sure he would die! I am so glad we brought him to the hospital we wanted - but was not her that was the prob but this inadequate and unaggressive surgeon that he - and we- had to cope with. I know , JUST KNOW he'd be dead if he has remained there.

    I alas, have managed to tear my meniscus (I am tired and am trying to think of the lay name for it, sigh----- cartilage on my knee anyway.) Ir may mean surgery but hopefully not. I cannot really have an MRI (Thankfully - I am not keen on an MRI myself- mot claustrophobic or anything, just the thought of all that electromagnetic ions. But it is preferable than radiation so I guess I;ll survive the one I unexpectantly had today, lol

    ps- did you get my email?

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  2. I should have added the rosary is not part of my religion - I am not a Christian but it was given to me by a remarkable friend and so I treasure it for that reason alone. Not too many Jewish women out walling around with rosaries, lol

    And I am afraid our religion - our whole Judeo Christian tradition 0 give rise to more problems than most atheists and agnostics I know. There are many who mean well but some of the things done in the name of religion are very disheartening!! (and well, even perverse. I need not say more I do not think)

    Sorry for the typos above- is there a way to edit I wonder?

    Take care!!!!

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  3. Ahhh, I meant to say Oregon is a long way from the Maritime provinces in Canada, lol It is not far from itself, Gawd!!

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